May 10 2016

A Review of Submitting to the Alpha Demon by Demona Lust

Submitting to the Alpha Demon by Demona Lust

Submitting to the Alpha Demon by Demona Lust

There are some works which I have a difficult time reading. The problem mainly comes to how the story is told, the disconnect I have with the characters and, more often than not, erotica that just has no heat in it to speak of.

Dialog is a difficult thing to write, because when it is written in the wrong way, the words are stumbled over and it hurts the story as a whole. When the characters themselves are stumbling as well, then it is very hard to keep things interesting.

  • Title: Submitting to the Alpha Demon
  • Author: Demona Lust
  • Length: 24 Pages
  • ASIN: B017K3ZZC2
  • Publishing Date: November 3, 2015
  • This work at

It tells the story of:

A Demon, an Angel and a Priest walk into a church… Wilson, a man of the cloth, must confront Demos, a demon from the underworld and Jeremiah, a soon-to-be fallen angel in this battle of good versus evil. Both want his soul but only one can have it. Will the priest give in to the Demon’s power and allow his carnal desires to consume him. Or will the Angel be able to save his soul from the devil?

Wilson finds himself confronted by a demon, more of an Incubus, that wants him, and an angel who also wants him. A crisis of faith moves towards something else which tells a story of them all.

The idea of this work, the theme suggested, I thought had quite a lot of promise to it, but there were many difficulties for the work to overcome that I don’t think it managed to deal with. The first of these is the internal monologue of Wilson, the main character. It is uneven, reads oddly, and there are a lot of disconnects, odd sentence structure and overall in being so that makes it quite difficult to read.

The dialog as well has the same difficulties. It reads strangely, having no real inflection, purpose or tone. It reads too stiff and formal, there’s no real emotion behind the words most of the time and being so when the erotica comes into play, and that continues throughout, it’s difficult to find any heat in the moment.

The erotica itself leaves a lot to be desires, there’s no real passion or heat in it, reading much like an adult film in many ways and I think the same can be said for the story as a whole. It isn’t so much erotica as it is an adult film which means the story is by rote and then the erotica seems to follow the same path. There’s heart missing in the story and that needed to be there.

The beginning of the work is abrupt and confused, as is the ending, and that doesn’t help as well. The work needs a good deal of editing to bring some life to all of the characters, to give them each a clear voice. There needs to be a connection, at the moment, there isn’t one to speak of.

Two out of five pitchforks.

The work needs a serious rewrite to bring some life into the dialog and the characters. There’s something missing throughout that leaves things flat and uninteresting right through the erotica as much as the story itself. The concept is intriguing, but the telling of the story doesn’t measure up to what the promise could have been.



May 09 2016

Share By TeraS

Yesterday was Mothers’ Day … Those that know me are aware that this day, along with another, are the hardest days of the year for me—especially this year. I’ve written some very sad things about this day, how it affects me, the loss, the pain, the moments when I … want to know … but I’ll never really know. The thing is, however, the reality doesn’t have to be the story. I can try to tell a story in which there are moments which aren’t so sad, so painful to remember. I can try to express them and …


By TeraS


A long time ago, well before Tera came to be, long before there was a pair of so-green eyes, a red tail, and horns, and that bemused smile she always has …

… there was another who had much of the same.

A long time ago, well before Keith came to be, long before there was a pair of deep blue eyes, a red tail, and horns, and that particular chuckle he has …

… there was another who had much of the same.

The two were from completely different worlds. Their backgrounds, family, nothing about them crossed over, save for one singular point in time and space: their friendship—but that’s another story of another time and place.

One was blonde, with the most interesting smile. The other was brunette, with the tendency to keep twirling a finger in her hair as she mused.

The blonde was reading, as she was wont to do, and just enjoying this moment in time. The brunette, also on the park bench, was less interested in the book, more in the cup of tea she was holding.

Taking a sip of the tea, the brunette mused to herself: “So, tell me. Have you thought about what your kids will be like?”

“Sometimes. What makes you ask, anyway?”

Looking at her tea, she shrugged: “Just was thinking today about what it would be like. What they’d be like.”


She continued to sip at her tea: “Well, I think I’ll have to read the leaves and see what the future holds.”

The reply began with the rolling of eyes: “You know, you love being mysterious. You pop up when I least expect it …”

“Oh come on, you love it when I do that.”

“I still want to know how you keep managing it.”

The answer was a zipping of lips and a bemused smile.

“Fine … I still think you’re studying to be a magician or something. I mean, you’ve never really said what your major is, or what your classes are over in that college of yours.”

“Same thing as in yours: teachers giving us dirty looks while we look innocent.”

“You have never been innocent.”

Another sip of tea: “Well, I can fake it well.”

Turning the page, she continued to read and her companion on the bench continued to sip at her tea.

“I’d like a daughter.”

“You’d make a great mom.”

“Not half as good as you.”

A bit of laughter: “Oh, I’ll be terrible. I’m … well, let’s call it overbearing.”

“Remind you of anyone?”

The closing of the book was accompanied with: “You’re strong-willed. That means your daughter will be a huge pain in your ass. I’ll bet you’re looking forwards to years of chasing the boys away from her.”

“I have my ways to be sure they’ll … behave around her.”

“You’re talking about that pitchfork from the family farm, aren’t you?”

The laughter was telling, more so when the two shared a hug and didn’t manage to spill the tea.

“What about you?”

“A boy; actually, I’d like a few of them. A daughter would be nice too.”


“You know, you really have to stop that. How is it that you know there’s something else to be said, anyway?”

More tea sipped: “I know you.”

“And I know you, too.”

Shrugging, the reader admitted: “It’s unlikely I’ll ever have a son or daughter. The doctors tell me it’s impossible. It’s a dream, that’s all. But who knows? A mouse might run over the bedsheets, scare me, and something might happen.”

The one sipping the tea regarded her for a long time: “Or … something.”

“There you go again, all mysterious and oogie boogie and stuff. You aren’t going to get me to go to one of those wild parties, missy.”

“I’m shocked! I would never make you wedge yourself into a pair of hot pants and spend an evening at the coffee house listening to poets that are trying to get into your pants.” She took another sip, then added: “Besides, you do that on your own. I have absolutely no influence on you.” She almost lost her hold on the styrofoam cup when the book was slapped against her shoulder.

“You are so full of it.”

Rubbing her shoulder, she sighed: “Oh … probably. Still, what’s the harm in trying?”

“Trying what?”

She put the cup down: “The doctors aren’t always right. They don’t know everything. It’s your life. You want kids? Then keep trying.”

“Sure. And sometime the stars will align, the impossible will happen.”

“They just might, you know.”

Changing the subject, the brunette asked: “Have you thought of a name for her?”


“I like. She’ll be something special.”

“What about you?”

“I’m not going to …”

“You are. What’s the name of your first son going to be?”

“I … I’ve always liked ‘Keith.’ Seems like a good name.”

“He’s your son. It will be.”


A wave of a hand before it picked up the cup again and she looked inside: “You’ll have a kid. Probably a few of them. You’ll see them grow up, raise families, and make you proud of them.”

“And you?”

She took a longer look: “The leaves say I’ll know her, love her, and be with her always.”

“They don’t say that! You’re making that up.”

“No, really they do say that.”

“Let me see.”

She handed the cup over and the brunette looked at the bottom of the cup.

“All I see is a mishmash of leaves and the dregs of tea into which you have put far too much sugar again, you dummy.”

“I happen to like sugar … a lot of it.”

Musing, she answered: “Too much of it.”

“So, what do you see?”

Swirling the cup around a bit, there was no answer for a time.


“I see a raven-haired girl who likes red. I see a cute looking brunette guy with her. I see the two of them in love, holding onto what their mothers taught them.”

“Sounds … nice.”

“It does.”

The cup was placed to the side.

“’Tera,’ huh?”

“Yep. ‘Keith,’ huh?”

“Uh-huh. You never know what can happen.”

“No. Really, you can’t.”

The brunette picked up her book and stood up: “Same time tomorrow? I have a class to get to.”

The blonde did, as well: “Sure. You have a good day and I’ll call you later.”

From far away, someone watching would see two teenagers embrace then go off in opposite directions. If the light was just right, one might see the brunette being followed by three small sparkles of light. If the light was just right, one might see the blonde being followed by one small sparkle of light as well.

The moment shared, the future to become, and the joy therein shared.

The future still to be.

May 08 2016

A Review of The Naughty Succubus: Part 1: The First Meeting by Becca Lusk

The Naughty Succubus: Part 1: The First Meeting by Becca Lusk

The Naughty Succubus: Part 1: The First Meeting by Becca Lusk

A review of a newly begun series by Becca Lusk called The Naughty Succubus this time on the Tale. I’ve often said that there are some story ideas that have something about them that I find interesting, but then the editing, or the dialogue, or sometimes the erotica takes away a lot of that.

The question of who someone really is cannot be explained by what they look like on the outside. It’s more important to know their souls and who other than a succubus would know them best of all? But when the reveal comes, what does it mean and where does it take the one who’s life isn’t really their own?

  • Title: The Naughty Succubus: Part 1: The First Meeting
  • Author: Becca Lusk
  • Length: 26 Pages
  • ASIN: B01F2XND8K
  • Publishing Date: May 2, 2016
  • This work at

The story tells of:

Trip Taylor was a ravishingly handsome young man. The only problem – he was a bit of a loner and had time talking to women. When Trip gets depressed to the point of being completely morose, he meets a mysterious stranger. She captivates him, and he realizes that he loses all grip on reality when he is with her. But who is she? What’s her name? He doesn’t know, she only tells him what to call her. She seems to know him from before, but where did he meet her? Will she ravish him? Will anything be left of him after she is done?

Trip goes out for a night with his friends and then, before long, gives up to go home. Along the way, an encounter with a seductress turns into something unexpected, or it is really? Reality blurs sometimes and in the midst of being seduced, the seducer uncovers the truth that Trip never knew before.

Overall the work tells of the main character’s life, his lack of luck at finding love and then encountering a succubus named Krys who has her way with him and in doing so quite a lot of mystery is created about Trip, the main character, and Krys, who seems to know him intimately.

There isn’t a lot told about Krys in the story really other than her appearance, both in their first encounter and then when she reveals her true form. There’s nothing about her past, what she wants, nor how she comes to know of Trip. It is mainly setting up the series in asking the question of Krys and who Trip really is.

This is a little bit of a surprise as by the end of the work, everything we seem to know about Trip is brought into question. The ending suggests that Krys knows something more, there’s a reason why she’s appeared to Trip now and the last lines of the work end in a cliff hanger that seems to suggest that story, when it is told, will be a complicated thing by far.

Krys seduces Trip in a wonderful way, mainly told from Trip’s perspective, and overall I liked her attitude, personality, and her eventual reveal as a succubus works well for her. There’s a hint of succubus mind control, a bit of a transformation aspect as well. Much of the erotic heat in Krys having her way with Trip is very hot and I enjoyed most of that.

However, there are a few moments in the erotica which have things occur that were slightly cringe worthy, most in how things happened, and how really odd and, for the most part, impossible, some of the moments were. That’s not to say there wasn’t heat, there was, but reading through those moments brought me to a sudden stop as I tried to imagine what was happening and I just couldn’t suspend reality long enough to make that work for me.

The work needs more editing, mainly to correct several points at which odd words creep into the story. For example: “he saw her beautiful feel wearing high heel shoes.” This happens a number of times and it creates a bit of a stumble in the story. As well, some of the dialogue reads odd, stiff, almost robotic in a way. There’s a lack of emotional context sometimes that needs to be there and isn’t. As well, some of the narrative reads oddly, moving from one tense to another, having some clunky sentence structure as well.

There is a story here, it’s interesting and seeing what comes next interests me. I just would have liked a little more editing to make the story come out better, to leave some of the unimportant details out and build on the ones that mattered.

Three out of five pitchforks.

The work needs another editing pass for the spelling mistakes, the somewhat wooden dialogue as well. Beyond that, some of the erotica was a bit too far over the top, even for a succubus to manage and the story lost me for a while in the midst of that. Still there is a mystery, actually several of them, to be told and that’s what interests me the most. Hopefully the next work in the series will expand on that and leave some of the questionable erotica to the side for the moment.



May 08 2016

A Review of Case of the Missing Succubus by Gerald Costlow

Case of the Missing Succubus by Gerald Costlow

Case of the Missing Succubus by Gerald Costlow

I do enjoy works in which the joy the author has in writing comes out clearly in the characters, the story, and the world they are creating. The thing kept in mind is making the characters tell the story, not the story tell the characters. By allowing them to “be” the story that places a certain set of things that must happen into play.

The main character needs to have something that keeps you in the story, there must be a mystery, an event, something of meaning to follow through on. But most of all, in the case of a work that is the foundation of a series, you must tell of the universe and its rules, but also of the past and what that means. It isn’t a simple thing to do, but when it is done well, it is an amazing read.

The story tells of:

Rose, the Witch of the Woods and High Priestess, is called upon by the Dean of White College to solve a murder mystery, find a missing girl, and get things under control before someone else winds up dead.

Her assistant, a shape-shifting coyote named Keyotie, relishes his reputation as the Trickster and greatly enjoys the company of females. But he also possesses a sharp nose and a certain talent for solving puzzles.

When they discover the missing girl is not human and other things are not exactly as they appear, their quest gets even more complicated.

Rose returns to the place where her life truly began. A place where magic is real, learned and held for each student. A pair of Succubi seem to have murdered, one of them is missing and the other tells nothing. But the real mystery is the world outside of the gates and the humans that they see everyday. Not all things are as they seem and not all of the problems to be solved are the ones made by magic alone.

Rose is a legend of her time, and a legend of the College she attended. Called by her teachers in need, she finds herself pulled in many directions by them, but also by the Goddess she represents. Nonetheless, Rose is not helpless. She is smart, she is powerful and she has a duty. It’s good to see a character like her, who doesn’t need help, is more than capable and can look after herself. But it is also good to see how she and Keyotie interact through the work.

Their relationship is complex, their pasts are murky and intertwined as well. But there is a respect, an understanding, and along the way the tension isn’t a sexual one, which so many authors would move towards, but rather two wills and personalities coming at a problem from their own perspectives and trying to solve it.

That problem is the Succubi twins named Holly and Molly, who I just adored. They aren’t stereotypical, they are not evil and I especially liked that they are the creation of the Goddess, for a purpose meant to battle evil in her world. Seeing how they are seen by others, in how they are misunderstood, held, and, sadly, brought to harm and threat, is somewhat sad to see. But how they deal with it, what they do to prove they are worthy of being in the College, that they deserved to be there, how they manage it. That story is every bit as important and powerful as that of Rose herself.

This is not a work of erotica, nor would any sort of erotica really have made any sense. It is a mystery at its core and unraveling that is an amazing ride that Rose, and the reader, are taken through. The writing is solid, the world has rules and history, and the characters from Rose to everyone else has a voice, a past, and a need that comes out well as the story is told.

As much as I adored this work, the ending was, I think, a bit rushed in how things came to a close. Not so much the explanation but the mulling over of the events by Keyotie at the end. They leave some interesting questions that I would have liked to have seen explored, not to mention to know more about both of the twins and not just the one that was seen through most of the story. Nonetheless, a wonderful work and well enjoyed.

Four and a half out of five pitchforks.

Well written, amazing characters, a view of Succubi that I think works well, and means something. The truth found is more than what is found and the future might be just as murky for Rose and Keyotie both. But that is what makes this so interesting and captivating…



May 07 2016

So that’s a Summoner’s War Succubus

I have never played the game Summoner’s War, but I am aware that there is a Succubus in the game and what she looks like. As there really isn’t a lot of good images of her, I was interested when I came across a YouTube that someone made of her…


If you cannot see the video here on the Tale, please try this link:

And here is a screenshot of the Summoner’s War Succubus herself.

Summoner's War Succubus

There’s a bit of an echo of Morrigan Aensland in her obviously. Those wings are unmistakably Morrigan and the style of her clothing is slightly more revealing than Morrigan’s is.

I find myself pondering someone finding a costume like this for Halloween, putting it on and being transformed for Halloween night to look like this…

There could be a story in that…



May 06 2016

A Review of Recruited by the Sexy Witches by Sally Fornia

Recruited by the Sexy Witches by Sally Fornia

Recruited by the Sexy Witches by Sally Fornia

I will be reviewing the third work in the Cult of the Futa Goddess series today on the Tale. I will say up front that I didn’t read the preceding works in the series, but that isn’t necessary to get an idea of what is going on in this story and who the characters are.

It takes some effort to being characters into a story and in doing so, one of the things that needs to be done is to describe them, tell who they are, and, if possible, what makes things different about them. Leaving out some of that tends to take a lot away from the rest of the story.

  • Title: Recruited by the Sexy Witches
  • Author: Sally Fornia
  • Length: 17 Pages
  • ASIN: B017BTYUG2
  • Publishing Date: October 28, 2015

The story tells of:

Right after her hot, steamy initiation in the Order of the Futa goddess, who asserts her power through sexual pleasure, Hellen, the recently recruited witch, needs to become a recruiter herself. The candidate is Kaylee, the young new intern at the firm where she works, who is only nineteen years old!

Hellen and her witch friends, Lameia and Fand, who can switch their genders at will for maximum effectiveness, will approach Kaylee and introduce her to the coven –by way of introducing all kinds of things inside her!

But what they don’t know is that Kaylee is not what appears at first sight. Trying to get her join the coven is a dangerous thing, and they will realize that playing with sex as a force of darkness may have unexpected results!

Three witches got to a bar and find Kaylee there with her friends. A bit of magic, a statement of need, and then they draw Kaylee into their coven. But the thing is, when they find out that Kaylee is a Succubus, who will succumb first?

Being that this story falls after two previous works in the series, there are somethings that need to be explained, and are, which helped me to get into the story, understand why things were happening and what the point of the story was. However, while that part helped, the actual focus on story was somewhat pushed to the side for the sake of the erotica that comes otherwise.

Kaylee is the succubus of the work, but she isn’t really described in a lot of detail as to what she looks like as a succubus, save for her eyes and fingernails. Beyond that, nothing is said as to how, if any, she changed otherwise. Kaylee also mentions that she “doesn’t know how to control it”, meaning her succubus powers and that’s all well and good, but at the same point Kaylee seems to have more control over the situation than the witches do. If not some “action” with a broomstick things might have been more interesting than they turn out to be.

The dialog is a little strange at times, almost silly on occasion. Some of the transformations mentioned would have been nice to see as more than a sentence, they peeked my interest even though the story really didn’t tell much of them. The erotica is isn’t too hot really once Kaylee’s true self appears and when that happens, the story rushes towards a conclusion in a mad rush.

I think there is a lot of room in the work to add to the story, to layer on, perhaps, more “danger” from Kaylee, a longer “battle” and, if possible, to tell more about Kaylee herself, what she looks like as a Succubus and what she can really do. As things are now, it reads too thin, needing more and should be for all of the openings in the work to expand on the story and characters.

Two and a half out of five pitchforks.

Kaylee is a succubus, and that is what she is. But the story doesn’t really expand on that for the sake of getting to the erotica. A bit more time spent on telling Kaylee’s story among all else that happened I think would have helped things a lot.



May 06 2016

A Review of Incubus Seduction by Lyra Valentine

Incubus Seduction by Lyra Valentine

Incubus Seduction by Lyra Valentine

A review of the first work in a new series called Witches Boone by Lyra Valentine today which has a rather different sort of incubus appear as one of the main characters. The story itself is interesting, certainly a bit different, and as the opening into this series it works well. But there’s a little something missing among all of the erotica. Sometimes a twist in the telling leaves one wanting.

There are being in the universe that have but one thought, one reason for their existence. Sometimes that means they will do just about anything to have what they want, sometimes it means something less. Telling that story can have a lot of heat within, but a turn in the ending can take away so much of the heat and leave something quite cold behind.

  • Title: Incubus Seduction
  • Author: Lyra Valentine
  • Length: 24 Pages
  • Publishing Date: April 21, 2016
  • This work at

The story tells of:

Tabby Boone, owner and head witch of Abby Normal Witchery, needs to replace some stolen supplies before she can cast fortunes for her next customer. With her usual supplier out of town, she finds herself ransacking a grave in the middle of the night.

Only, she isn’t alone. She chances upon a new mausoleum and decides to double her bounty for the night. Instead of finding the skeleton she expects, she enters to see an opulent suite that rivals any in Vegas. And a tall, dark, and broodingly sexy incubus demon.

Incubi will turn their victims into mindless zombies, and Tabby can’t let the world suffer that fate. Offering her curves for the fight for humanity, can she top and tame the demon before he makes her his own?

Tabby goes looking for things she needs to work her spells. Finding what she needs, she feels like someone is watching her. Going one step too far means she has attracted the attention of an incubus, and now Tabby finds that she’s got a hard problem to deal with.

The work is, for the most part, a hot flash of erotica with a good deal of story leading up to it. There is a fair amount of time spent telling Tabby’s story, explaining her world, and why she’s in search of the things she is. A scattering of humour here and there was nice and overall the tone of the story was playfully fun.

The incubus, who is never named, is interesting in that while his tone, needs and focus are somewhat stereotypical, his actual form isn’t. He is something more than a sprit, something less than what one expects an incubus to be. His powers of shifting reality are unique and how Tabby is ensnared by him works really well I thought.

The erotica is a slow thing to develop, taking a lot of time for the incubus to seduce Tabby, draw her into his gasp and that worked well. When the actual battle for who overcomes who turns that corner from seduction into something close to the incubus dominating Tabby, the erotica becomes a little less. Tabby’s experiences, her reactions, her coming closer and closer to the edge is very hot, but the incubus slips away from being seductive to demanding and that took something away.

The ending is somewhat abrupt and part of that comes from the illusion created being torn away in an instant and revealing what actually was happening. At that moment the heat was taken away from the story. But then the work comes to a close in the next few lines and as such the impact is lessened, if slightly so.

The ending has a little bit of a promise in it for Tabby, one that would be interesting to see unfold. Perhaps the incubus will come to her again through another means and that might tell more about the incubus than he is simply a being that wants sex above all else.

Good heat, the characters have life, needs, and passion. I would have liked the incubus to be more than a sex fiend, perhaps the idea of him creating “sex zombies” could have been explored somehow. There’s a good story at the core of this work, I wish some of the open ended questions had been answered. Perhaps the next work in the series will allow for more character development and storytelling to match the erotica.

Three and a half out of five pitchforks.

A cute hot flash with just enough story to hold things together. It’s a shame that the author went a little too far in the last page and shattered the illusion they created, and not giving the incubus a name seems a shame as well. Tabby is interesting, the incubus as well and the series begins well. Hopefully the series can build upon this going forwards to develop the characters further rather than just be series of snapshot erotica.