Mar 24 2017

A Review of To Feed A Succubus by De’Vaughn Brathwaite

To Feed A Succubus by De'Vaughn Brathwaite

To Feed A Succubus by De’Vaughn Brathwaite

The thing about hot flashes that involve Succubi is, of course, that they usually involved not a lot of plot, little in the way of character development for the sake of having the succubus do things to the other character or characters.

That can mean falling into a story with no real drive save the sex, no real personalities save the sex… In other words, the story is all about the sex and nothing more. But adding a little quirk to the characters, making them be more than sex toys, or a Succubus’ meal, goes a long way to making a hot flash something more.

The work tells the story of:

In what was supposed to be another boring day for you, you are visited by a creature most beautiful and mysterious, and she intends to spend her night with you…

A young man daydreams about his perfect girlfriend and attracts a Succubus looking for a snack. Desiree thinks he looks delicious and what comes next will be quite satisfying for her.

This work is a hot flash for the most part, though there is a good deal of character development for the main character and as well for Desiree, the Succubus of the story. There’s background, a reason for the two characters to meet and Desiree’s delight in finding her “snack” has a lot of teasing humour that gave her character some needed depth, making her more than a sex toy which happens too often.

The erotica takes some time to develop, Desiree plays with him, teasing, seducing and as a whole being a delightfully naughty Succubus character. Her powers, her needs are explored and as that happens there’s a running commentary by her that, at many points, I couldn’t help but giggle over.

There are issues however in this work. it is a hot flash, which is a shame really as there’s something about Desiree that demands a longer story about her. Beyond that, telling more about her “snack”, his fantasies at the beginning of the story, really asks that Desiree do all of the things he’s been dreaming of. The idea of the two of them playing Dungeons and Dragons is really delightful to me. That could be amazingly hot and delicious as a story.

The author did spend time telling something of both characters, but once the erotica begins that gets pushed aside and when the story is over, there’s a hint that something more could happen, but doesn’t. The ending is very quick, to the point and after all else that was a bit disappointing.

Most of all this work needs a serious editing pass. There are issues with tense, a number of spelling mistakes as well get in the way of the heat and storytelling. The dialogue needs some work. Speaking Desiree’s dialogue out loud sounds like she’s almost talking like a recording at some points, going through the motions. More heat in her words, and his, would be a good thing.

Still, I liked Desiree in that she’s not evil, not cruel. She’s fulfilling a fantasy and she’s really very good at doing so. While the story holds things together, there needs to be more heat, more erotica than porn scene here and there. Again, there’s promise here, but it doesn’t develop as much as I think it could have. I found myself wishing the author had taken the time to tell more about them both.

Three out of five pitchforks.

A hot flash that manages a little character development and a little plot along the way. The work needs another editing pass to make it better, but there’s promise here if the author would take this from a hot flash into a larger story. Desiree is interesting, if a bit odd as a succubus. But she’s also not stereotypical, she isn’t evil, or seems to be, and I liked that most of all.

 

Tera

Mar 24 2017

A Review of Seduced by a Succubus by Lucille Grey

Seduced by a Succubus by Lucille Grey

Seduced by a Succubus by Lucille Grey

The thing about a work in which there is a succubus character, is that leaving that character as a shadow, an incomplete thought as a whole, takes away a number of opportunities for storytelling. It’s not really enough for the character to speak a few short sentences and not much more. It’s more bothersome when their focus is on sex with another character, but there’s never a moment to peer beneath her form into who they are underneath.

It’s telling half a story, one side of a conversation, and leaving all else unsaid. Summing up their reasoning for their actions in a single sentence at the end of the story is, overall, really disappointing.

The work tells the story of:

Shy college freshman, Cody, isn’t expecting anything exciting to happen his first year at school.

It comes as a total shock when he meets the ethereally gorgeous and mysteriously sexy Lily. He’s totally smitten, and will do anything to please her…little does Cody know, Lily is a sneaky, sultry succubus preying on horny college boys and feeding off of their sexual energies.

Cody’s life has begun anew. A new town, a college to explore offers a chance to find the unexpected. Encountering Lily, he finds himself needing to be with her, allowing her to do as she wishes. But with that comes the feeling of losing something important to Lily and Lily wants it all.

The work is an erotic hot flash surrounded by quite a lot of character building for Cody, the focus of the story. As such, there’s a lot told about his past, his hopes and the day to day minutia of being at college. At times this tends to get into a lot of detail which bogged things down quite a lot. At the same time, once he encounters Lily, Cody seems to be sleepwalking through the story, losing much of what made him interesting and devolving things towards the erotica involving Lily.

That erotica, overall, has some heat, but it’s a bit glossed over. Some of the scenes are dream-like, some clearly point out that Lily is a succubus, and others just are very rushed in how thing unfold. The climax, in many cases, loses much of the heat created for the sake of ending the scene and moving onwards to the next awkward moment or the next encounter with Lily.

Lily, the succubus of this work, is a mystery. There’s little told about her form, she speaks in clipped tone and phrases as well. She’s not developed as a character, popping in and out of the story just long enough to ensnare Cody, pull him into a sexual encounter with her, and then vanish into thin air. That’s a shame because there are three points at which there seems to be some story to be told about her, but they don’t go anywhere. One example of this seems to be a roommate of Lily’s appears at the start of the work, but never returns. It leaves the question of who she is, if she’s real or a succubus or something more.

Questions about about Lily, save of course that she delights in entwining herself with Cody, pleasing him and then taking what she needs. That’s the problem with this work in that Cody’s development as a character is strong enough to make the reader care about him, but for Lily, there’s nothing to hold onto. There’s no past, no present, no moments between her appearances to show something more about her. It’s a lost chance to tell more of a story, to give life to her character beyond “just a succubus” which seems to be the overall tone.

There are a few small word errors and one or two spelling mistakes, but that didn’t take anything away from the story. What did was the lukewarm erotic scenes, the hints of story not followed and the loss of telling more about Lily as a character. By the end of the work, it felt like there was something important missing.

The ending was, sadly, completely expected and was telegraphed from the beginning. Beyond that, the ending itself was abrupt and offhanded in how things came to a close. Summing up Lily with a single sentence to end the story didn’t do anything for me, nor did it really explain anything about her. It did offer a path towards another story, but even then that’s done really half-heartedly.

Two and a half out of five pitchforks.

There’s really no character development of Lily, either as a character or for that matter a succubus. The hints she is a succubus are rather oblique and if the book title, or summary for that matter, didn’t expressly say she was a succubus, it would be easy to overlook some of the hints given.

As such, Lily is a mystery from beginning to end, there are some dangling plots left unresolved as well. There’s a very easy path forwards towards another work, which might be more focused on Lily, who she is, where she came from and so on. The work doesn’t focus on sex scenes exclusively, but while Cody’s character is explored, Lily, the other half, never has her due.

 

Tera

Mar 23 2017

Succubi Image of the Week 479

There are certain pieces of art which, for me, define a character. There are those works of art which bring to life the words which gave that character a place in one’s thoughts. I have spoken many times about Myserra, who is the creation of the author John Dylena, many times before. Today a piece of art for the Succubi of the Week that I have always adored for how much of her personality appears here…

Myserra by Enijoi

Myserra by Enijoi

This portrait of Myserra is by the artist Enijoi, and you can find the original page on DeviantArt with this art here, and this artist’s page can be found here.

When you read the Succubus’ Sub series, there’s quite a few things about Myserra that appear many times over. Her eyes, the little knowing smile, her one particular clothing choice which is quite perfect for her.

Here in this portrait, the physical aspects of her form are clearly given a wonderful expression, but it is, in fact, her expression, the little smile, the sparkle in her eyes. How she is posed, the mystery and power in her character that makes this work one of my most adored and cherished works of Myserra…

There is another, but that one I am so very biased over… That’s for another time perhaps…

 

Tera

Mar 22 2017

It’s Red, but it isn’t a Hot Costume by any means…

Adult Red Hot Devil CostumeThere are some things one can describe a costume by that there isn’t really anything to question about it. For example, a red costume is, usually, red. However, the use of the word ‘hot’ is very uncertain, at times ill advised, and can be almost comical honestly. What’s more bothersome is when the best thing about such a costume is that it is on clearance. Which means it won’t be around for much longer… I hope.

This is called the Adult Red Hot Devil Costume and… well, it is red, and that’s about all that can be said about this costume, which sells for $13 US.

The horns, pitchfork, necklace and shoes are not included, not that they help this disaster any.

The thing that bothers me the most is that this “costume” is the dress and nothing else. So is it really a “devil costume” or is it just a really poor looking dress with a lousy hem line?

There’s nothing sexy here, and to ask if there is a glimmer of seductiveness would be a waste of time honestly. This just looks awful, does nothing for the model in this image, and based on the rather forced smile she has, I think it isn’t all that comfortable either.

Nothing can be done to improve this, other than somehow burning it for warmth.

Zero pitchforks out of five.

Awful isn’t it?

 

Tera

Mar 21 2017

A Review of Vinyl by Julio Mario Espinosa Jimenez

Vinyl by Julio Mario Espinosa Jimenez

Vinyl by Julio Mario Espinosa Jimenez

It’s difficult to write, more so, it’s difficult to tell a story when one can’t quite put onto the page the story you are trying to tell. That can be over grammar, tone, or the characters themselves. But the hardest thing is trying to tell a story and not really have the words come out right for another reason.

There are many forms to power, evil and need. Some are basic. some are complex, but mixed in are the small things that turn the good to the bad. Not always is there a good ending, and sometimes that ending is shockingly abrupt and dark.

The work tells the story of:

On his birthday Mark is going to receive a gift that is going to change his life forever; an old vinyl with a single song that summons a powerful demon that will turn him into its slave.

Mark comes into possession of an old record that brings a succubus into his life. But things aren’t as he expects, being drawn into her plots and plans both willingly and not so. Inspiration can lead to darkness and the succubus is more than willing to lead Mark into her own.

The story is, at its core, a horror story. There’s really no erotica nor is there really much time spent outside of the horror itself. The core idea, the journey that Mark travels and what he creates, is a really good idea and perhaps in telling that story, along with that of the record, and Teal, the succubus of the work, there could be more here.

The issue is, regrettably, that this is a very difficult work to read for many reasons. One of the major ones is that there’s no quotes around the dialogue, rather the author places a “-” at the beginning of each. As well, there’s some confusion about who’s talking as well. But most of all, it’s the use of the English language here that causes the most difficulty of all.

It seems as if this author isn’t a native English speaker in that the dialogue has words missing from it, the narration is short, disjointed and very hard to follow much of the time. I’d almost call the narration “blunt” in that actions are told in a few short words much of the time. That’s a shame because, as I’ve said, the idea is a really good one, but the language used doesn’t make the story flow, the characters have depth or the plot to move well overall. It feels like there was never really much in the way of editing here, and that’s a real shame.

The succubus of the work, Teal, is evil in many ways, that being wrapped in a lovely package with long nails and teeth that take hold of Mark as the story unfolds. But there’s really little told of her until the very last few pages where some revelations are given, the reasons for what she wanted are finally understood. Like so many of the other characters, including Mark, her dialogue is hard to follow, her character is really two-dimensional and in the end there’s not as much told, or offered, as there could have been.

The author would be well served to have this work edited, to improve the flow of the story, the depth of the characters and most of all, create a clearer and more involved narrative than there is. The core idea is, really, interesting and I liked it quite a lot. But getting through the story, to enjoy it, I really couldn’t manage and that’s the real shame here.

Two out of five pitchforks.

There’s a lot of editing needed to make the story better than it is. The overall idea is really very good, but it’s very difficult to parse the story and understand the dialogue. Overall, the story is just written very oddly, the dialogue is abrupt and doesn’t quite sound right overall. There’s a feeling that this author isn’t a native English speaker and perhaps having someone edit this work that understands the nuances would be a good idea.

I think a couple of editing passes, some expansion of the storytelling, and clearer dialogue would make this a much better read. As things are, there’s just too many issues for the story to really come alive, or the characters to be fully explored.

 

Tera

Mar 21 2017

A Review of Oops An Incubus Got Me Pregnant! by Vanessa E. Silver

Oops An Incubus Got Me Pregnant! by Vanessa E. Silver

Oops An Incubus Got Me Pregnant! by Vanessa E. Silver

There are far too many works that are short, lack direction and are missing a lot of things. Poor dialogue is a problem, a story without purpose isn’t much of a story to be told. But most of all, leaving the characters with no soul, no life means there can be nothing good that comes with the closing of the story.

Sex alone isn’t a story, suggesting there is more is a start, but not paying that off within the pages is a mistake. Focusing on the characters, what makes them tick is the basis on which all else is told. When that’s cast aside, then there are issues.

The work tells the story of:

Claudia is happy that she has moved into her new apartment to mark a fresh start to her life, even despite hearing talk of a ghost already inhabiting her new home. But she is not put off in the slightest, thinking that any mention of the supernatural is absurd.

However, Claudia will soon find her beliefs tested when she comes face to face with the seductive Lord Malcolm Greyjoy the resident incubus who lived over a century and half ago and is now determined to make Claudia his completely.

Claudia tries to at fight against the powerful pull she feels towards Malcolm, but when desire overwhelms them both she finds herself surprisingly very willing to surrender to all of his demands!

Claudia has a new home, but it comes with a past. That past comes to haunt her and when the truth comes out, she finds herself at the tender mercies of an incubus with a single desire.

The work is a hot flash that really isn’t much of one. The heat is muted, the erotica is more porn than it is erotica and even then, it did nothing for me. There isn’t really a connection between Claudia and Malcolm to speak of, and whatever there is, doesn’t get explored very much, if at all. There’s more focus on the connection between Claudia and a friend of hers, both in story and time spent, than with Malcolm.

Malcolm, the incubus of the work, is rather two dimensional, wanting one thing from Claudia and beyond that his character doesn’t develop, become more, or have much that interested me. In a similar vein, Claudia’s backstory is skimmed over and that never should have happened. It leaves a lot of questions behind needing answers to explain what was going on here. But in the rush to get to the erotica, beyond Claudia’s telephone calls, that never happens.

Then there is the problem with the dialogue. It simply sounds wrong in so many ways. It is stilted, odd, and it just doesn’t fit. It’s very much like the characters are reading from a script and doing that badly at times. This takes much away as well, and any intimacy between Claudia and Malcolm gets submerged beneath, not being about to come out.

The ending is, most of all, a disappointment. The work comes to a screeching halt, with no actual meaning to the ending. Malcolm is flat and Claudia’s needs are ignored, the pair’s moment only serving to make the work’s title be true, but otherwise it means next to nothing.

The work needs a serious editing, to being the characters to life, to bring some kind of plot, and to make the ending make more sense than it does. It’s a shame considering that both main characters could be something more than they are, they never get the chance.

One and a half pitchforks out of five.

The dialogue needs work, the story needs that as well. While this is a hot flash, there isn’t heat, there isn’t much of a story either. It’s confused, lost and needing direction and plot. The ending leaves a lot to be desired and most of all the title just screams that the story isn’t erotica, it’s porn. That’s the real shame here, there could be something made of this, but not as this story is.

 

Tera

Mar 20 2017

Wait By TeraS

There wasn’t much time for writing this week once again. As such I worried that the story this week is another one of the very short ones that perhaps don’t always manage to say everything that I want them to. But my heart assures me that, as long as I share what is on my mind, and enjoy doing it, every story is worth the …

 

Wait
By TeraS

 

Seasons change as time passes: Spring gives way to Summer, then Fall and the snows of Winter. Eventually, the winter snows bring the world to pause, to rest, to a time where life gathers itself in anticipation of Spring’s return.

But, before the Spring can be, all must wait.

For a certain red-tail of the Realm, waiting is a difficult thing to manage. Her mind constructs lists upon lists; thoughts bind themselves to thoughts. By the time the middle of winter has come and gone, Tera has written out several notebooks, using them to fill the time between the moments that were and the moments to be.

But before those moments can be, even a queen must wait.

Those notebooks—with red covers, of course—tell of many things. Some hold fragments of stories to be told, when the time is right, when the moment allows and the words begin to place themselves into the open. In those fragments are worlds unseen by other eyes: places of adventure, places in intrigue, places of romance, places of mystery all waiting their turn to be shared.

But before those tales can be, they must wait.

In other books bound in red, her handwriting—as difficult to read as she thinks it is—tells of the pleasures of seduction, the moments of love she has seen, the entwining of souls, the delights in the moment of wonder found. Every loop and curl, every crossed “t” and dotted “i” carries the potential for amazing arousal and flawless fulfillment.

But before that bliss can be, the moments must wait.

More pages held with red offer glimpses of memories: the love of her mother barely known, then lost, of another mother cherished and missed now more dearly than she can explain. Each recollection connects her to her family, to her tailself, to those absent from the Realm whom she wished would return.

But before the tears and laughter can flow, her emotions must hold and wait.

As she looks out upon the snows for the first few bits of green to begin to show from beneath the white that has been there for so long, there is still another notebook with her. A page is open, her pen resting there.

The moment holds, for both must wait.

She looks at the stack of books, the words written over the deepest time of the year, the words calling out from where they await, anxious for her to see them once more, to take those words, the moments, the tears, the love and laughter, and share them with the world. They would linger as long as required, always silent, but never entirely patient.

How much longer would they have to wait?

The snows will not be there much longer. The Winter has begun, grudgingly, to give in to the Spring. The snows are going away once more, the warmth of the new spring is just around the corner, calling to all. The time of waiting is coming to a close again, offering the beginning of life made anew.

She need not, should not, but she still waits.

A thought comes to her. The page takes her thoughts as they flow from the tip of the pen once more: thoughts of the time spent waiting, the moments waiting, the life waiting. There is a melancholy in her smile, her words upon the page. She pauses in the midst of a thought, her hand stilled.

She finds herself once more, once again, pausing to wait.

Setting the pen down on the table beside her, she closes the notebook, winding a red ribbon around the words written, cradling the precious thing in her hands. This book is done, the words within must wait for their moment as do so many of her words, thoughts, tears, loves, and seductions.

The words whisper that she shouldn’t wait.

The Queen of the Realm looks across the room to see her heart waiting patiently for his Dear One to come to her choice. In his hands he holds a cup of tea, and she suddenly realizes that he’s placed a cup for her by the stack of red notebooks.

She knows that she shouldn’t make him wait.

He, of course, has all the time in the world for her. The indecision is something he knows well: so few have seen her moments of hesitancy, but he knows them well. He has seen her wait for the words to be right, even though she can’t let herself believe they will never be so. Since he never notices time pass when he’s with her, he has no idea how long he spends waiting for the inspiration to come and make the words be what she wants them to be.

But the tea really shouldn’t wait . . . not much longer.

Hesitantly, she offers the book in her hands to her heart. He is always, but always, the first to hold her words, where she believes he sees her flaws, her mistakes, and how awful her words really are—though he has only ever found wondrous stories. And so he accepts her gift in the same way he has always done.

He’s waited for her gift shared, always willing to wait.

The ribbon unwound, the book opened, she now waits for his thoughts about all for which she had made him wait. In this time, in the moments that come, however, there is a truth she knows most of all.

She is willing to wait.

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