I’ve reviewed several works by Zayna Noble, and this review will be of the third work in the series called A Succubus for the Holidays. You can find my reviews of the prior two works in the series here and here on the Tale. I’ve had several issues with this series, and in this, the third work, those issues really get in the way of telling the story, but beyond that, there’s a bigger problem. That’s one of offering plots and then dumping them for the sake of moving onto the erotica, which is a shame.
Following the review of the third work, I will be reviewing the series as a whole as well, and I have a number of thoughts about that too.
- Title: A Succubus for Valentine’s
- Author: Zayna Noble
- Length: 18 Pages
- ASIN: B01NC3HSHV
- Publishing Date: February 6, 2017
- This work in Kindle Format at Amazon.com
The work tells of:
It’s been a few months since Neil transformed himself into an Incubus, a demon of lust and sex. The newly transformed demon and his succubus girlfriend, Bianca, have been keeping warm with their new routine. Sex for breakfast and sex for dinner, and again for dessert!
However, coping with their permanent change has taken a toll on their bodies. They still have to disguise themselves in front of their friends. As the month wears on, they determine it’s time to come out of their demonic closet. While there are mixed reactions, one friend has a recommendation: Celebrate Valentine’s Day without sex!
Taking the challenge to heart, Neil and Bianca set out to get each other a thoughtful gift that couldn’t possibly be used for something naughty. Though with their new demonic instincts, what will they find, and how will they twist it?
It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s time for Neil and Bianca to come clean with their friends and reveal the truth. They hope for the best, as much as they can, but being an incubus and a succubus can cause problems. Sex is wonderful, but then it can’t be everything can it?
The story is more of a reflection upon what’s happened to Neil and Bianca with a little bit of angst from their friends and the attempt at trying to come up with a Valentine’s Day that isn’t all about sex. It sounds like a good outline, and at times there are some points where it well could be. However there are problems.
The story rushes from one moment to the next, really never pausing long for anything to develop or some expansion on the characters, both major and minor. There’s one scene of conflict that offers something, and it could have been a real change overall, but it vanishes as quickly as it started, leaving really nothing but some questions that were never answered.
At the same time, there’s more focus on Neil and Bianca being entwined with each other and having sex in every way possible. The scenes tend towards making them both caricatures of themselves, bordering on being almost stereotypical sex crazed beings. There is some intimacy, but it doesn’t last long before the pair are immersed in what can really only be described as porn movie level erotica.
The work is very short as well, which doesn’t allow for the hints of side-plots to go anywhere at all. The intimacy which appeared in the prior works between Neil and Bianca is but a flash here, seeming to say that their personalities have been deeply changed by becoming what they are now. It’s a bit telling that even in what seems to e a normal conversation, the pair can’t help but have wild sex together.
The work needs to slow down, to tell the story before going off and plunging into the erotica. That alone would have made this a much better read on its own. More so, the story sort of falls to a stop at the end, not really seeming to have a point, or purpose when the tale is done. There’s something lacking in the telling, the characters and the work overall. That, I think, comes to just not having Bianca and Neil be who they are and not the beings of sex they’ve become.
Three out of five pitchforks.
The work goes by in a rush, there are so many plots left dangling and that disappointed me the most. It’s a shame, honestly, because there’s story here to be told, but it gets lost in just having Neil and Bianca having sex almost constantly. That’s not interesting overall and what could have been interesting turns out to be fleeting and lost well before the story closes.
For the series as a whole, the author needs to develop their characters and the stories more. Given that, there’s something good here, but it can’t be seen for the overwhelming levels of porn level erotica that have taken over things.
It’s very much a mixed bag of story telling. The single most constant thing is all of the characters dropped in, then lost. There are many of them who are, honestly, a lot more interesting than Neil and Bianca at times, especially when they both turn into characters are are just slightly more than sex demons.
That’s a real problem for me because in the moments before the transformations, both are amazingly interesting, have personality and meaning. Following their becoming an incubus and a succubus, there’s just something missing within each of them which then remains throughout all else. It’s like a chuck on their character is just removed and it doesn’t work for me.
Beyond that issue, the stories go past in a rush, the third work more so than the others. Sex alone, no matter how well told, as a story gets boring really quickly. This didn’t need to happen really as there are so many minor characters that pop in and out who could have been part of a larger story adding depth to the series overall.
I’d like to see more of Neil and Bianca, but something beyond them in the bedroom all of the time, or finding new ways to satisfy their urges. There’s more to them than the sex, it was there at the beginning and once Neil bemoans this. I feel like that’s something that could be explored. Collected as a single work, the flaws in the series are that much more present and that just takes away quite a lot from what otherwise I think could have been something really interesting.
But the sex gets in the way.
For the series overall, I’ll give it three out of five pitchforks.
There is a story here, but it can’t breathe for the rush in the storytelling and the focus upon the main characters being entwined together. That could have worked, but sadly it really didn’t all that well.