May 29 2015

A Review of Succubus Rising by Camdra Abott

Succubus Rising by Camdra Abott

Succubus Rising by Camdra Abott

The start of another series for review today on the Tale. I find it difficult to read something where the story is written such that the reader is placed in the role of the main character. The problem I have is accepting what that characters does and being made to accept that it was reasonable for them to do so.

If there is reason, explanation, consideration, then it is possible to accept them doing some very questionable things. When there isn’t, and the story doesn’t seem to flow well, or make sense at times, then there is a problem that needs to be addressed.

  • Title: Succubus Rising
  • Author: Camdra Abott
  • Length: 64 Pages
  • Format: eBook
  • ASIN: B00WCIZ51M
  • Publishing Date: April 18, 2015
  • This work at Amazon.com

The work tells the story of:

A young mage becomes embroiled in a fight for survival in a world turned hostile. Making a pact with a succubus and gathering a small group of survivors he fights and fucks his way through the remains of his world.

As a whole, the summary of this work that the main character ‘fucks their way’ through the story is completely accurate. There is the barest wisp of a plot and characters in the work which are completely overwhelmed by the rather poorly written sexual moments that appear.

Really, the hottest parts of the work, erotica-wise, are when the main Succubus of the work, Agrat Bat Mahlat, appears, has her way with the main character and then… sort of vanishes into the background for the rest of the story. There are other Succubi that appear, who are not named, but those appearances are rather flat and rote in how they are told. The coming into this world I like, description-wise, but beyond that there isn’t much heat or interest for me. As well, to a point, they appear to be somewhat stereotypical in appearance, though there is a hint of something more that should have been explored more in the story, but wasn’t.

The work does not read well, mainly because, over and over again ‘You’ are described as doing something then ‘You’ are described doing something else before ‘You’ go off and have ‘Your’ way with every woman ‘You’ encounter. The entire work continues in this vein and after a while that just becomes very painful to read. I don’t feel like the author did themselves any good in writing in this way. It would have been much more effective to give the main character a name, write from their perspective and in doing so, make a connection with the reader.

As well, there isn’t a real plot through the work so much as there are a series of sex scenes linked together with the main character moving from place to place. Past that, the attitude of the main character, for me, makes them dis-likeable from almost the first thing they do. That shouldn’t happen because what is the point to reading a story when you have to struggle with the events, don’t care about the characters, well, save for Agrat, but that’s another point altogether, and by the end one is left wondering what was the point of the story in the first place?

The work needs a lot of editing, better focus, more story, and even that isn’t quite enough for the focus on the erotica which needs it’s own improvements. It doesn’t have to be romance or anything like that, but it does have to, at some point, have some value to it.

The work ends with nothing really being resolved, many open doors to continue through, and a lot of questionable actions that lead to the ending which does really nothing. I have said many times in my reviews that story is important, characters matter, and if those two things connect, then the erotica is something special. I can’t say that here.

I’ll give this work one pitchfork out of five.

An interesting concept, but beyond that the work needs editing, focus, a reason for what happens most of all. ‘Just because’ isn’t a good enough reason to have something happen. The story comes in the details and this work doesn’t have them.

I will look for the following work in the series when it appears to see if the author improves on this work. I hope so.

 

Tera

May 29 2015

A Review of Her Incubus by Elizabeth Zanders

Her Incubus by Elizabeth Zanders

Her Incubus by Elizabeth Zanders

One of the things that bothers me the most is a summary about a work that offers what sounds like an interesting premise, with a storyline that seems like it could be quite a good read and then the story itself completely tosses that summery aside for a hot flash.

It’s not so much the hot flash that is a problem. it is that the author seems to have thought reading the summary would give enough background about the characters that actually telling about them, both of them, in the actual story, would be a waste of time.

It wouldn’t be. And they needed to.

  • Title: Her Incubus
  • Author: Elizabeth Zanders
  • Length: 8 Pages
  • ASIN: B00LXH4DXO
  • Publishing Date: July 17, 2014
  • This work at Amazon.com

The work tells the story of:

Alisha O’Connell has dreamed about her perfect man ever since she was old enough to know what she wanted in the opposite sex. Little did she know that her black-haired, blue eyed “dream man” is a fallen angel named Aidan, and he’s been waiting for the right time to come into her life and show her everything she’s been missing. Alisha doesn’t stand a chance of resisting him because Aidan is more than just a fallen angel, he’s got the powers of an incubus, too.

Alisha has been dreaming about her perfect man for a long time now. Making a wish that he was real makes him so and then she discovers that submitting to him is all that she could ask for… whatever he is.

As a whole the story concept, if you accept the summary as being the idea of the story, seems like a good one. Girl wishes for lover, lover appears, lover is a fallen angel slash Incubus and gives Alisha her first sexual encounter.

The problem is that who and what Aidan is never comes into play during the story. He magically appears in the shower with Alisha, and after a short moment of confusion on Alisha’s part, they have a sexual encounter in which Aidan takes control of things, makes Alisha submit to him, and then… the story ends.

While quite a lot about Alisha is told in the opening of the work, and she is told really very well, Aiden is… just there. He’s a means to an end with the personality to match and that, for me, was really disappointing. There isn’t much interplay between the two, there isn’t much in the way of any explanation of what Aiden is.

He just appears, promises to give Alisha everything she wants, then as he does so, demands a truth from her, which she succumbs to, and then after their climax the story comes to an end with a promise to close the work.

The work felt very rushed from the instant that Aiden appeared, and that’s a shame as the way he does so could have opened the story to more character development, more storytelling, more understanding about Aiden, why he was attracted to Alisha… just a lot more than a build up to a erotic shower scene and a short postscript.

I’m giving this work two and a half out of five pitchforks.

A story that started out well, but then lost its way for getting to the erotica. Connection the book summary to the actual story well is always a good idea and in doing so this could have been a lot more than eight pages.

Seriously.

 

Tera

May 28 2015

Succubi Image of the Week 384

Something quite a bit dominant today on the Tale for the Succubi of the Week. There’s a certain look that I think works for really dominant Succubi, or those that are if not Succubi then at least temptation in some way, shape or form… All you need to do, of course, is sign on the dotted line…

09 - Demon by W-Orks

09 – Demon by W-Orks

This work is called Demon and is by an artist on DeviantArt called W-Orks. The original page with this art is here and the artist’s page is here as well.

Overall I like the concept behind this image and how it all comes together, though I will say that her expression is a bit odd for me and takes something from the work that I can’t quite put my finger on. I like her choice of outfit, the shoes, her tail and I can live with her horns, they are a bit large I think, but then she’s less of a seductive Succubus and more of a negotiator for souls. Obviously she is very dominant, it seems like one of her pets… or conquests… is serving her in their own way.

The setting around her, the poster, the contract she is holding, the slightly 1950s wall poster feel to the entire work is very striking and it is something that I haven’t seen before which is what brought my attention to this art in the first place.

I only wish that she wasn’t quite so much a sourpuss in her expression…

 

 

Tera

May 27 2015

Perhaps a start to some Dark Succubus Desire as a costume?

Desire Dark Angel CostumeA slightly different costume this time on the Tale. I’ve been pondering how to mix up something as an option for a costume this year. I found this angel costume and… I wonder what I can do with it…

This is called the Desire Dark Angel Costume and it comes with a satin dress with embroidered wings on the bodice, a skirt with flowing organza and chiffon a gray and black halo headband and a pair of chiffon wings with wire support. Shoes not included of course and it sells for $175 US, though it has been on sale for less than that.

And, at least for me, I wonder about losing the halo, replacing it with some horns, black I think. A red wig, and a black tail. The shoes can stay as can the rest of the costume.

Sort of Tail in one of her moods perhaps? It’s actually an interesting thought for me at least as I haven’t really dressed up as my “other self” in some time.

Coming to think about this a little more, I am really starting to like the idea and I wonder why the costume designers didn’t give a more devilish option for this outfit…

I’ll have to try my hand at this I think.

I’ll give this, after some changes and alterations, three out of five pitchforks.

This could turn into something… Not sure quite what, but it could…

 

Tera

May 26 2015

A Review of Nice Guy by Mike Leon

Nice Guy by Mike Leon

Nice Guy by Mike Leon

Succubi are not always the central characters of a work. Sometimes they are passing characters, a shadow in the background, even a thought and not much more.

It is somewhat troubling when they are an afterthought, a means for theme in a story to continue, and the core of a character’s life to be brought to the fore for the umpteenth time. A single line of speech, a few words of description aren’t really much. Even if the succubus is given a name with that small taste, that isn’t really having a succubus in the story to any real extent.

  • Title: Nice Guy
  • Author: Mike Leon
  • Length: 10 Pages
  • ASIN: B00N1AVSXY
  • Publishing Date: August 24, 2014
  • This work at Amazon.com

The work tells of:

Tom has been friend-zoned his entire life, but he finally found the woman for him–and she’s a real scream.

Tom meets with a friend and she doesn’t really want anything more from him but being a friend. A rash decision turns that choice into something horrible that ends in ashes for all.

The story summary with this work is a bit misleading and considering that this work appears under the succubus keyword search, you might think that the succubus might be a core character in the story. In short she isn’t and honestly there isn’t really a good reason for her to be in this story other than for the irony that depends on it when the story comes to a close.

The succubus of the work, Mahalath, appears for exactly one page, speaks exactly one line of dialog, and with that single line the effects of the rest of the story, what Tom does and so on, and makes all of it meaningless. There isn’t a really good meaningful reason for Mahalath to be in this work other than for the sake of irony. While she is a succubus, looks like one, and would seem to be an interesting character if she had appeared towards the beginning of the work or even at some points through it, her appearance just adds nothing to the story.

What the story is, and consists of, is the self loathing and desperation that Tom has seen throughout his life and the desperate choice he makes as a result. It tells of a life that wants one piece of happiness in whatever way it can be managed, but has never been able to have that moment because Tom is a “nice guy” and in being so that means, at least from his point of view, that he is less of a man.

I didn’t like that honestly, the complete loss of self, of hope, of deciding that all he had left was a myth to turn to which he could make his own. In that comes the horror of the work, the things that Tom does to his friend Rebecca, the explanations be tells her, the final solution to his troubles that involves her. It is just an awful thing to watch unfold and that has, if not shock value, then it comes with a lot of stereotypes which I, again, do not like.

While the work is written well, the atmosphere of each scene is very detailed, the thoughts of Tom are clear and painfully so, the reactions of Rebecca are achingly sad, that’s not enough. There is no hope, no light, nothing that has any kind of positive aspect to it. The work is just a very dark, painful read, at least for me, and I didn’t enjoy it.

I’m giving this work two out of five pitchforks.

This isn’t a story about a succubus. It’s just a sad, sad story with a sadder ending which has not the impact it otherwise could have. There was really no reason for the succubus to appear, and it would have been a much more tragic and powerful work if she did not. The ending does not make this story and that just takes all of the rest of it and turns it into ashes.

 

Tera

May 26 2015

A Review of Succubus Duel by Amanda Knight

Succubus Duel by Amanda Knight

Succubus Duel by Amanda Knight

I understand why, sometimes, authors like to put a twist in a story. If that twist explains why things happened in the story, then that’s perfectly reasonable. Where I have a problem is when the twist is told in less than a paragraph, comes out of left field, and is not explained at all.

In doing so what was a story about the triumph of the heart, what seemed to end on a good and valid ending, gets wrecked and, at least for me, I feel cheated. A good story doesn’t need a single sentence to make it valid. It never really should.

  • Title: Succubus Duel
  • Author: Amanda Knight
  • Length: 43 Pages
  • ASIN: B00XKLCYAU
  • Publishing Date: May 12, 2015
  • This work at Amazon.com

The work tells the story of:

Paige is fighting for her husband’s soul as a Demonic Sex Demon appears before them and claims Conner’s life.

Can Paige submit herself to a mind game and win a duel between her and the powerful demon in a all-in sex contest.

But Paige has yet to realize who is the real monster…

Paige finds herself facing the succubus Evestriel who is bent on taking her husband Conner’s life. Learning all she can, she comes to conclusion there is one way to save him and she makes a deal with Evestriel. The battle begins, but the outcome is the question unanswered.

The work is, as a whole, very well written, the characters are strong, have their own stories and there’s some wonderful heat when the erotica appears. Billed as romance, there is a good deal of that appearing in the story as well. There’s so much to like about this work in so many ways, but then, the last two pages just take away all of the story and left me wondering.

Evestriel is the image of a succubus through the story. Sexually powerful, controlling, very strong willed, She has a purpose, intends to have what she wants and drives towards that. There is a hint of her true form from time to time, slightly stereotypical, but that’s not done in a way that takes away from her character.

Both Paige and Conner are fully fleshed out characters as well, there are quite a lot of foibles in each, they are in love, and it’s that love which Evestriel pushes against using lust and passion to try to overcome them. That battle, how it unfolds is an amazingly good story and I loved each and every moment because there was purpose to both sides of the battle, Conner being held between the two.

However, as I have said, it is the last two pages of the work that, for me, feel completely unnecessary. The reason as to why Evestriel was after Conner makes sense from her perspective and I can accept that reason as it stands in the work. The problem is that the reason is suddenly dropped into the midst of the work, is not shown more than in passing, and leaves a really bad taste for me in the story. It feels, in many ways, as if the author decided to throw the twist into the story for the sake of doing so. For me, it doesn’t work.

If it had been explained more, if the reason would have been told more than a split second of realization by Paige and then the story closes, I would have accepted that more. As it stands here, I just felt the journey was not worth the ending. Something better needs to be here to make this work what it should be.

I’ll give this work three out of five pitchforks.

If the ending would have been explained, drawn out, something more than the single page that it comes to, then I would have liked this a lot more. But I can’t really because the ending just felt like an afterthought once all of the good in the story was done.

 

Tera

May 25 2015

Another Nothing Monday…

There’s nothing today on the Tale once again. This does seem to be going on far too much of late, but sometimes real life just conspires to see to it that you just can’t think, or feel, the story that you’d like to tell.

The stories will return, in time, I’ll get there…

 

Tera

146/5481st...2040...145146147...160180...Lst