A review of the fourth work In the Divine Sex Inc series this time on the Tale and it’s one that comes with some disappointment. It’s not enough to tell a story alone, it’s important to make sure the story can tell the story well.
Getting what you want isn’t the be all and end all. It’s more important to figure out what you can do and how to do that well.
- Title: Risk and Reward
- Author: Pen Ghost
- Published By: Amazon Digital Services
- Length: 9 Pages
- Format: eBook
- ASIN: B0B75HQ7XZ
- Publishing Date: July 19, 2022
- This work in Kindle Format at Amazon.com
The work tells of:
A modern man with a boring everyday life learns of his impending demise from his doctor. That small stirring in his chest turns out to be a huge problem after all. It has been decreed by the forces that be, that he will die without fulfilling his dreams. He does as any reasonable person would do in a situation like this, quit his job, acquire loans, and spend it all on booze and drugs. With no more worry in life, his deepest cravings which used to be bound up because of societal obligations, all come out to play. And play they did, such that what killed him at the end of the day wasn’t his heart condition but too much alcohol, drugs, and an epic orgasm. Well, maybe the heart condition had something to do with but it doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is that he is dead now and on his terms.
But that isn’t the end for Ben Dover. He was reincarnated as an incubus. His new life as a demon of pleasure isn’t that different from his old life. There are demon capitalists and office jobs here too. He has been forced to work for a sex company to make a living. He didn’t have a choice in the matter because, unlike in his old world, the hierarchy in the society of demons is determined by strength. So either he works for them or stops living. Follow Ben Dover as he makes his way up the corporate ladder by using his modern knowledge of sex to his advantage. His adventures will lead him to acquire the strength of his own, a company of his own, and will be full of the naughty things he had to do to make it happen.
Ben’s managed to get out of his first test in one piece, but there’s a lot of questions left. What do they do with their collections? Who gains from this? The most important question however is why he’s so horny.
Following on from where the story ended in the last part, there’s really no erotica to speak of. This is something of an information dump which provides Ben with a better idea of what’s going on and what it all means to him. As such there’s little in the way of the story moving onwards. This is entirely a point to explain how things work.
The problem, however, is in how that is all told. It’s a very odd and rough narrative that needs a lot of editing to make things read better. There is several points where there seems to be words missing or a train of thought that get lost along the way.
The writing just didn’t flow well, which is a shame considering that there was a lot of information being revealed. It really needs a rewrite to tell the story better, to add some depth to the characters, and possibly add to Ben’s character more.
Two pitchforks out of five.
This was, however, the last part of the story which was published. It’s a challenge to write a story on a weekly basis and I hope the author decided to step back, think things over, and start again. Given the overall story idea and the characters, there’s a lot that could be done to make this a really good book overall. It just doesn’t help to force a story to make a deadline, which is what feels like happened here.