Becoming – Part VIII by TeraS

It’s been a month or so since Morgane’s story has been the focus of my writing. Time for a concerted effort to continue onwards, then, for this month, possibly leading towards her …

Becoming
Part VIII
By TeraS

For Morgane

She waits for me as she has for I don’t know how long. Patience is a virtue, so they say, but my own is frayed given all that I’ve been through. All of the desires, the need, and the want egg me onwards. I stifle a moan as the lust builds within me, pushing at any means of control I have. It consumes my reason bit by bit, seeping into my thoughts, trying to sever me from what she’s taught in the dream.

She’s holding me with her so-green eyes. I can hear her voice calling to me. It’s hard to focus on her with all of the thoughts pouring in, the lust flowing over everything I have learned. Would it be so awful to fall to this? Couldn’t I just give in? The words come back to me once more. She promised to catch me, after all. The lust burns within, pushing me to give in and lose myself to it completely.

I can’t bear watching as she purses her lips as I battle with the lust. Closing my eyes doesn’t make it any better. I know she’s disappointed; it’s the only explanation. I’ve failed this test and the dream will be soon shattered. I’ll never have the reality she offers, this taste of what might have been will haunt me for all of my days. I expect her to tell of the disappointment she feels.

I hear the words she speaks, but they don’t fully register until she draws me into her embrace. The words shock me in their passion. She believes in me. She trusts in me. She promised to catch me, not once, but every time I needed to be. The lust twines with my desire for her in the knowledge that she understands. It’s up to me to find that understanding within myself, as well. It’s not lust that I desire, nor is it erotic love that is all that needs to be. I want to be held, to be cherished, to know that there is someone who understands the dream and can share it with me. There is a world where I can find the purpose I have been seeking for so long.

It’s in this moment that the threads holding me to the grey world I have always known begin to fray. The dream calls with the pleasures offered and the wishes waiting to be be made real. My eyes are wet with tears, I feel her fingertips against my cheeks brushing them away. I hear the love in her voice and know that she only wishes to make the dream real for me. My kiss is unexpected and needful, giving myself to her for now and for always. I matter to her, but it’s more than that alone. It’s my turn to make the promise to her, what holds the dream together for those that believe: I will catch you.

I can’t help laughing now. The foolishness of lust’s temptations are clear to me now. I see her delight in watching my understanding come. She tucks a lock of her ebon mane back into place; the bemused smile that appears is both comfort and promise. The dream remains for me, bound within my heart and soul ever more as it was always meant to be.

I want her to guide me, to open the book that she placed into my hands before. I can see it waiting on my bed where I left it a lifetime ago. It’s but a moment to guide her there with me, settle onto the cool sheets and become entwined together. We touch the clasp and it unlatches easily, the book ready to release the secrets within.

There’s a knock at my door …