Stories with succubi that tend to only focus on the erotica and don’t tell much more of a story aren’t really ones that I think a lot of.
A story that’s not much more than what you’d find in a porn movie isn’t appealing to me. It’s far more interesting when there’s background and a plot to bring some life to the characters beyond the sex.
Occasionally there’s a story which hints at something more than the erotica, but doesn’t quite manage to tell that part of things. That’s a shame, but more so when the succubus doesn’t get a name.
- Title: Feeding the Succubus
- Author: Shelby Horne
- Published By: Smashwords
- Length: 31 Pages
- Format: eBook
- IBSN: 9781370405084
- Publishing Date: October 23, 2017
- This work in Various Formats at Smashwords.com
The work tells of:
With Halloween approaching, Bryan and his friends go exploring in an abandoned house, only to find it isn’t so abandoned at all! Is Bryan dreaming, or is he really at the mercy of a succubus? When he loses his virginity to her, he gets more than he bargained for.
Bryan has a problem, and it’s a really big one. Actually it’s more than one and when he’s trapped by a succubus, she might discover that his problems aren’t that hard to overcome.
The work mainly focuses on the things that the succubus, who is never named, does to Bryan. As such the majority of the work tells of her using him in all sort of different ways sexually. It’s a bit over the top in that, most of the erotica being porn levels of heat.
Outside of the erotica however, there’s a bit of world building, a tiny bit of character building, but it’s just there to get to the erotica overall. It’s a shame because Bryan’s past isn’t told all that much of, the succubus doesn’t tell anything about herself overall.
The succubus is described in a way that’s delightfully naughty, she’s not exactly evil either. However she is focused on one part of Bryan’s body and that takes over everything as the story continues.
The ending is a bit unexpected, certainly a twist in the tail. It makes sense within the story and it does give Bryan something he’s been needing as well. But it’s abrupt and feels too rushed in the pages before. The work could use at least one more editing pass, at least to give the succubus a name, and a lot more in the story too.
Two and a half pitchforks out of five.
There’s something here storywise, but it just doesn’t get the chance to appear. It would have been nice to know more about the succubus, about who she is, most of all her name. Beyond that, how things end is disappointing and leaves a lot to be desired. A bit less porn and a bit more story would have made this work a lot better.