The thing about a work in which there is a succubus character, is that leaving that character as a shadow, an incomplete thought as a whole, takes away a number of opportunities for storytelling. It’s not really enough for the character to speak a few short sentences and not much more. It’s more bothersome when their focus is on sex with another character, but there’s never a moment to peer beneath her form into who they are underneath.
It’s telling half a story, one side of a conversation, and leaving all else unsaid. Summing up their reasoning for their actions in a single sentence at the end of the story is, overall, really disappointing.
- Title: Seduced by a Succubus
- Author: Lucille Grey
- Length: 22 Pages
- ASIN: B06XNRYSW7
- Publishing Date: March 14, 2017
- This work in Kindle Format at Amazon.com
The work tells the story of:
Shy college freshman, Cody, isn’t expecting anything exciting to happen his first year at school.
It comes as a total shock when he meets the ethereally gorgeous and mysteriously sexy Lily. He’s totally smitten, and will do anything to please her…little does Cody know, Lily is a sneaky, sultry succubus preying on horny college boys and feeding off of their sexual energies.
Cody’s life has begun anew. A new town, a college to explore offers a chance to find the unexpected. Encountering Lily, he finds himself needing to be with her, allowing her to do as she wishes. But with that comes the feeling of losing something important to Lily and Lily wants it all.
The work is an erotic hot flash surrounded by quite a lot of character building for Cody, the focus of the story. As such, there’s a lot told about his past, his hopes and the day to day minutia of being at college. At times this tends to get into a lot of detail which bogged things down quite a lot. At the same time, once he encounters Lily, Cody seems to be sleepwalking through the story, losing much of what made him interesting and devolving things towards the erotica involving Lily.
That erotica, overall, has some heat, but it’s a bit glossed over. Some of the scenes are dream-like, some clearly point out that Lily is a succubus, and others just are very rushed in how thing unfold. The climax, in many cases, loses much of the heat created for the sake of ending the scene and moving onwards to the next awkward moment or the next encounter with Lily.
Lily, the succubus of this work, is a mystery. There’s little told about her form, she speaks in clipped tone and phrases as well. She’s not developed as a character, popping in and out of the story just long enough to ensnare Cody, pull him into a sexual encounter with her, and then vanish into thin air. That’s a shame because there are three points at which there seems to be some story to be told about her, but they don’t go anywhere. One example of this seems to be a roommate of Lily’s appears at the start of the work, but never returns. It leaves the question of who she is, if she’s real or a succubus or something more.
Questions about about Lily, save of course that she delights in entwining herself with Cody, pleasing him and then taking what she needs. That’s the problem with this work in that Cody’s development as a character is strong enough to make the reader care about him, but for Lily, there’s nothing to hold onto. There’s no past, no present, no moments between her appearances to show something more about her. It’s a lost chance to tell more of a story, to give life to her character beyond “just a succubus” which seems to be the overall tone.
There are a few small word errors and one or two spelling mistakes, but that didn’t take anything away from the story. What did was the lukewarm erotic scenes, the hints of story not followed and the loss of telling more about Lily as a character. By the end of the work, it felt like there was something important missing.
The ending was, sadly, completely expected and was telegraphed from the beginning. Beyond that, the ending itself was abrupt and offhanded in how things came to a close. Summing up Lily with a single sentence to end the story didn’t do anything for me, nor did it really explain anything about her. It did offer a path towards another story, but even then that’s done really half-heartedly.
Two and a half out of five pitchforks.
There’s really no character development of Lily, either as a character or for that matter a succubus. The hints she is a succubus are rather oblique and if the book title, or summary for that matter, didn’t expressly say she was a succubus, it would be easy to overlook some of the hints given.
As such, Lily is a mystery from beginning to end, there are some dangling plots left unresolved as well. There’s a very easy path forwards towards another work, which might be more focused on Lily, who she is, where she came from and so on. The work doesn’t focus on sex scenes exclusively, but while Cody’s character is explored, Lily, the other half, never has her due.