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Dec 09 2016

A Review of Futa Succubus Joins a Gym by M. Dunn

Futa Succubus Joins a Gym by M. Dunn

Futa Succubus Joins a Gym by M. Dunn

The appearance of futa succubi characters in many works of erotica in the past year has become somewhat of a theme overall. It’s an interesting concept, one that if explored, rather than simply exploited, can make for interesting characters, stories, and more.

It is the problem that I find happens a lot in the short works of erotica that have become so prevalent of late. That the characters, their stories, fall to the side for the sake of the story getting to the erotica. There can be a balance, even in the most odd titles and the most sexual of situations. Having that does, really, make a difference.

Last week I reviewed a pair of stories about a succubus named Ellissa. The author penned another story about her that tells a bit more…

The work tells of:

I’m a succubus. And all I want are naughty human women. Pretty simple needs really. So today, I’m joining a gym because that seems like the place to meet naughty human women. And I meet this gorgeous, raven haired, toned and fit personal trainer, Kirsten. But somehow, she’s immune! To me! This isn’t supposed to be possible. What am I to do? Bring in a succubus friend to help me out of course. Except there is a lot more to this personal trainer than meets the eye and it seems that we might have our hands full with this one. To say things get sticky is an understatement.

Elissa has a problem, she is attracted to someone she’s met in a gym, but they are immune to her succubus powers. Calling in a friend, Brandi, they both soon discover that things aren’t always as they seem. Sometimes they are much better than expected for all.

The story, overall, is focused on putting Elissa and Brandi together with Kristen. There’s little else in the way of story being told, backgrounds being explored. There’s not very much character development as well and that’s a shame. There are a lot of hints about the ongoing “battle” between angels and demons, what they deal with, how things work when they confront each other.

I really wanted to know more about that as a whole. The hints are actually far more interesting than the erotica is. But there is a lot of skimming over things for all of the commentary from Elissa wanting Kristen, but not being able to influence her. As well, when Brandi appears, she’s really only interested in sex, and not a lot more.

Once the revelation about Kristen comes, and then the collected characters figure things out for themselves, the erotica takes over the story. It is a short hot flash, but the heat is muted, a bit lost overall. It isn’t quite stereotypical futa erotica, nor are the succubi themselves really stereotypical either. However, Kristen, when her true form is revealed, seems to be a little bit stuck in her ways, which was disappointing considering the first part of the work.

The work needs more story to balance the erotica. The erotica itself shouldn’t be rushed and the ending just seems a bit tacked on. Spending more time telling Elissa and Brandi’s stories would have helped It think, but more so, just more story overall is what’s missing here.

Two and a half out of five pitchforks.

There’s not enough time spent in developing the characters for all of the innuendo that comes in the story and I wish the time had been spent in making both Elissa and Brandi more than just being futa and succubi. The hint of that is in the story, but it isn’t developed, nor is Kristen’s story as well.

 

Tera

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