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Dec 04 2016

A Review of Taken By The Futa Succubus written by Kara Lynn

Taken By The Futa Succubus written by Kara Lynn

Taken By The Futa Succubus written by Kara Lynn

The thing about very short stories is that, many times, they don’t allow for the characters to change, the story to be told more deeply. Telling of an encounter with a succubus is one thing, telling of what happens and making it more than erotica with a bare amount of heat is important.

Beyond this, skipping over things, not editing the story well, also does harm to the story. Perhaps the single thing that, when missing, brings me up short is when the succubus is never given a name.

That, for me, makes it very difficult to become immersed in the story.

It is the story of:

Chris doesn’t understand what he playing with, when his toying with hell turns him into a sex toy for a futa demoness.

Chris summons a succubus, seeking out that which he desires. But what he finds is that he doesn’t understand what confronts him and what his desires truly are. But then succubi know the desires of others and when given the chance, they are quite willing to see to it that desires come to be.

The main issue with this work is the seeming lack of direction. As the story is told, themes of mind control, dominance and submission come into play. Then there is a gender transformation, seemingly out of nowhere, and, obviously as the title hints, some futa themes as well. While the many themes could work, the second issue comes to editing.

The work doesn’t read very clearly. Some of the passages are difficult to follow, there are tense issues, a mixture of modern and medieval languages create moments when the reader is drawn from the work. The work is very short, there isn’t a lot of time spent in developing characters, exploring the story, describing events as they unfold.

The story rushes past, leaving no time for comprehension. The erotica is muted, having next to no heat within the moments when it comes. The gender transformation rushes by, not being told, only the aftermath. In short, there’s so many opportunities to tell a larger story, but they simply aren’t taken. It feels like there is a need to rush to the ending, to get to the “twist” such as it is and then draw the story to a close.

Another issue is that while the main character is named, the succubus, who is critical to the story, never tells her name. What Chris is allowed to call her isn’t her name, it’s a plot point and not much more than that. As well, there’s really nothing told about Chris, why he made the choices he did. There’s just a lot of questions left open, not explored and there need not have been.

The work needs a serious editing first and foremost. More story, more character development has to be considered. If there is there is be erotica, there needs to be more heat than there is. Finally, exploring the characters more would be nice to see. All of this would take what is, overall, what reads like the outline of a story and make this the story it could be.

There is a story, it needs to breathe.

One and a half out of five pitchforks.

The work is far too short, it skims over what otherwise could have been something more involved that it is. I feel like there’s parts missing, directions not explored. Adding to this work, perhaps making this a series of encounters between Chris and the succubus would be more interesting. But most of all, it’s a shame the succubus was never given a name.

 

Tera

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