There are many short stories appearing which have succubi as characters. The single most common problem with stories that are so short, is that there’s no time spent in actually telling a complete story. There is the suggestion of one, the offer of something more than happens.
Many times such works seem to be an opening chapter in a novel. Many times the story is brushed aside for a hot flash that tries to make up for the story’s length. But story matters, the characters matter and seemingly giving up on the story just as things get interesting is a real shame all things considered.
- Title: Marked By The Succubus
- Author: Vivienne Black
- Length: 6 Pages
- ASIN: B01HZX84S4
- Publishing Date: July 4, 2016
- This work at Amazon.com
It is the story of:
Klaire Reed is a creative, love-starved loner who has a fascination with all things dark and dastardly. She owns a magical ring that she’s kept on her finger for years. When this ring releases a much more powerful force, what will Klaire do when she finally meets the creature of her wettest dreams and most jolting nightmares?
Klaire tells of a ring she owns and the mystery surrounding it. A dream, or is it a dream, comes to her in the middle of the night and she cannot resist her. It is reality or her own fevered imagination. Either way, something has come and something has happened.
The work is a stream of thought from Klaire, telling of her needs, mainly sexual, her fantasies and how a ring, a rather unique one, fits into everything. The writing is a bit dry, Klaire’s emotional connection with her words really only coming to the fore through her erotic moments. Otherwise she drifts through her thoughts, scattered as they are.
As the story progresses, and her thoughts turn towards a certain ring she possessed, her thoughts become more focused, more directed and then her fantasies wrap into the ring. When that happens, a being appears, which could be a succubus, but really isn’t said to be one, only suggested. Assuming she is a succubus, she is dominant, powerful, and knows all of the secrets that Klaire holds and how to use them.
The succubus is never named, never really described. She is a fleeting piece of thought and imagination that doesn’t quite develop into something more than a means for Klaire find relief. Being that this work is so short, that’s not surprising. But as well, being so short, the building up of the story means there’s little time to develop the succubus as a character outside of her being seductive and playing with Klaire.
While Klaire is interesting, and the succubus, again, if she really is one, is as well, the limit of the story means there’s no character development, no plot, no expanding story to unfold. The work becomes a hot flash that just simmers in what it offers, but doesn’t bring things to a boil.
Two and a half out of five pitchforks.
This reads very much like the opening chapter to a novel. There’s a good hook, a character that seems to be complex, and a mystery to be delved into. But that doesn’t happen here, the story being pushed aside for a bit of heat which doesn’t go anywhere.
The author needs to develop this further, to take this work and make from it what seems to be here. Doing so I think would be interesting, and really should happen. There’s more here than my rating suggests. But like the story, it can’t come out to play as it wants to.