The next work in a series that I reviewed earlier this year about a rather dominant succubus named Cherry. You can find the first review here on the Tale where I noted some issues I had with the work and some of my thoughts about it.
I hoped there would be a part two, and in that part I wanted to see the promise that Cherry showed come out fully and the author take advantage of her personality, powers, and character most of all. I was rather pleased when came to the end of part two…
- Title: Heartbreaker: Part Two
- Author: Guava
- Length: 14 Pages
- ASIN: B00OMFFC98
- Publishing Date: October 17, 2014
- This work at Amazon.com
The story continues the tale of:
Cherry, the beautiful young succubus, has taken an unsuspecting man captive. The more she teases him without release, the greater her supernatural power grows, and the more helpless he becomes against her.
Cherry has her prey at her mercy and does everything to control him, stoke his fires, and, with some luck, give her not just the feeding she needs but the sex she craves. But sometimes the choices made aren’t always the best ones when you go a little too far.
Thankfully this work is much better than the first was. Cherry is a more focused character, there’s more of her personality, power and needs shown that I thought added to her more than they did in the first work. Her dominance over Kevin, her prey, is very clear and she uses that power to bring him over and over again to the edge, but never allows him past that point. It is a bit cruel at times, but there is a powerful heat in the words of his and her reactions to what happens through most of the story.
The work is a bit more than a hot flash, there are some hot mind control moments that work really well and Cherry’s succubus powers come out in the story really well, their description is told in a way that adds a lot of heat to an already heated series of erotic scenes. There is one moment, and really I found it telling when it happened, when Cherry is asked a question and for the one and only time in the work she doesn’t quite know how to respond or what to say. In that moment there was a hint of, let’s call it humanity, in her and that made me like her a lot more than I did before.
While the erotica is amazing, and the story of Cherry controlling Kevin, bending him to her will, and making him do really anything and everything to make her orgasm and more, there’s a point in the story that I just felt was out of place. In all of the teasing and drawing out of Kevin’s need… Cherry goes out shopping. This just took a lot of the heat from the story away and, as far as I was concerned, didn’t add anything to the main plot at all. It did set up I am sure another another story about Cherry, but it just caused a break in the story that took a while to overcome when she returned to Kevin.
The ended also left something to be desired as well in that how the work ends is abrupt, sudden, and almost seemed half thought out. This might well be in order to allow Kevin’s story to continue, but really it didn’t quite work for me and I could think of several other ways it could have ended that were better than it did.
There is a bit a suspension of reality needed when reading this work in what happens to Kevin in that some of the things that he is forced to go through by Cherry are… not exactly what you might call “possible.” Hand-waving that they happen because of Cherry’s powers is one thing, and that does work to a point, but it’s a bit over the top. Not in a bad way, it’s very hot as I have said, but a little less “wild” and a bit more “dominance” might have read better as a whole.
A very hot flash of erotica, the author has improved quite a lot from the first work about Cherry and especially in that there aren’t any real errors in the story itself. By taking more care in this work I think the author is creating a very good series about a succubus that interests me and I will be looking for book three when it comes out.
Four pitchforks out of five.
Much better overall in many ways. Better writing, hotter erotica, some well thought-out mind control aspects to the story that I enjoyed very much. I expect there will be a part three to Cherry’s story and in that, I think, there might be some problems coming in her direction. I think that will a very interesting story to read…