One of the themes that comes up fairly often with stories about succubi is erotic horror. Personally I find it hard to enjoy those sorts of stories because at the point where the erotica heats up, or the succubus appears and looks to be someone interesting, the story takes a turn directly into horror and I just find whatever enjoyment I had to that point vanishes.
Usually that happens when the story doesn’t give a clue about what the theme is going to be. Sometimes the title tells you exactly what is going to happen and it really doesn’t add much to my enjoyment of the work.
- Title: Dentata
- Author: Layla Hart
- Length: 18 Pages
- ASIN: B00LS7M9OE
- Publishing Date: July 13, 2014
- This work at Amazon.com
The work tells the story of:
James, a self-proclaimed “seduction expert,” is in a foul mood after striking out with a hot girl at the club. His luck seems to turn around, however, when he runs into the sexy and mysterious Lucia just before closing time. He can’t believe how easy it is to convince Lucia to come home with him. Unfortunately, there’s a reason why she agreed so quickly, and James is about to learn that inviting her into his apartment will prove to be a costly mistake…
…because Lucia is a succubus who consumes predatory men. And she has a special punishment in mind for James, which may or may not include a brand new body and with a jagged, gnashing bonus between the legs.
James goes out looking for a one-night stand, and after being turned down by several women meets Lucia who agrees to a drink at his place. However, Lucia tuns out to be a succubus, one that seeks a measure of revenge on men like James and takes that on him, leaving him with a problem. One that he won’t ever be freed from.
There are a lot of stereotypes in this work from beginning to end. All of the men seem to be the worst they can be, all of the women seem to be much the same. Lucia is more of a monster than a seductress, and in the end when James’ fate is sealed, even that turns into exactly what you would expect from the beginning of the story.
Lucia does, for the shortest of moments, act at least somewhat seductive towards James, but as soon as possible she turns towards being a monster, doing her best to be a monster and then… she vanishes leaving James to his fate. Initially I liked Lucia just in her attitude more than anything else, but when her true self came out it was apparent the she really was a stereotypically evil and single-minded monster. She isn’t however stereotypical in how she deals with James in the story, though for those that read Hentai, I’m sure you have an idea how that part of the story goes.
When James comes out the other side, and discovers that he has been changed, altered, transformed, the story goes a bit into the stereotypical gender switch moments of self exploration before he. now she, makes a fateful choice which turns the story towards the more graphically horrible part of the story. When that moment arrives, and then passes rapidly, the story comes to a rather unsatisfying end and that, more than anything else, really hurts the story to that point.
The work managed to make what happens between James and Lucia erotic, even having some good heat in that part of the story. The aftermath when James discovers what she is now cursed with and must do, just pushes any seduction or heat away as quickly as possible to get to the horror and bring the story to a rushing conclusion.
The work is rather short as a whole in that the lead up to Lucia meeting James takes up a large portion of the work. What actually happens between them passes very quickly and it seemed like it was cheating a bit to make that part of the story, which is the core of it, to be so short. The same can be said about the ending which takes a very few pages to get through and come to the end. I think that as a whole the work needs about ten more pages of story and most of that needs to be in the aftermath of James discovering what happened to him.
The writing is very descriptive. I liked the voices of the characters and the beginning of the work showed a lot of promise towards what it could be. But whatever heat was built in the story didn’t really go anywhere for me, I didn’t really care about any of the characters and I should have.
I’m giving this work three out of five pitchforks.
While the writing was very good, and the characters were very strong, I just came to that point in the story when I cringed, sighed, and turned the pages. It shouldn’t have been like that for all of the promise that led up to the final moments of the work and I don’t think it needed to.