So when is the Lost Girl sitting in a tree song appearing?

I have to admit that I spoke too soon last week about just how disappointed I was in last week’s Lost Girl episode. I thought it was the worst of the season… I was wrong. I thought that I couldn’t possibly be more disappointed in the series than I was then. I’m more so now. I thought that the season was going to turn a corner and start to actually tell the story which the entire season is about and should be focused on. I really should have known better.

I really wonder more and more about the series losing Kenzi in a lot of ways. I do not, however, see the point to bringing in a never before seen or mentioned, vaguely connected to one of the main characters, individual who seems to be young only for the sake of drawing in to the series the younger viewers. I can’t say I like the idea, can’t say it works, and most of all, the absolute ‘ick’ factor of what happened in this episode as a result just made my toes curl and my popcorn ran out before I could bury the television. But I’ll get back to that character later and rant more about them… promise.

The hardest thing for me to watch is teenage angst. It’s worse when adults are suffering through it and rather than deal with their problems, we have to sit and watch them try to help the teenager deal with his problems and in doing so, see “the light” themselves.” It’s a trope, it’s lame, and most of all it just makes me want to turn the channel. This is not, at all, how an episode should be. What’s more sigh inducing is that if you remove the entire subplot the rest of the episode doesn’t change at all. So… Why do it in the first place? The only reason I can see is so that you can kill off the new character and “give depth” to your current one. Wouldn’t it be as simple to just get them to deal with their own problems with those around them and not have to stoop to this junk?

In case you haven’t noticed, I am frustratingly miffed about this episode and if it is the low point of the season, then fine. I’ll deal with it, but I don’t have to like it. Truthfully I never will because it’s that awful an episode. I worried about the series jumping the shark before. Now I’m worried about the entire ocean.

The fourth episode of the fifth season, also episode sixty-five of the Lost Girl TV series, was this week. Bo gets sideswiped by a runaway who reminds her of someone, but she doesn’t listen to her instincts. Lauren tries out a British accent and ticks off Evony in the process, which leaves Lauren with a gift she didn’t want. Trick takes out the trash and then gets Vex into hot water. Tamsin tries out a couple of different kinds of takeout and Dyson’s nose gets another workout sniffing out the truth and missing what’s in front of him.

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This is the fourth review of the fifth season of of Lost Girl. A summary of this episode has been added to the SuccuWiki, but won’t be adding my commentary to the articles there as that is what the Tale is for….

Bo learns that sometimes when God plays with dice it’s also…


When God Opens a Window…


The episode opens with a series of short flashbacks from the previous episode which include: Bo telling Lauren that she has no sex drive, Lauren asking Dyson if there is any connection between the body that was in Lauren’s lab and the other two bodies from the elevator crash. Elizabeth is then seen breaking out of the lab, followed by Lauren asking Dyson to train her in self-defence as he did Kenzi in the past. Tamsin is then seen “pulling the plug” on Bo to force Bo to reveal the truth she has been hiding, which is that she loses everyone in her life. Trick, Dyson and Lauren reassure Bo that she will never be alone.

The actual episode begins with Tamsin (Rachel Skarsten) in Bo’s bedroom with a man named Tad (Scott Cavalheiro), the pair under the covers and Tamsin telling Tad “Frank! That was a solid B plus.” When Tad tries to correct Tamsin, she replies: “You’re hilarious. I’m starving! I could really use some Chinese food.” Bo (Anna Silk) then enters the room, carrying Chinese takeout, and Tamsin comments: “I love my roommate.” Bo replies: “That’s okay Tamsin, there’s no need to grab our weapons and come right back to the pub, I can take down the mighty little Clurichaun all by myself really.” Tamsin seems to be embarrassed about what happened and tells Bo that: “I was totally on my way back when I happened to bang into… Well I banged this guy.” From the bed, Tad calls out his name and Tamsin shushes him to be quiet. Bo asks: “In my bed?” Tamsin replies: “Yeah that’s weird right?” Seeing that Bo has takeout, Tamsin gleefully adds: “But this smells good!” When Tamsin makes for the takeout, Bo stops her when Tamsin asks: “But we share!” Bo answers: “Are you going to share?” Tamsin moves to the side, calling out: “Oh Frank… It is your lucky night because my succubus friend just got her mojo back and she’s hornier than a monkey with eight dicks.” Bo winces as she interrupts: “Or something feminine and sexy.” Tamsin shrugs: “Whatever.” then takes the takeout, telling Tad to “buckle up stud muffin” and then leaves Bo’s bedroom with the food as Bo slinks towards Ted.

The scene then switches to a bus stop located beside a building, a bus waiting there, and a figure running towards the bus. A young man enters the bus and is told by the driver that the fare is $2.25. The young man then attempts to pawn a watch he has, calling it his grandfather’s, in place of the fare. After some hemming and hawing, the driver agrees to take the watch. When the driver is asked when they are leaving he answers: “When I’m good and ready” and the young man walks further into the bus. Seeing a young women, the only other passenger, sitting nearby, he sits with her, which only makes her nervous and she moves away from him, noting: “You know there are a lot of seats that aren’t taken.” He agrees and adds: “Guess I was just taken by you” which makes her shake her head. He offers his hand and introduces himself as Mark (Luke Bilyk), she shakes and reveals her name is Margaret, then corrects her name to Maggie (Michelle Mylett). Mark then comments: “Let me guess. You’re from a small town and you have a big family, a strict family, who didn’t approve of your being pregnant so you are fleeing to the big city to raise the baby on your own.” Maggie replies: “I’ve done so much thing.” and then turns away from Mark. He tries to charm her back, explaining that he was “just joking” with her. Mark then states that she is a singer and when she asks how he knows, Mark explains that her name can only belong to a “famous singer.” Maggie then tells her life story, mentioning a pitch pipe that her uncle gave her. When Mark asks to see it, Maggie hands it to him, but Mark drops it and when he leans down to pick it up, there is the sound of an arrow flying through the air and shattering a window in the bus. When Mark gets up he sees that Maggie has an arrow through her heart and she is dead. Mark then runs on his hands and knees towards the back of the bus as the scene ends.

Following the opening titles sequence, we return to Tamsin enjoying the Chinese takeout that Bo brought home with her, commenting to herself as she does so: “So the husband says to the wife ‘I want 69’ to which the wife replies ‘If you think that I’m getting out of bed to make lemon chicken you crazy!” Tamsin then lays back on the couch, chuckling to herself at the joke as Mark bursts through the front door. Tamsin looks at him and then calls out: “Bo? Did you order delivery?” When Bo doesn’t answer, Tamsin looks at Mike and says: “Hey.” Mark waves and replies: “Hey.” Mike is then seen devouring the remains of the takeout food, then apologizes for “bursting in” as he wasn’t sure that he had the right place as Bo finds a flyer for her detective agency in a side pouch of his backpack, commenting: “Yeah, that’s how we like it. You want to tell us what you are running from?” Mark explains that he isn’t running, that he is being followed, but does not know who is following him. When Tamsin presses Mark to say what he’s done, Mark replies very quickly: “Nothing!” Tamsin pointedly tells Mark that “you aren’t followed for doing nothing.” Mark swears that he hasn’t done anything and then offers to pay Bo with a watch that his grandfather owned. Tamsin comments: “Sorry, we only take Visa” and Bo refuses to take the watch and returns it to him after apologizing for Tamsin with: “Please excuse my roommate, she banged into some low hanging fruit and now she sucks.” When Mark reveals that he has no other clothes than what he is wearing, Bo takes him towards her bedroom and tells him to take whatever he’d like from the men’s clothing there. As Mark enters Bo’s bedroom, Tamsin tells Bo: “I don’t trust him as far as I want to throw him.” As Tamsin tells Bo that Mark is trouble, he listens from close by, then turns away. Bo tells Tamsin: “He’s in trouble, there’s a difference.” Tamsin points at the front door: “Yeah and whatever is chasing him could be right outside our doorstep.” Bo replies: “Exactly, that’s why I want to know what it is.” Tamsin yells at Bo: “I’ll tell you what it is, it isn’t our problem!” When Bo suggests they “should make it our problem” Tamsin clutches her head and moans: “Oh I knew you were going to say that.” Bo explains to Tamsin: “If we are going to be partners, we need to get a couple of things straight. One, when you say you are going to be back with weapons, you come back with weapons. Two. We are never going to make it unless we find a more positive way to speak to each other and three. We help those that need help so deal with it!” Tamsin leans in and replies: “Yeah that tone is a lot less confrontational.” Bo apologizes and explains her mood as “being something about this guy” and when Tamsin questions this, Bo adds: “Something… familiar.” After Tamsin comments: “Broke?” Bo says she cannot explain what it is and “It wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve worked for free.” Tamsin tells Bo: “He’s not Kenzi! We can’t keep taking in every stray that comes to our doorstep.” Mark then enters the room, having taken Dyson’s favourite T-shirt which has a picture of Hale on it and the caption “10th Annual Metro Police Darts Tournament – Take You Best Shot”, idly comments that he found a shirt and then makes his excuses and leaves after Bo tells him: “I spent a lot of time running and one thing I can tell you is that you can never run far enough. Whatever is chasing you will not stop until you face it head-on.” Mark smiles, tells Bo: “See you around.” and leaves. Tamsin comments that Mark left in a hurry as she walks towards Bo’s bedroom. Tamsin then calls out Bo’s name and when she enters her bedroom she sees that it has been ransacked by Mike and many things are missing. Bo takes one look and curses: “That little shit.” Tamsin walks out of the room telling Bo: “Yeah. Now we do it my way.”

The next scene is of Lauren (Zoie Palmer) walking on an estate with a butler (David Occhipinti), commenting that the grounds are “impressive” and then commenting to the butler in a false British accent which amuses Lauren, but the butler is seen to be biting back a reply to her. Evony (Emmanuelle Vaugier) is then seen riding a horse through the grounds and passes by Lauren, staring at her as she does so. Lauren comments: “Well, at least she is keeping a low profile now that she’s human.” Evony arrives and hands off her steed to a helper, telling him: “Make sure that Bruce is fed and… milked.” As she walks towards Lauren, Lauren comments: “Images of Catherine the Great dance in my head.” Lauren then follows Evony as she walks away, Lauren calling out: “Toodle-oo governor” and when the butler just turns away, Lauren sighs: “Only I find me funny.”

Evony and Lauren are then seen sitting at an outdoor table where Evony tells of what she did about one of her servants that Evony accused of stealing from her and even when the truth came out that she didn’t, Evony still fired her and her entire family. Evony then asks about Lauren’s assistant who was killed in her lab, Lauren replies that she doesn’t know what to tell Evony about it, mentioning that Lisa was a “nice girl” and that she feels responsible as she left Lisa alone when it happened. Evony dismisses Lisa and asks if any of the equipment that she paid for was damaged, Lauren assures her that none of it was, adding: “Just one precious human life.” Evony replies: “That’s good. And the three dead bodies that just disappeared, you weren’t going to mention that?” Lauren’s stunned answer is: “You have eyes and ears everywhere don’t you?” Evony pointedly replies: “Lauren, I did not get shacked up with a fat old money buffoon with fake teeth and horrific gout to watch the clinic I opened in my name get plundered by common thieves. No, I did it because I am a survivor. And I will not be made to look like a fool.” Lauren assures Evony that the security system that Evony is authorizing will make sure of it, but when Evony asks about the serum that Lauren is supposed to be creating to make her Fae once more, Lauren comments: “Oh, you know, can’t rush science.” Evony does not reply, but looks pointedly at Lauren.

The next scene begins with Mark running down an alleyway until he comes face-to-face with Tamsin who shows her Valkyrie “death face” to him. Bo then grabs Mark and throws him against a fence, commenting: “Call me old fashioned, but I really don’t like being stolen from.” Tamsin, in an angry voice warns: “Do you know what we do to thieves?” Bo then looks at Tamsin and asks her to “take it down a notch.” Tamsin then asks Bo if she can talk to her and then the two have a discussion as Mark cringes against the fence. Tamsin tells Bo: “I feel very disrespected when you back seat drive on my bad cop routine.” Bo answers: “Okay, well I hear you but sometimes I wish you would try a different approach. Maybe something a little sunnier.” Tamsin coughs, then continues: “Well, I hear you. But I have been doing this a very long time and I would really appreciate and value your patience.” Bo manages: “Well, I give you my patience.” As Bo says this, Mark tries to run, but both Tamsin and Bo grab him, shove him back into the fence and warn: “Don’t even think about it.” Bo then takes Mark’s backpack and begins to go through it, seeing what is left of what he took from her. Tamsin asks Mike why he stole from them and he explains that he “wanted to get out of town… fast.” Bo then shows Mike one of Kenzi’s swords, telling him that: “This belongs to my best friend.” Mark replies that he’s “sorry. Honest.” Bo then walks up to Mark and shows him yet another of the watches he has been peddling and asks: “So how many Grandfathers did you have?” Mike attempts to talk his way out of things, claiming that both Bo and Tamsin were nice to him, but no one else ever is. Bo then finds some fake identification that Mark is carrying and stares at it for a long moment. Then Mark whispers: “Oh no.” and then Bo is hit by an arrow from behind and falls to the ground in pain. As Bo asks Tamsin why the arrow hurts so much, Mike runs off to save his own skin,Tamsin calling him a coward as he does so. Tamsin grabs the arrow at both ends, warns Bo that: “This is going to hurt.” and then breaks the arrow in two before pulling it out of Bo making her cry out in pain.

After a commercial break, Trick (Richard Howland) is seen walking out the back door of the Dal Riata with some garbage that he tosses into a garbage bin. A pair of thieves approach Trick, who tells them that he has no money and wants no trouble, but one of the thieves tells Trick to let them into the Dal Riata and give them access to the cash register. Trick asks: “And if I refuse?” and one thug replies: “Things will get messy” and begins to move towards Trick but before they can attack Trick, they turn towards each other and knock each other unconscious which reveals Vex (Paul Amos) lurking in the shadows.

Bo is then seen suffering from her wounds as Tamsin attempts to clean them. Bo tells Tamsin she can’t believe that Tamsin just pulled the arrow from her shoulder, Tamsin telling Bo: “It was for your own good.” Bo tells Tamsin that she needs to feed and Tamsin allows Bo to feed from her which seems to repair some of the damage, but not all of it, the damage beginning to worsen again after a moment. Tamsin tells Bo to feed from her again as Lauren enters the room commenting: “Oh! So much blood and kissing!” Bo calls out after Lauren as she turns to leave, but Lauren explains that she needs to get her medical kit.

Dyson (Kristen Holden-Ried) is seen working out in his gym as Trick calls out to Dyson, telling him that they need to talk. When Dyson turns to look at Trick he sees Vex with him and moves to attack Vex, but Trick asks Dyson to stop. Dyson asks: “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.” Trick tells Dyson that Vex saved him from some thugs but Dyson dismisses this as a farce, Vex telling Dyson that he is being “a bit cynical.” Trick then tells Dyson that he “figured the safest place for Vex is with you. The one man who will kill him if he’s lying. Better to have a Mesmer and not need one, and you just might.” Trick hands Dyson a file and explains that three humans were found dead just outside of the borders of the Fae. Trick asks Dyson, with Vex’s help, to look into what happened. Dyson reminds Trick that he no longer holds fealty to him, but to Bo. Trick reminds Dyson that he is the Acting Ash and that Dyson serves his conscious. Trick then leaves the gym, leaving Vex with Dyson. Vex comments: “Well, at least we have that in common.” referring to serving their own conscious as Dyson walks away angrily.

Back at Bo’s place, Lauren is dropping a substance into a test tube and commenting: “Amazing. I just took the equivalent of Fae Kryptonite out of your shoulder.” Bo is confused and Lauren explains: “It is a metal derived from a parasite. What’s so cool about this particular compound is that it’s a mineral and it’s also alive. Every time you heal, this sneaky rascal re-split the wound.” When Bo asks: “So that was in my shoulder?” Lauren replies: “Him.” then picks up a second test tube adding: “And his little sister.” When Lauren places the two tubes together the substances become very active, seeming to try to get into contact with each other. As Tamsin sees this, she winces and Bo comments: “Oh. I may hurl.” Lauren replies: “I know. I’m excited too! They’re attracted to each other’s heat signature. Where one goes the other wants to go. You’ll want to bet that the Squish Family Robertson are looking for these two right now.”Lauren hands the vials to Bo and she muses that the substance acts like a tracking device and Tamsin asks: “So this Robin Hood dude knows where we are?” Bo thanks Lauren, adding that she was lucky that Lauren came by. Lauren replies that in her “professional opinion you’ve always benefited from the human touch” which makes Tamsin cough, then tell both Bo and Lauren that “this is sweet and all, but we have places to go and people to find.” She then has Bo feed on her which does finally heal Bo’s injury and Bo thanks Tamsin for her help. Tamsin replies: “What are partners for?” as she looks at Lauren and licks her fingers. Bo then muses that there might be a way to use the tracking substance against their attacker to trap them instead, but Bo needs to find Mark as well. When Lauren asks: “Where would a handsome young Fae go in a town he doesn’t know?” Bo just smiles.

Mark is then shown in the Dal Riata, eating chicken wings, and attempting to convince a group of Fae that he needs “only enough money to get back to Africa and claim my inheritance and half of it is yours.” Bo and Tamsin then grab Mark, carry him across the room and slam him into the bar. Bo tells Mark to “spill it and tell us what’s going on!” Mark claims: “I don’t know and I don’t know and let’s see… I don’t know.” When Mark comments that the wings are spicy and then tries to grab a drink off the bar, Tamsin flips him over and warns Mark: “Stop dicking us around.” Mark then tries to play the guilt card on Tamsin, reminding her that he’s “just trouble.” Bo tells Mark that she could have been killed and he owes them an explanation and he needs to: “Stop acting like a child and man up.” Mark then finally explains that the person chasing him is a Hunter who has been trying to kill him since he was a boy, but he claims not to know why that is.” When Tamsin asks what kind of Fae he is, Mark claims he has no idea as his mother died when he was young and he has no family. When Mark moans about something being wrong with him, Bo tries to reassure him there isn’t but his answer is: “But everywhere I go I leave a body count.” Mark then tells of what happened on the bus the day before which seems to have actually affected him. Bo tells Mark they can help him, but he cannot tell lies anymore.

The scene them moves to Bo’s place where Mark and Bo are seen talking, Mark telling Bo what his life has been like. Bo then complains about the wound she suffered, wondering out loud why it is hurting “so much” and when Mark asks about this, Bo suggests that Lauren left some shrapnel in her shoulder. Mark then kisses Bo and after a moment, Bo pushes him back. Mark asks: “I thought that’s how you healed?” Bo replies: “It is and… wow.” before they kiss again. The door to Bo’s place opens and a figure enters carrying a knife in one hand. As Bo and Mark break their kiss, the figure is revealed to be the Hunter (Aaron Poole) who muses: “I’ve waited a long time for this.” Bo turns to him and replies as she reveals that she has been carrying the vials under her clothing: “Yeah? Well, we’ve been waiting all night.” The lights come up in the room as Tamsin enters, points at Bo and says: “And the Oscar goes to…” Lauren then walks into the room behind the hunter, says: “Twelve years a babe” and then shoots twelve tranquiler darts into the Hunter’s back, making him fall unconscious to the floor. Lauren explains: “Sorry. I was president of PETA in high school. Let’s take him back to my clinic and lock him up.” Mark rants: “We’re not locking him up! He’s a murderer!” and then grabs the Hunter’s knife and moves to kill him but Lauren shoots Mark, knocking him out as well. Lauren then suggests that someone take the gun away from her and Bo agrees while Tamsin winces.

Following another commercial break, Lauren and Bo are seen in Lauren’s clinic, Lauren admiring the weapons that the Hunter carries, noting that: “The bone in this knife dates back to the Mesopotamian era of ancient Greece.” Bo replies: “How would I?” and Lauren replies: “Um… Carbon dating?” Bo sees the Hunter waking up and confronts him, telling him that he tried to kill an innocent Fae and he shot Bo with an arrow that “hurt like a bitch”, but the Hunter reveals that Mike killed the Hunter’s wife and daughter adding that “he and his kind hunted us all down like chattel” and intends not to stop hunting Mike down and making him suffer “as much as I have.” Bo then asks the Hunter to give her his hand, so that she can believe his story. When the Hunter does so, Bo uses her powers to force him to tell the truth about his wife.

Elsewhere, Vex is with Dyson at Dyson’s gym, asking idly: “Do you think that mummies care about how they are portrayed in cartoons? You know, all mumbling and moaning like morons.” When Dyson does not respond, and keeps looking through the files that Trick left, Vex continues: “I knew a mummy once named Andy. He was a tremendous chef but terrible hygiene. As you can guess mummies don’t care about domestic things like toilet paper.” As Dyson examines the photographs, it is clear that some kind of mark was pressed into the skin of each of the victims, but for what purpose he cannot tell. Vex attempts to gain Dyson’s attention by commenting: “You know, I know a few things about being bad. You know, what it all may mean. The cultural significance. Yeah, my input could actually be helpful. But, I know you’re a proud wolf and you like to figure things out on your own.” As Vex finishes saying this, Dyson turns on him and shoves Vex against the ropes of the ring, pinning Vex there. Dyson growls: “I don’t want your help. I don’t want you around. All I see when I look at you is the man that killed my partner. All I see when I look at your ridiculous face is Massimo’s special friend!” Vex chokes out: “Special friend? He’s the closest thing to a son that I’ll ever have!” Dyson becomes angrier, warning: “You aren’t helping your case Vex.” Vex presses on: “I raised him since he was walking! And you lot went and killed him!” Dyson loses his cool and screams: “He was an abomination!” and then throws Vex across the room into a table. Vex yells: “He didn’t stand a chance! All he had was me! I knew he was trouble Dyson. I knew he was bad but it didn’t matter! Nothing he could do would change how I felt about him! He was mine and I loved him!” Dyson then stalks past Vex and comments: “Quite the legacy Vex.” Vex then turns on Dyson telling him: “Oh piss off. You were the one that let him go in the first place!” Dyson then spins around and punches Vex, dropping him to the floor in pain. Dyson then tells Vex: “I’m going to the clinic. If you are here when I get back I will kill you.”

Dyson is then seen in Lauren’s clinic looking at one of the human bodies and then sniffing the air before asking: “What is that?” When Lauren asks what Dyson is talking about he replies: “That smell. Something… Something… bad.” Lauren comments that everything in a hospital smells bad, and then asks what he has figured out. Dyson then asks: “Why these men? Why these three specifically?” Vex enters the room and comments: “Shopped at the same supermarket? Car pool friends perhaps?” Dyson growls: “I thought I made myself clear Vex.” Vex asks Dyson to listen to him beginning with: “I tried to get Massimo to leave town!” But Dyson punches Vex in the stomach again as Lauren looks on helplessly. Vex continues: “But he wouldn’t listen to me!” Dyson yells: “You seem to have the same problem!” Vex chokes out: “Hale was my friend too!” which makes Dyson draw his gun and point it at Vex, warning him that if he says Hale’s name again he will kill him. Lauren tells Dyson that she was with Massimo and Vex is telling the truth that: “Massimo at the end was completely beyond reason.” Vex pleads: “Listen, I’m sorry I screwed up!” Dyson places his gun under Massimo’s chin and holds Massimo’s head with his other hand, ranting: “You always screw up! Do you think it’s always so easy being a good guy? Always doing the right thing? Do you know how easy it would be to do the wrong thing? How good that would feel?” Vex calmly tells Dyson: “Just do it. Come on! Pull the trigger! Put me out of my bloody misery.” Dyson cocks the gun while Lauren tells him: “I know you are in a lot of pain, but Hale and Kenzi were not his fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault! This isn’t going to fix anything!” After a pause, Dyson uncocks the gun and releases Vex before walking away from him.

Meanwhile, at Bo’s place, Bo is sitting with Mark as he wakes up from the darts that Lauren shot into him. When Mark asks what happened, Bo replies: “Oh, you know, you tried to kill the Hunter, my ex shot you with a tranquilizer dart, usual Thursday fare.” Mark tells Bo that he can explain and she tells him that the hunter told her that he blames Mark for killing his wife and child and is not lying about that. Mark admits that he did bite off the Hunter’s ear, but claims the hunter killed his mother when he was six years old, calling himself a coward for doing nothing to stop the Hunter then. Mark then claimed that he ran when the Hunter shot Bo in an attempt to keep Bo and Tamsin safe from further harm. Bo tells Mark: “You are not a coward, you’re just lost.” Mark admits that he is “sick and tired of running and everyone around me dying.” When Bo tells Mark that killing the Hunter is not the answer, he asks what is and Bo’s reply is to whisper: “What is it about you?” and then kiss him deeply before the pair fall out of sight.

Returning to Lauren’s clinic, Vex is mumbling to himself: “Thinks himself better than me? Puts a gun under my chin? He’s lucky I don’t go kung-fu on his ass the pig.” Dyson, on the other side of the room calls out: “What did you just say?” Vex turns white as a sheet and turns to Dyson as he says: “Pig. You said pig.” Vex replies: “You only think I said that.” But Dyson turns to Lauren and explains that the first victim was a cop, also called in slang a ‘pig’ and there were puncture wounds on both of his feet, hung upside down and then bled dry. The second victim was a prison guard, called a ‘bull’ in slang. Dyson notes that both had their throats cut, their bodies branded and then their organs were removed and burnt. Dyson notes that: “In Pagan religions the pig and the bull would be sacrificed.” Lauren adds: “Their blood would be spilled to purify them, their organs sacrificed to the gods.” When Lauren asks about the third victim, Dyson cannot make a connection to the other two, as there is no cut throat, no puncture wounds, but he was branded similarly to the other two victims and died because of dehydration. Dyson notes that the victim was Russian and that he served eight years of a double life sentence. Vex chuckles and comments: “Someone must have been a baaad boy.” When Dyson looks at Vex, not seeming to understand what he is getting at, Vex continues: “If you shave that much time off a double life sentence, you’ve been talking to the right people.” Dyson replies: “A snitch, a rat. But a rat doesn’t fit.” Vex tells Dyson: “This is a Russian prison. A snitch isn’t a rat. He’s a goat.” Dyson muses: “A sacrifice to the desert to cleanse the sins. In hopes of bringing good fortune. We’re dealing with a cult here. A Fae cult.” Lauren tells Dyson: “Those three bodies from the elevator crash they were taken the other night.” Dyson thinks a moment, then tells Lauren: “Three ritual killings, three missing bodies.” Lauren agrees there could be a connection and Dyson asks if Lauren has anything from the missing bodies that might have a scent on it he could track, and Lauren tells Dyson that she does.

Back at Bo’s home, she awakes in bed and looks for Mark, but he is not in bed with her. Bo calls out for Tamsin who tells Bo that she thought Mark was with him. Bo then realizes that Mark must have left at some point in the evening to confront the Hunter and kill him.

Following still another commercial break, Dyson and Vex are seen climbing a flight of stairs in what appears to be a hotel of some kind. When Vex asks if they are in the right place, Dyson sniffs the air and Vex comments: “Ah yes, the famed shifter nose. Yes it is quite the aquiline beauty if I must say so. Slim. Slender and strong.” Dyson tells Vex to be quiet and Vex replies: “Don’t think I’ve ever tried.” The pair approach a door and as Dyson is about to open it, his cell phone rings. Bo tells Dyson that her “new client Mark” is in trouble and that she needs him to go to Lauren’s clinic and stop Mark from killing the Hunter. Dyson whispers: “That’s what I smelt” and he and Vex rush off. Moments after they do so, Persephone in Elizabeth Helm’s body (Amanda Walsh) opens the door to look outside. Seeing no one, she returns inside and calls out: “Empty again sweetie. Sweetie, don’t keep me waiting. You know how angry I get.” When nothing happens, she chuckles and continues: “Oh right. I guess I’ll get my own drink then.” As she moves off, a man’s body is shown with blood coming from his lips and eyes as well as lightning sparking around them as well.

Back at Lauren’s clinic, Mark is attacking the Hunter, Lauren trying to make him see reason as he does so. Mark demands to know why the Hunter has been trying to kill him, but the Hunter refuses to answer. Dyson appears and tells Mark: “It’s because you are a Shifter.” When Mark asks who Dyson is, he replies: “A Shifter. Like you.” Dyson explains that the type of Fae that the Hunter is has been hunting Shifters for centuries. The Hunter greets Dyson, telling him “It’s been a long time.” Dyson replies: “We don’t hunt Fae anymore Kelly, it’s forbidden. Especially Shifters that have not shifted yet.” The Hunter replies with a crazed look: “I figured that since the Una Mens got all cut up that it’s open season.” Mark then moves to drive the Hunter’s blade into him, intending to kill him, but Dyson stays the killing blow, telling Mark: “I know you’re mad. I know you’re in a lot of pain. But killing this man will not change that.” Mark demands the Hunter’s death for killing his family and Dyson tells Mark that in the Hunter’s eyes all Shifters are responsible for his family’s deaths and tells Mark that they can stop the “circle of violence” and end it finally. Dyson takes the knife away, then tells the Hunter to flee, which he does as Mark protests violently.

The next scene is at the Dal Riata where Mark and Dyson are eating at a table with Bo standing nearby. Bo asks why Dyson let the Hunter go and Mark comments: “Well I think it has something to do with Dyson being a self-righteous douchebag.” Dyson only comments: “Don’t want to talk about it.” The pair are then seen eating and drinking, then crack their knuckles in almost perfect synchronicity while Bo watches. Bo then whispers: “Oh my god. He’s your…” Dyson finishes: “Son. Yeah. I smelt it when we met.” Mark is shocked and Bo whispers: “I knew there was something about you that was… familiar.”

After another commercial break, Mark is trying to leave, while Dyson asks him to stop. Mark does not until Dyson calls out the name “Piper” which stops Mark in his tracks. When Dyson continues: “Judging my your age your mother would have to be…” Mark turns and tells Dyson: “Don’t. You don’t get to say her name. You bailed and she died.” Dyson tries to explain that wasn’t what happened, but Mark will not hear of it. Dyson stops Mark again and tells him: “She never told me she was pregnant. She never told me about you. But I know now. I know nothing I say can make it right, but you can stop running. You don’t have to suffer alone.” Mark tells Dyson: “You’d just get sick of me. I’m trouble. Everyone says so.” Dyson replies: “I’m never going to see it that way. Because I’m your father.” Mark turns away from Dyson, walks away, his last words to Dyson are: “Because of you, family isn’t my thing.”

At Lauren’s clinic, Evony suddenly bursts into the room where Lauren is working and rants: “Enough bullshit! I tried to be nice to you for a whole day and it got me no where. Where is my serum!” Lauren replies: “Well you seemed so happy with the rich hubby and the gout…” Evony explodes: “That was this morning!” After a pause, Evony continues: “Honestly, these human mood swings… I don’t know how you do it.” Lauren then tells Evony that she wished she had better news for her, but there have been setbacks. Evony then replies: “Well, I’ve had setbacks too. Turns out husband wants to turn the pool house into a man cave. So I’m going to have to store a few little odds and ends here at the clinic. The clinic that I paid for.” Evony then calls out for a pair of guards that carry into the room a large box with an extension cord attached to it. Evony leans over the box and crows: “Well hello little baby…” When Lauren asks what is inside, Evony explains: “This old thing? It’s only the most feared creature known to Fae. But let’s just call it an insurance policy. You know, so while I’m human nobody gets any funny ideas. It won’t be too much trouble for you to watch it for me now will it?” When Lauren asks what it is called. Evony replies: “Nobody knows. it’s that old. Oh I really hope that something bad doesn’t happen. If it were to escape that would be really bad for you. Chop-chop! Serum isn’t going to serum itself.” Evony then picks up the extension cord and hands it to Lauren with the warning: “And this little guy is running on battery and she be getting low. I’d find a power source if I was you. Toot sweet.” Evony then leaves the container with what’s inside to Lauren.

Elsewhere, Dyson is walking in an alleyway waiting and then the Hunter appears. Dyson tells him: “Go ahead. Kill me. On one condition.” When the Hunter asks what that is, Dyson replies: “Mark. Leave my son alone.” The Hunter laughs at the request adding: “Just have to enjoy killing him all the more.” As the Hunter draws his knife, Dyson whispers: “I thought you might say that.” and then calls out Vex’s name who freezes the Hunter where he stands. Dyson then turns to the Hunter and tells him: “I once made the mistake of letting a murderer go. Because I thought it was the right thing to do. I won’t make that mistake again.” Vex then forces the Hunter to drop his knife and then Dyson adds: “This time, I’ll do what feels right.” Dyson then shifts into his wolf form and attacks the Hunter, killing him.

After another commercial break, Bo is seen with Tamsin talking about Dyson having a son. Bo tells Tamsin she can never tell Dyson that Bo had sex with Mark and for a moment Tamsin muses that it is “great roommate leverage” but she tells Bo she is kidding and she will keep the secret for Bo. Bo tells Tamsin that: “I thought there was a time when me and Dyson would…” Tamsin replies: “There was a time for him too. You guys are good together. Even if it is just as friends.” As Bo gets up to leave, Tamsin tells her that she was hard on Mark because: “I knew he was a liar. And because I knew he was trouble. I knew I was right because he’s just like me. When I left Valkyrie school I hurt a lot of people and I did a lot of things that I’m not proud of.” Bo nods, then replies: “You know, you and me? Think we’re going to be okay.” and then after Tamsin answers “okay” Bo leaves her place.

The next scene of the episode opens with Dyson sitting at a table looking at a picture and clutching a bottle, drinking heavily. There is blood on his face, evidence of his attack and killing of the Hunter earlier in the episode. Bo greets him and Dyson answers in a sullen tone. When Bo draws close, she can see that Dyson is holding an old picture of Piper. Dyson tells Bo that he had heard that she had died, but not that she had been pregnant, that he wasn’t around to know and adding: “Wasn’t big into long term in those days.” Bo tries to tell Dyson that this could all be a blessing but Dyson replies: “Bo. I love you. I do. I thank you for stopping by.” Dyson then stands and Bo sees his face for the first time, the expression on her face unreadable as she sees what is there. Dyson continues: “I just want to be alone tonight if that’s okay.” Bo hugs Dyson, kisses Dyson’s cheek and then turns and walks away, but before she can leave, Dyson calls after her: “Hey Bo? Thanks for watching our for my boy. He likes you. And he could use a Big Sis.” Bo manages a smile and comments: “Sis…Yeah. You know me.” and laughs once as she leaves Dyson alone.

The final scene of the episode begins with Dyson holding the bottle and looking at the photographs of the three human victims that were branded. Putting the bottle down, Dyson moves the photographs around until the three separate marks become one larger design. He stares at the pattern for a moment, then takes a drink while he walks away. As Dyson does so, the mark begins to sparkle, then arc with lightning before the photographs are burned where the design sits. As this finishes, there is the sound of thunder and lighting flashes outside of Dyson’s window as the episode ends.




Fade to black…


I absolutely have the hardest problem finding a single thing that I really enjoyed in this episode. There was so much not to like from Mark, who was a complete waste of space in every scene, to the core plot, which didn’t add much to the series as a whole, to the lack of getting further on the plans of Bo’s Father, which weren’t touched on to any real extent. The only thing, now that I think about it, is that I did like the one scene where Bo and Tamsin where “discussing” their issues. I did laugh at that, I thought that was well played, but nothing else in this episode really stuck in my thoughts.

Which brings me back to Mark, who is an afterthought, a ghost, an ill conceived notion. A character with no real redeeming qualities that eats up far too much screen time and is all flash and a smile that I would happily slap off him would I be close enough to do so. He was played so far over the top, was so overtly a conman, that how it was that Bo didn’t see through that was beyond me. Put on top of that Mark is Dyson’s son and I just hate the character with the intensity of a thousand suns. Why add a character like this? The only reason I can see if because Kenzi isn’t in the series any more and they needed a “young” character to draw the fans back. No, it doesn’t work that way. You don’t bring back fans by losing one of the most popular characters in your series and replacing them with a character that is stereotypical, uninteresting, and is a one note wonder.

The idea that Dyson has a son is fine, I can see that and accept it as a possibility. But to make the son so opposite from the father to the level where it’s hard to see any real connections is… wrong. It smacks of tropes, of going for the easy way to a story, and leaving so much other story threads on the floor unused. And speaking of that, Evony and Vex returned this week… Why?

Vex appears for a cameo, really nothing more and the same can be said of Evony. They popped in for a few short lines and then were gone. Two strong well known characters become relegated to the level of background in the story and not much more. This was more true of Evony I will admit, but while there was some passion and things to answer to between Vex and Dyson, that just went over the wrong way. Evony was less…. her… this episode as well. It should not matter that she’s human now, she still is a threatening viper and there should be a sense of fear around her. Lauren’s entire “being cute” routine was a waste of time and only served to set up a couple of jokes that didn’t work at all. It was only in her last appearance in the episode that a glimmer of “Miss Evil” appeared. There needs to be more of that as a start with her character. As for Vex? He needs more Vex. More of the street smart joker that we’re all looking for. He didn’t quite come off as he has in the past and I do miss that.

Then we come to what seems to be a new trope in the series which boils down to “Bo will screw anything!” Bo’s been intimate with her Stepmother, with Dyson’s son,  so who’s next? I cannot accept that Bo would just “fall” for Mark no matter how much he “seemed” like Dyson. Bo has never been that out of touch or out of control before and it seems to be a ongoing thing that needs to be dealt with. This is a lame theme for Bo to follow with, there are other plots that need to be touched on and they are.

That brings me to the “Dyson figures out what’s going on, but at the moment of revelation, gets a phone call and leaves” plot. That was simply not a good way to end what was a well done series of plot connections that he worked out with Vex and Lauren’s help. If that thread gets forgotten in the next episode, then what was the point of this in the first place? It would have been just as useful to do the same thing as last season and “make” the portal that Bo’s Father needed appear. It took less time and seems to be doing the same thing really.

I found that a total of eight minutes, four with Dyson, two with Tamsin and Bo, two with Trick, Vex and Dyson, were all that I paid attention to in the episode. That’s never going to make sense, provide a focus, and make the episode meaningful. I hope it is the worst this year, truly, but we are wasting so much time in getting to episodes that actually matter in important and telling ways.

On to the characters in the episode…

Bo… A mix of Boffy with a side order of soap opera drama queen and a dash of sheer lack of knowing what the hell is going on around her. Just didn’t seem like Bo, was much too flighty and in the end just disappointing.

Dyson…Actually it was good to see Dyson’s passion in Hale’s memory. Of trying to put Vex’s feet to the fire and see what came of it. But in that also came some truths about him that have been hinted at, but never said. It was, as a whole, a Dyson centric episode and it did that well if the rest of the episode wasn’t.

Lauren. Why… why have her do that fake accent in the first place? It was the sour point of the episode and everything that happened with Evony was Lauren being so full of herself and having power over Evony that she thought nothing could happen. But that wasn’t going to last and didn’t either. I will admit that “Dirty Lauren” and her gun was funny and well done however. But Lauren wasn’t… strong in this episode and didn’t take control of things when she might have when Mark went off the rails.

Tamsin: Really the scenes with Tamsin being catty were about the best ones of her. There was a lot to like in Tamsin this episode, but there were a few moments where she rubbed me the wrong way and that took a lot of the good out of things too. She’s turning away from being “Blonde Kenzi” and that’s good.

Trick. Too little Trick again. The one scene with him talking to Vex and telling him what Dyson would do to him was priceless and I loved that. But with all of the things going on at the Dal Riata, Trick could have been around more than he was.

Vex. I have missed you. I really have. But I still am. Vex… wasn’t all Vex until the moment it mattered most. The seriousness of his situation with Dyson ripped a lot of what makes Vex so much fun to watch. I hope he returns and I do hope it’s for more and more often, than happened this week.

Evony: Evony wasn’t. The story played up she is human and took away the fact that she’s deadly no matter what she is. There was a hint of the old Morrigan at the end of the episode, one that has been dearly missed, and I hope returns.

Mark. Someone please shoot him and not with darts either. Bury his character, toss him away and please never speak of him again. He’s one of those characters to hate on sight and considering he’s connected so tightly to the main characters I fear he’s coming back. I can wait. Seriously. I can wait until the tenth season. (In other words, keep him away from me or I’ll shoot him myself. Or pitchfork him, but then I’ll be burning the pitchfork and him as well.)

Persephone: Blink and you miss her. Actually don’t and you’ll miss her. Nothing learned, nothing gained… Whole lot of nothing going on.

Hunter: Nutbar wacko with a bad hairdo.

Maggie. More interesting than Mark by 1000%. It’s a shame she didn’t survive the episode.

Ted. Bedwarmer with not much else to remember about him either.

The rest of the characters were… just there. Nothing more. The background was as interesting as they were at times which is a shame.

Just a disappointment again as a whole for this episode. There wasn’t a lot to like, to stay with and to enjoy. That worries me and I hope that it doesn’t continue much longer…


My Review of When God Opens a Window

Keeping my interest – 2 Pitchforks

Portrayal of a Succubus – 2 Pitchforks

Overall look and feel – 2 Pitchforks

Storyline – 2 Pitchforks

Main Characters – 3 Pitchforks

Mythos – 3 Pitchforks

Overall Rating – 2.3 Pitchforks out of 5


It is getting harder and harder to want to watch the series the season and that’s not good. There is so little of value, of purpose, of… interest. That investing the time to watch the show live when it airs seems like a waste. I can remember when I was looking forwards to watching the next episode but not now. Now I wonder about what else is on. I should be there, with the story, wanting to see what happens next, but the thrill seems to be leaving me and I don’t like it. I think with the addition of Mark in this episode the series went from focusing on the main cast to everything around them. The ensemble isn’t together any longer. The passion in the stories, the connections between the characters just seems wilting away.

The only thing that kept me in this episode were the little funny moments sprinkled through it. Moments where the characters we know and love came out for an instant before pulling away again. But otherwise the rest of the moments were stale, uninspiring and as such the episode felt like a time waster. As this is the last season, this never should have been. This episode should have been moving with purpose but instead we have teenage angst and a series of adults that can’t get themselves together. I’ve seen this sort of story before in 1980 teenage movies and I didn’t like them then and I don’t like them now.

Bo wasn’t all that much a Succubus again. She turned into a lost thing surrounded by choices and making some bad ones. If Bo has her Succubus mojo back, she’s lost a lot of her mind in this episode. From the first moment she “felt” something about Mark the alarms should have been going off but they didn’t. I cannot accept that in her case. Not with Bo being a Succubus. She’s come far enough in her story that she would know what Dyson “tastes” like and make the connection. Just written poorly I think.

It was nice to see the Dal and Bo’s place again and Lauren’s clinic was interesting as well. But the series keeps shooting in the dark, and while that makes the cast stand out, it causes unfamiliar locations to just… be murky. Not happy about this and I just don’t see why it has to be that way all of the time it seems.

With the exception of the Vex and Evony storylines, there wasn’t much in the plots that I cared about. Mark’s plot was time wasted most of all on a character that was dropped into the series and won’t be there long enough to make a real impact. Focusing the entire episode on him, most of all, took out so much time from the other plots that needed more time to develop. The imbalance was really clear to see and bothered a me a lot during the viewing.

I will say that the episode being, as a whole, Dyson centric was a good idea, but I can’t see the point to introducing a son. I can see the point of Dyson coming to terms with Vex, to figure out a mystery. I can see that well enough. So why add so much bad with his son? Tamsin as a character became more “alive” this episode, Bo didn’t. Lauren was far too off key, Trick wasn’t there long. The only characters that really gain a lot in this episode were Vex and Evony, more Vex I think, I’d like to know where that goes.

The series mythos grew a bit, both character wise and theme wise. The “Fae Kryptonite” was really interesting and the mystery of the markings on the bodies is still unfolding. There was a lot of good, solid, development in the universe that I think worked. The problem was to get to that, you needed to wade through the teenager angst and get past a character that sucked the life from the episode. I still do not believe this needed to turn out this way and I wonder how things might have been if Kenzi where still there.

Oh, but I know. Better. A lot more so. The series lost a lot more of its focus this week, and the problems of the past are getting more and more as time goes on. The core theme this season needed to be more out front but wasn’t. I fear this will be coming back to haunt the series before the curtain falls…


Next Week: It’s Your Lucky Fae

When an oracle goes missing, Bo poses undercover on a Fae dating website to lure the suspect out of hiding.

So there’s a Fae Harmony site? F-Harmony? eFarmony? I shudder at the possibilities.  I do wonder how Bo will be drawn into this mess, for one, but I am more uncertain with how this episode connects with the next one. All of the “moving things forward” plots have been shown in the last five minutes of the last two episodes. At least they had a tenuous connection to the main story, if barely but still. So how does it work with this summary? There’s another thing that bothers me and it’s a bigger problem.

According to the IMDb, Mark is back next week. I hate to say it, but I hope he’s cannon fodder or something so I’ll be put out of my misery watching him on the screen. I don’t honestly look forward to seeing Dyson and Mark “bond” or Bo winding up in bed with Mark again.  Been there, done that, have the bumper sticker and the lunch box. It will not gain any points with me the longer he is on the screen because I will just keep comparing him to Kenzi and he’s never going to measure up. And if Mark does buy the farm, I hope there isn’t a ten minute long cry session between him and Dyson and Bo that ends with Mark saying “Dad” and then dying in Dyson’s arms. Going that far into this trope would mark the end of my watching the series…

Okay, not really, but I don’t want to start giving out single pitchforks for an episode. That would hurt far too much when I think back on the second season most of all. You know, at the beginning of this season there was this thread of a plot, you might remember it, in which Bo’s Father was trying to get out of Hel and Bo was possibly going to be the Dark Queen. I seem to recall that was supposed to be the core of this season. If we are really lucky, maybe that will happen next episode.

But it won’t, not from that episode description. No, what we are going to have is another side plot that eats up a lot of time, does nothing and goes nowhere, and in the end we are left with nothing of note actually going on. I really hope I’m wrong, more than I can say. It’s a shame that the series  is turning so… soap opera… all of a sudden and I don’t see why it needed to.

However, it does keep the popcorn suppliers in the black so… That has to be worth something…




    • avatar
    • James on January 3, 2015 at 11:00 am

    If Mark is supposed to replace Kenzi then this is the way for the writers to get Bo in bed with Kenzi!

    Now that I have nauseated you: for all that you say sticking a young character into a series to hold the youth crowd “just doesn’t work,” it does, all too often. It must, or why would lazy writers keep going to that well?

    The writers have no idea what to do with the series (my guess). They didn’t have much idea last season, but they need five seasons for syndication viability. So, trash with a lot of sex and some violence in it will get us through . . . what, thirteen episodes? Continuing my guess, they have a plan for the finale that involves Persephone, Vex, Evony, and the Fae Kryptonite, so those will all be in front of us, along with the supposed intrigue of a secret between Bo and Dyson, all to scatter through another eight or nine episodes ’til they get to end this thing and start collecting their residuals.

    My one, faint hope? Kenzi will return in that finale, and she will be the cavalry riding over the hill as the true succubi (yes, I chose that word), and it will turn out that Bo is her weak-assed tail-self, whom Kenzi now reigns in as she restores order.

    • avatar
    • Pocong on January 5, 2015 at 2:45 pm

    Geeze was Mark a shitkid. I don’t know what the writers were thinking when they added him since the final season of a series isn’t a great time to be making new characters. The thing I hate most about him though is the way he’s ruined Bo’s character. I don’t care how good the shitkid tastes, he’s still a kid and the kid of one of your exes at that! Sleeping with your ex-boyfriend’s teenage son is one of the most creepariffic things I’ve ever heard and it isn’t something that I could see Bo or even Boffy ever doing! I hope he dies just so that “Memetic Molester Bo” doesn’t become a thing.

    • avatar
    • TeraS on January 26, 2015 at 1:31 am

    Somehow I think that your ending is about ten times ten the quality of what will be…


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