Feb 12 2012

A Review of The Witch and the Incubus by Ally Mauser

I have to admit that short stories about Succubi and Incubi are the rule and not the exception. I understand that and I try to keep that in mind when I read such works. The problem becomes when the story isn’t done well or just leaves the story for the sex instead.

I like story with the heat. And having sex without really explaining why and who and how it comes to be? That bothers me a lot… More than I like to admit actually…

The Witch and the Incubus by Ally Mauser

The Witch and the Incubus by Ally Mauser

The story is about:

A powerful, ancient, and beautiful witch knows it is time to harvest the incubus boy’s sexual energy. It should be a routine seduction, but something unexpected happens.

This is a very, very short story. The characters are barely fleshed out, the reasons for what happens are so thinly explained that for the most part they aren’t.

It bothers me that all of the characters feel like cardboard cutouts. They are so flimsy in their actions that it makes the entire work feel like the author had an idea for a story and wrote a short summary of it, then published that instead of the actual story.

The work needs an editor. There are several words that are placed in the story that do not belong there. For example the word “mike” is used in one sentence that should have used “milk” instead. There are also a number of tense problems in the story that were jarring as well.

The surprise in the story, when it appears, is not exactly well done at least to me. Not going to reveal it here, but honestly I think that the resolution of the work could have been written better, explained more, and made me actually care about what happens to each of the characters.

The incubus in the story is young. The witch believes that he is seventeen at first, but that isn’t right and his true age is eighteen which, for me personally, made the story a little easier to read. While some oblique references are made to his powers and physical attributes, there isn’t much else that we learn about him. The information, when it is given, is in a sort of scattergun approach of little bits of information and then we move directly from that to what the witch is thinking and trying to accomplish.

But then this isn’t meant to be a long story or something that is more than a stroke story for the most part.

The sex scenes were for me superficial. Not that hot and not that interesting to me personally, but then I don’t particularly like the kind of sex that was prevalent in this work. That’s my personal issue and I am sure that there are people out their that will disagree with me…

But that’s a manner of opinion and this is all mine isn’t it?

I’ll give this work one out of five pitchforks.

Too short, too rushed, was not honestly that interesting to me to read… But then it was a short read wasn’t it?



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