Dumb April Fools Joke Release

Probably one of the dumbest ever April Fools jokes…

Is this press release found here:

Succubi In Heat

<rolls eyes>


I know sex sells but yeesh… Succubi in heat? Oy…

Here’s the whole release….


Announcing Dominions 4: Succubi In Heat!

Next Chapter In Award Winning Fantasy Strategy Title Coming Soon!

Shrapnel Games and Illwinter Game Design are pleased — nay, giddy like schoolgirls at a High School Musical concert — to announce that work has begun on the next installment of the award-winning, fan favorite, Emmy nominated Dominions series. Dominions 4: Succubi In Heat is now entering beta and is expected to go gold fourth quarter 2008. That’s later this year kids so start saving up those nickels and dimes!

As expected Dominions 4: Succubi In Heat will be available for all major operating systems so whether you’re a Windows user, Mac user, or Linux user you’ll be able to get your Dominions experience on. In addition for the first time a Dominions game will also be made available on mobile devices (including the telegraph) and a specially designed version for fax play. No more will you have an excuse to not be playing Dominions, now you can play at home, work, on the bus, or even when taking the Pony Express!

This next chapter boasts all the features and gameplay elements you love, but turned up to eleven! There are now over six hundred playable nations, such as:

  • MA Ulm Suffering From A Mid-Life Crisis: It’s just like regular MA Ulm but now everyone has a Corvette.

  • Inviso-Nation: No, we didn’t forget to do the graphics, all your units are invisible.

  • LA CTD: Can you finish your turn or will you get the blue screen of death? Ooo, feel the excitement!

  • And yes, there are now thousands of new units, magic items, and spells (including well over two hundred cantrips) to choose from. Some previews include:

  • Idiot Game Reviewer (Unit): When unleashed the greasy lonely monstrosity attacks that which he doesn’t understand, while screaming about how great Halo is.

  • Lactose Intolerant (Spell): Give your enemies the gift of an upset stomach when they drink milk or eat cheese. Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

  • Velvet Running Suit (Magic Item): Damn society, drape your pretender in velvet!

Dominions 4: Succubi In Heat also boasts a brand new ASCII based graphics engine and a totally new combat system that puts YOU into the game! Called the Live Action Magical Engine Combat System, LAME works by the use of RFID chips. Each game comes with a thousand of these, easily attached to clothing through a velcro backing. When you enter combat you simply attach the RFID chips to a thousand of your closest friends, find a large open area, and then attack each other. The chips then transmit the coordinates and actions to the game’s server, which then in turn translates it to the battle screen. Now YOU’RE in command of the battle!

As amazing as the LAME system is, Shrapnel Games and Illwinter Game Design will be pushing into new frontiers with the delivery system of Dominions 4: Succubi In Heat. Physical media? Pssh, that’s so 20th century. Digital delivery? Bah, old news. How about In House Coding?

With In House Coding Illwinter Game Design will come to your house and personally code Dominions 4: Succubi In Heat onto your machine! No more having to keep track of your CDs or registration codes! Best of all, for an extra twenty bucks, they’ll add in your own personal multiplayer cheat codes so that everyone can be a winner!

Stay tuned for more information on what will be the smash hit of 2008 as it becomes available. In the meantime you might want to head on over to www.shrapnelgames.com  and check out our award-winning line of independent strategy and niche titles that you can play right now. Games such as Weird Worlds: Return to Infinite Space, winSPWW2, Air Assault Task Force, Scallywag: In the Lair of the Medusa, and many more. All have nifty little demos you can download, and some titles are even available for free!


1 comment

    • avatar
    • James on April 2, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    I would hate to ever disagree with you, Majesty, but may I most humbly suggest that this is not worth even a roll of your magnificent green eyes? It is so clearly a satire article, and it seems so clear to me that the author considers anybody who would create such a game to be a jerk, that I’m sure there was no intent to support the idea of succubi as sex objects, any more than “The Producers” or “Hogan’s Heroes” intended to glorify Nazis.

    Of course, this is still an unnecessary mention of succubi that is not even worthy of our attention, but not everyone in the world gets to live in the glorious glow of your Enlightenment.

    Please do not be too annoyed with me for such impertinence, Majesty, nor cast me out of the glory of your presence for too long, lest I wither and die (though I could probably use a bit of withering).

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