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To Be Love
|To Be Love|
|Series||The Chateau Aensland Saga|
July 15, 2007 -|
March 15, 2009
|Media type||Online HTML|
|Preceded by||The Vertical Event|
|Followed by||Children of the Mist|
To Be Love is the fourth story in the Chateau Aensland saga. Having not yet found her final daughter, Lilith is nevertheless forced to awaken her children from their eternal slumber because of Danny's nightmare. She then comes to terms with the realization that the only way for Danny to be happy is to take his memories from him. She must do this before Danny surrenders to the despair of his past life and dies.
The story is named for a verse from a poem Maria claims Danny wrote for her in the distant past.
Warning: If you have yet to read the series, the following would be considered spoilers.
- named for: Cake, "Sheep Go to Heaven", about the banality of daily life and modern religion.
Sandy awakens painfully, feeling an ache in her back. She sees Julie up as well, receiving directions from Mommy, and then sends Julie to the shower with her other sisters. She then tells Sandy what's going on; she's had to wake her children up early, because of the nightmare Danny created. She then gives Sandy a direction; she touches her nether regions, and says the sensation will continue to grow and only Danny can relieve it. She says Sandy must care for Danny, particularly in lovemaking; that she must allow him to make love to her whenever he wishes. Sandy agrees and Mommy reminds her that when she climaxes, it will be for her Mommy. Sandy falls asleep, overwhelmed by the ache.
Elsewhere, we seem to see Vera handling her last Puzzle Fighter tournament. Then, Lilith awakens Danny. Danny wakes up next to Sandy, and they shower together, snuggled up close. As if in a dream, they slip from the shower to bed together, and Danny falls asleep once more. Vera's head aches, but she is approached after the tournament by its winner, Alex Valle, who thanks her for the tournament. She ponders giving him a job. Danny awakens, still inside Sandy, and sees Julie, who he doesn't remember at first. Julie tells Danny it's important that he try not to do too much for the next week or so. He needs to get better quickly so she can beat him at Puzzle Fighter again. Danny thinks he can look forward to games as long as it's with her. Julie leaves quietly, feeling a bit envious of Sandy and Danny. Then Sandy stirs, and they make love dream-like once more.
Up in the Air
- named for: Lisa Loeb, "I Do", about finally being able to separate yourself from a dysfunctional relationship.
Julie is practicing Puzzle Fighter, feeling unhappy and missing Danny, when Maria approaches her, saying that it's time - Julie has decided to voluntarily forget her memories of her past life. She takes her to Ruby, who has a hard time healing her; she tells Maria it's too soon, but Maria disagrees. Ruby then tells Julie she's trying too hard to forget the wrong memories, and she should focus on remembering the right ones - calling to mind her shared dream with Danny. Julie then becomes dispossessed of her body and goes to where Danny is, seeing him sleeping with Sandy. She then thinks of Mommy, and goes to where Vera is - at Julie's old house. Vera is considering taking some items back with her, and Julie tells her that she doesn't want to remember, and she just wants her mother back. Julie then feels better, and she, Ruby and Maria spend time with Lupe, who drugs her food and tickles her. Meanwhile, Danny's body suffers complications - his arm suffers an infiltration which Sandy promptly takes care of by putting a hot compress on it and giving him pills to help him rest. While Danny sleeps, his guardian angel regains grace, and is given the power to watch over Danny's thoughts once more.
Memories are Forever
- named for: Tiffany, "All This Time", a song about an amicable "goodbye" between two lovers.
Danny awakens confused, with Sandy at his side. She admits that she couldn't bear to leave him while his body was suffering, and then finds that Danny has forgotten about his past life. She tells him about his illness and the dialysis that he had to go through, which makes Danny despair fearing that the events of "The Vertical Event" were real. Sandy calms him down by describing the bruise in his arm and reassuring him that his parents wanted him to be safe. She reminds Danny that they're both immortal and that they'll take it one day at a time. She then tells Danny she wants to go down on him, but Danny refuses, saying he wants to hold her while they make love, and he reminisces on his past with her. Meanwhile, Vera enters the National Institutes of Health with her personal assistant and recovers Danny's teddy bear that he had left there the last time he went there. Once it's recovered, Julie comes across Sandy, wishing to be with her.
Captives Own the Masters
- named for: Black Star, "Thieves in the Night", about the illusion of masculine strength.
Danny has a nightmare of his dialysis and worries that he's sick again. He checks his arm, which is still swollen and he is forced to hold it against his body. He is awakened by Maria, and asks her questions about whether this is real or a dream. Maria replies with lines from a poem that she says he wrote for her. He doesn't remember, but she does. She says it's been over 2000 years since they were last together. As they wander the Chateau, Danny realizes that he hasn't had to go to the bathroom since he arrived, and asks if they're dead. Maria shows Danny the same garden she showed Julie, and gives him the same choice - to select and smell, but not pick, a flower. He at first wants to smell the daisy, but then is drawn to the crysanthemum. He smells it, but cannot detect a scent. Maria tells Danny more lines from the poem, and tells him that her flower is the lotus. She then has him meet her blood sisters, Ruby and Lupe, who heal him of his toxicity and guilt. He has flashbacks of his first lover, a girl named Tina Minthorne. Meanwhile, Vera visits the grave of Daniel, and encounters Tina there as well.
In Cautious Tones
- named for: Billy Joel, "And So It Goes", a song about a man's search for companionship in a never-changing life.
Danny feels strange in a world without the need for time, and has a dream of him at his mother's tombstone, saying he'll do what he believes in no matter what. It is then he hears a strong voice for the first time which makes him afraid and awakens him. He's sleeping next to Maria, who is also awakening, and says they are feeling the same thing - Mommy's returning. Maria tells Danny that they need to shower together, and after that, they dress simply and convene with their sisters to meet Lilith. Lilith drifts them all into a trance, and Danny is taken to Glynis' mind room for what he believes is the last time. After Glynis and Danny reassure each other, Danny is revisited by the ghosts of his past, which cause him to despair again. It is then that Lilith realizes what she has to do for the peace of her son and of her family: take Danny's memories away.
Surrender Without a Prayer
Danny, now with no memory, is reacquainted with Lilith, Julie and Maria, who offers Danny the opportunity to regain his memories, which he quietly accepts. Nine months later, Tina waits at Danny's grave, but no one comes.