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Succubus Noir: Tearing The Veil (eBook)
|Succubus Noir: Tearing The Veil|
Succubus Noir: Tearing The Veil eBook Cover, written by Christiane Pelletier
Amazon Digital Services|
|Publication date||September 19, 2015|
|Followed by||Succubus Noir II: Learning The Ropes|
Succubus Noir: Tearing The Veil is an eBook written by Christiane Pelletier. It is the first work in the Succubus Noir series by this author. In this work the characters Keri Linsey and Mistress Calypso are Succubi.
- Title: Succubus Noir: Tearing The Veil
- Author: Christiane Pelletier
- Published By: Amazon Digital Services & Smashwords
- Length: 34 Pages
- Format: eBook
- ASIN: B01CEPADVO
- ISBN: 9781311472892
- Publishing Date: September 19, 2015
Other Works in this Series on SuccuWiki
Keri Linsey is an ex cop, private investigator. She is working on a case involving a cheating wife and a jealous husband. Like things weren't complicated enough she's also struggling with certain needs that are waking inside her. Will she be able to control her dark desires or will she become a Succubus unleashed?
The following review was originally published by Tera on her Blog, A Succubi's Tale on March 6, 2016
Keri hasn’t been feeling well for some time now and things are getting worse. But she still has a job to do and in the process of doing so she discovers she isn’t sick, she needs to feed. A succubus alone in the world can find herself being the prey of others. But Keri herself isn’t easy prey too.
The concept of this work, Keri herself, and the appearance of a certain Mistress towards the end of the story are all very interesting and hold a lot of promise. Keri is a strong character, trying to keep things together as best she can. The work tells the tale of her coming to learn she is a succubus, what a small part of her powers are and then being offered a choice.
The problem with this work really comes to the editing and how the work reads more than anything else. It needs at least two more editing passes to remove a lot of awkward sentences, dialogue and action. The writing is very uneven, tending to shift back and forth in tense and perspective more than it really should have, if at all.
The erotica is somewhat hot, being a pair of short hot flashes among the rest of the work. There’s an air of BDSM as well during the erotica. A small hint of a succubus using her powers on others comes along, but it’s fleeting as a whole. There’s really no passion, no direction, no meaning or focus in the erotica which in a lot of ways reflects the balance of the work.
Besides Keri, another character is a succubus, but she appears fleetingly at the end of the work, offers a hint of what comes next in the story, and then the work closes with a promise of something more to come. Her character is vague, not really fleshed out clearly, but seems to be a focal point of the story, and series, going forwards.
Somewhat confused in the storytelling, much like Keri and some of the other characters, the work offers a path for the series to take, if that ever happens. The ending comes quickly, much like many of the characters do, and when the work closes, the main question comes to one of, what was the point?
There’s quite a lot of world building character-wise, which was fine, save for the need to edit it. The author really needs to do so and take some care in what they are writing. There is a story here, one that interests me, but the read isn’t smooth or clear. It needs to be so.
Two out of five pitchforks.
The work needs a serious editing to make the dialogue more real, more focused and more believable. The numerous spelling mistakes and grammar errors have to be dealt with. If that was done, and the work read better, that would make a huge difference.
Keeping in mind that this review is based on the first release of this work, and that I have not purchased the reissue, I’m going to assume that the author did something to make it read better than it was. The work ends such that there should be a part two and I will be looking for that.
There’s something interesting here to be found. It is the flaws that smother it.