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Tired

Tired
By TeraS

 

There comes a time when one’s soul is worn. That can be due to any number of reasons, expectations, needs, wants or, more often than not, simply a point at which one’s soul, no matter how well intentioned, cannot give anything more.

It is, to be blunt, when one is tired.

However, Tera wasn’t a soul willing to say she was ‘tired’ as an excuse. Being who she was, it was perfectly acceptable for her to put her head down, gather her strength and keep pushing onwards.

Of late, the Realm had faced a moment which had cut deeply into Tera, her Eternal, and all of their family. A loss had been suffered, one that Tera knew, fully well, was going to be with her and those she loved for the rest of time. She didn’t want to say she was tired—not exactly—so, when she was asked how she was, her answer was to smile, wave the question off, and then focus herself upon the soul that had asked the question.

She might be tired, but she would manage.

This was how she explained things to everyone that asked the question of her. The slight dip in her tail, the wan smile on occasion when she thought no one was looking, however, couldn’t hide the truth from those that knew her well.

She was tired.

The offers of help, of taking some of the load from her shoulders, were, of course, kindly refused. She couldn’t possibly ask of others to do the things she needed to do. After all, the Queen of the Realm couldn’t possibly allow herself to be tired, to falter … to be … less than perfect, after all.

But she was tired.

She’d push herself to the limit and then some, for that was how her mind worked, of course. It didn’t matter that some mornings she didn’t want to get out of bed. Or that, one afternoon, she found herself curled up on the leather couch in her office.

She was tired, so the Receptionist didn’t wake her.

When Tera awoke, somewhat miffed at herself for resting for a time, the Receptionist replied: “You were tired. I took care of things.” Being pushed out the door and sent home was a surprise. But she was tired and Tera couldn’t quite manage to be that upset with her.

She was tired, and that took a bit out of her.

She was surprised to find her Heart waiting outside for her. When she asked why he was there, his answer—“You’re tired. I’ll drive”—was one with which she couldn’t argue. She curled up beside him, sleeping as he drove her home.

She was tired, too tired to drive herself.

She stirred when he gently touched her hand—they had arrived home—but she didn’t wake. She didn’t notice the door being opened, her Eternal thanking her Heart for looking after them both. She wasn’t really aware of being carried inside, either. When one is very tired, one simply is.

And she was tired … very tired.

She didn’t wake when her Eternal laid her in bed, but she knew when he curled up with her. Her breathing calmed when their souls touched, their heartbeats matched, and they both managed to fall asleep.

They were both tired, even if they didn’t want to admit it.

It is a strength to give of oneself selflessly, but it is not selfish to admit to the ones you love that you are tired. They are there to help, to love, to support, and to be there. Being tired isn’t an excuse not to ask. Accepting the help of those that love you is not being poor in one’s soul.

Even Tera can accept that … eventually.

Though she will try to repay that kindness twice over, though she will work herself to the edge and beyond in order to make up all that she feels that she needed to do. Being tired is only for this moment and not in the thing that matters the most.

Even so, she and her Eternal will awaken to some nice salads, a carafe of iced tea, and some cookies, all in a basket on their porch, along with huggles from her heart.

Her love will never be tired … neither will the love of all those around her.