There is a fine line between a story of erotica and a story that consists of a series of sex scenes loosely tied together. Sex alone isn’t a story, nor is anything connected with sex that exists for little more than being a means for the sex to happen.
Telling a story, at least one that has more promise than character after character being pulled into some variation of a D/s scene, even with some mind control attached to it, needs a plot. It also needs characters that develop more than just being sex toys. Porn alone isn’t erotica, there needs to be some substance as well and a story that wants to go somewhere along the way.
- Title: Seduced by the Sex Demon!
- Author: Veronica Sloan
- Length: 26 Pages
- IBSN: 9781370837977
- Publishing Date: August 18, 2016
- This work at Smashwords.com
The work tells the story of:
When a magic ritual goes wrong, meek Jeffrey Corven is possessed by an unstoppable sex demon. Feeding on human lust and looking for a devilishly good time, the demon sets out to seduce every woman in Jeffrey’s life. Powerless to resist Jeff’s hellish mind control, they are filled with only one desire: Total submission to his lust!
Jeff’s wife ropes him into performing a summoning, but it goes wrong and Jeff is possessed by an incubus with one thing in mind. Fulfilling that need means many around Jeff will find their secrets revealed and they being at the mercy of the incubus as well.
Overall this work is more focused on a series of porn-like sex scenes that really didn’t have a lot of heat for me in them. The core plot has some promise at the beginning but once the transformation aspect is finished there’s just no real plot or character development outside of drawing as many people as possible into the clutches of the incubus along the way.
There is a bit of mind control, some domination, some shaming and so forth. Every encounter mainly focuses on the incubus toying with those around him before bending their wills and making them dance to his needs. This does lead into some darker tones for the story from time to time. However, overall, the scenes push towards the limits of hidden needs and the collapse of the characters to the incubus.
The writing is a little bit rough, reading very much like a porn movie in the dialogue. The overall story could use some polishing to leave some of the rough edges out and actually focus upon more storytelling than outright sex scenes. The opening chapter offers some interesting themes to draw upon, but it never really takes that turn.
I couldn’t really find my way into this work because the characters didn’t interest me, the sex, not erotica, had very little heat, and the soul of the story just didn’t have a chance to play with the characters themselves. Admittedly, the author attempts to tell some story, but having the main character act as if they are omnipotent, then force others to do their bidding doesn’t quite work when the character themselves are, as a whole, completely unlikeable.
The idea of this work is a good one and I think it has some promise. Seemingly this work is the first in a series and there is something to be said about the concept. It’s getting to the core of the story beyond the almost childish telling of the erotica where things fall down and need help.
Two and a half out of five pitchforks.
The work is just too much porn and not enough story. There wasn’t very much to hold my interest and beyond that the characters weren’t much more than a means for a series of sex scenes that didn’t have any heat to speak of.