Nov 06 2016

A Review of Making The Incubus by Benedict Palantine

Making The Incubus by Benedict Palantine

Making The Incubus by Benedict Palantine

There is a difference between telling a story and simply describing it. Focusing on action rather than plot or experience rather than developing the characters can be an issue. Beyond that, telling the story in a series of long, never ending pages without a break, or paragraph for that matter, strains one’s ability to comprehend what is going on.

Telling a story well can be done with some care. Spelling, grammar, chapters that have a purpose will help in that. But more so, actually telling a story that’s more than describing the sex, more than a series of commentary amongst the porn scenes, leads to something far more interesting.

The work tells of:

Steven Bridemoore never considered himself special. He was strong and handsome with a powerful libido, but all of this seemed fairly commonplace. Now that he is captive to a hyper-sexual coven of demon Succubae, he is learning a lot about himself. The questions continue to torment him, though. Will his body be able to hold up under his new and raging hunger? Will his psyche remain intact as the new and addictive pleasures consume him? Forced onto this path by his wickedly seductive Mistress, he has no choice but to give in and follow it through. He wavers in and out of consciousness with each awakening bringing about new hungers and new overwhelming pleasure. Will he survive being made Incubus?

Steven awakes to find himself at the tender mercies of a group of succubi with one thing in mind. They need an incubus to help them survive and he seems to be the right man to be transformed. Piece by piece he’s changed, altered, becoming something more than he was, but along the way, there are always stumbling blocks and problems to overcome.

The work is, at its core, a story that wants to tell about a man being pleasured, over and over again, by succubi until he goes over the edge and becomes an incubus. At least that’s what seems to be going on, but it’s hard at times to be really sure about that. The story wanders in many directions, characters pop in and out, side stories appear without any reason why they matter. There are quite a number of spelling and grammar mistakes, the dialogue reads very oddly as well. The characters are skimmed over, there’s no development save for the occasional commentary about the characters.

What is the hardest thing however is how this author presented their story. Each chapter is, for the most part, one long, never ending paragraph. A wall of text that goes on and on, never breaking into smaller, more understandable paragraphs. Perspectives change, events unfold, scenes change and it all happens in that wall of text. That hurts the story, makes it hard to keep one’s place in it, and by the time the ending appears, I was left wondering just want was going on.

There is quite a lot of repetition as well, some lines are repeated, some characters do the same thing over and over again. The story isn’t really erotic as such. The erotica is skimmed over, as is much of the overall detail in this work. Yhe transformation seems to be more mental than it is physical as well. The succubi aren’t interesting as a whole, though the main lead character succubus herself has some promise as a narrator as an aside.

The story is told in a rush, almost like a summary of events. It’s a shame because some of the points that come up would have made for interesting chapters on their own, but the author moves far too quickly onto the next thing to be shown and leaves those plots to be forgotten. There is a story here, but what this work projects is something like a overview of a larger work, telling of the highlights, mostly sexual, occasionally plot and character ones.

The work needs a serious editing, the wall of text has to go, the dialogue needs to be improved, the characters need to be developed. The transformational aspects of the story need to be told more, the change in the main character should be more focused on. The side story that appears need not be, at least in how it was told, for it didn’t seem to matter at all, or make a lot of sense.

In short, the story needs to breath, to find itself. It’s not given that chance and that’s a shame because there are points that I thought had a lot of promise. Getting that promise out from under the lack of editing is where things start.

One pitchfork out of five.

The work is best described as a wall of text that needs a lot of editing and some kind of an attempt to tell a story rather than simply go on about sex. I think there’s a story here, at least there’s one trying to get out, but the presentation makes that difficult to comprehend.

Seemingly this is the first book of a series, but if the next work tells its story as this one did that will be a shame. Having a story to tell is one thing, telling it well is quite another. Care and effort can make that happen and I hope this author can do both.



Nov 05 2016

An artist’s succubus process YouTube

Another of the work in progress YouTubes I have been sharing on the Tale lately today. The thing about this one is that, I think, the artist might be confusing succubi and vampires just a touch. That’s not to say the art isn’t amazing, because it is. It’s just that, at least to me, I can’t quite see the succubus in this art all that easily…

If you cannot see this video on the Tale, please try this link:

The artist also placed the completed work on DeviantArt, which you can find here, but as always, here is the art in case the video, or the art itself, disappears…


Busty Succubus Girl by NoStylin

Busty Succubus Girl
by NoStylin

She really seems to have a more vampiric look, her teeth are really quite clear on that point I think. There is a bit of succubus in her through her wings, body shape, and clothing however. But it is her expression that pushes me towards thinking of her as more vampiric than succubish…

Perhaps a tail might have made the difference? I think it might have…



Nov 04 2016

A Review of Passion’s Price by Alana Church

Passion's Price by Alana Church

Passion’s Price by Alana Church

I’ve been captivated by The Succubus series by Alana Church from the beginning. I’ve loved each character, the love, the story, it’s been, in many ways, speaking to many of my personal beliefs about succubi. Today a review of the eighth work in the series, possibly the last, but, there is always hope isn’t there?

My first review is here, the second is here and my third review cab be found here. The fourth review can be found here on the Tale with the fifth review being here. My review sixth work in the series, is here and my review of the prior work in the series can be found here on the Tale.

We are nothing without hope. It is not love, nor need, nor life itself that gives a reason to be. Hope, in whatever form we need for our own souls to find peace, matters. Sometimes the greatest can lose hope and sometimes that hope is found anew in a soul that believes.

The work tells the story of:

The end has come. In the final chapter of our story, Althea, the immortal succubus, knows that the confrontation with the demon-spawn Kincaid is near. To lure him into their trap means putting the entire family in harm’s way. And even if she succeeds, will the love they all share survive? Because when all you hold dear is at risk, sometimes you have to pay…Passion’s Price.

Althea knows the time has come, her family is at risk, she must take up the mantle of protector once more. A sword alone isn’t enough to take into battle. The shield she carries is her love, her heart and soul. Her will demands she confront that which threatens all she cares for. But with all of that, there is one thing she cannot overcome, not without help, should she be willing to accept that which she’s denied for so long.

What strikes me the most about this work is that within the pages we see Althea at her best and at her worst. She’s forced to come to terms with the pain she’s been carrying inside for so long which results in what is, for her, the most heart wrenching moment of the series by far. She’s always loved Rachel, her family and Yasna, but she’s never really been able to have the one thing she’s been wanting for so long. It takes a lot to break that truth out of her and when it comes it makes total sense and explains much of her personality and drive.

In the same way, there are some telling moments for Rachel, Yasna, and the family as well. They face a hard fact, one they cannot avoid, and how each reacts was true to them all. Not everything is wonderful emotionally for them, but at the same time, there is a telling moment for each as a character, to push them towards a focal point and that was very interesting to me.

While there is conflict, the climax of the series takes place in a way that gave truth to the succubi, to those they face, and, at its core, the question they face. The answer to that question, the offering of a reason to be more than just “because Goddess says so” was all that I could have hoped for.

There are some lovely soft and passionate moments of erotica which give rise to some needed truths for two characters. Both were perfect in how they developed, gave rise to the story and didn’t take away, but rather added much to joining the pieces of Althea’s soul. There is humour, dearly needed with all of the seriousness that come in this part of  the series. The mixture of light and darker moments tells much about this universe, the souls within it, and in doing to makes the story become alive.

There are one or two little tiny editing mistakes, but they don’t take away from the passion, the story, or the characters. The series has remained true to the core plot, the characters themselves and in this work the ending brings about a satisfying conclusion.

There are, of course, some story plots left open, the appearance of two characters that made me smile, one in particular for which I was thrilled beyond words to see. The emotional connection is delightful, the resolution of Althea’s arc made compete sense. Most of all, the gift which appears, in all of its forms, is one that’s perfect in so many important ways.

I’ve loved the series from the beginning, I love it even more now. Althea, Yasna, Rachel and her family are dearly loved for all they represent and have been. One of the most delightful, passionate series about succubi that I’ve read in some time. I dearly hope Althea’s story will continue, but if not, knowing her has been a dear pleasure to me.

Five out of five pitchforks.

Everything that I could have hoped for, an ending that I loved dearly and spoke to me in a way that only those that know me will understand. While this is billed as the last work in this series, there is a bit of hope in the words “The last? work” which I dearly hope that this isn’t.

Althea has something to live for again. There is hope again for her, more than she’s known in so long. I’d like to see that story told. I’d like to know more about her sisters, whether the redhead or the raven haired one doesn’t matter, it would be nice to know more about them. There are doors open to tell more about Althea’s world, her life, her past and future.

Promise. That’s what this series has and perhaps, in time, the author will tell more. I, for one, will be watching with joy and love always…



Nov 04 2016

A Review of Jasmine’s Incubus by Dixie Richards

Jasmine's Incubus by Dixie Richards

Jasmine’s Incubus by Dixie Richards

The telling of a story matters. Editing out the flaws, making the dialogue sing makes a real difference. Clunky prose leads to taking away heat when it is needed, power when it must be. The point of writing is to express oneself, but if one can’t find the means, then one needs to revise and revise more.

There are times when the power of seduction we have is tempered by the need to survive. It is there, but awaits the key to set it free. Sometimes that key is finding the will to just be and be with.

  • Title: Jasmine’s Incubus
  • Author: Dixie Richards
  • Length: 37 Pages
  • Publishing Date: April 24, 2016
  • This work at

It is the story of:

A shy but sexy New York journalist discovers her inner sex goddess with some supernatural help from the other side.

Jasmine has a problem. It isn’t her job, which she is succeeding at. It isn’t her friends, who she adores. The problem is a lack of self belief in having the power to seduce, to be the woman she has hidden inside. A chance encounter turns out to be something more and then when the bonds are broken, Jasmine’s inner Domme doesn’t want to hide any more. She wants it all.

The story is, overall, focused on Jasmine rediscovering her own sexual power which she’s hidden away, not having the time, or the self-belief, in acting upon her own needs, wants and desires. From the beginning it’s cleat that she wants to be more sexually active, in control, but she simply doesn’t take the lead, or chance.

The change comes when she encounters a man, several times, in a train and over time her sexual needs grow, her self-doubt weakens and she has her way with him. The erotica is a light bit of a D/s sex play scene which isn’t over done and by the end of it, Jasmine’s changed, but doesn’t quite understand why.

Eventually she learns that the reason comes from her bedding an Incubus, and that is where the story turned to being very interesting for me. The incubus, Lilu, isn’t stereotypical nor is his kind, and I throughly enjoyed the way in which that was explained and what it meant. Lilu doesn’t have any horns, tail or wings, but he’s sexually powerful, and dominant to a point.

But he isn’t so much that he cannot give Jasmine control and that was different than a lot of similar incubus works of late. Both characters are empowers, both have their moments of control, both give to the other’s needs. That is where the real heat in this work comes from. The understanding that it isn’t your own release that matters, it’s both.

Both Jasmine and Lilu are interesting, well fleshed out characters. There’s quite a lot of development for Jasmine and towards the end of the work, there’s a bit for Lilu as well. The ending leaves something unique that I wish the author had played with further, but does not, the story coming to a somewhat abrupt ending, but leaving the door open for something to come further as well.

However, with all that’s good, interesting, and more in this work, the problem is, as happens a lot, editing. There are some really silly mistakes that were not corrected, these cropping up from the first page and then scattered throughout. There are some tense issues, such as “meet” instead of “met”. There are some words that don’t fit, though they seem sound like they do. The dialogue at times is a little clunky, not “sounding” right in tone, almost like someone was reading lines from a play rather than being in a life and living it.

One more editing pass might have helped some. I think it would have. Speaking the dialogue out loud might have shown how odd it was at times. As well, reading the story out loud in its entirety well could have given the author a clue that their pose was slightly stilted and awkward. All of this is a shame because the underlying story has heat, is imaginative, and I think with some improvements to the tone of the storytelling could have been so much more hotter. Heat isn’t everything of course, but making the work sing leads to so much more and it’s there to be found.

Three and a half out of five pitchforks.

The work needs one more editing pass, just to clean things up and to make this work more what it tries to be. The ending leaves something to be desired, the telling of just who Lilu is needs to be deepened. Perhaps it is a question of smoothing out the bumps more than anything else.



Nov 03 2016

Succubi Image of the Week 459

A sharply contrasted image of a Succubus this week on the Tale. Sometimes there is a piece of arty that has one thing about it that holds you. A little splash of colour perhaps. The expression of the subject within the art itself. Occasionally there is just something that whispers there is more, to keep looking… I think this week’s art has that…

Succubus by thefireis

Succubus by thefireis

This work is called Succubus and is by the artist thefireis on DeviantArt. You can find the original page with this art here and the artist’s page can be found here.

I feel like there is a longing in her thoughts and expression. As if she is feeling that little heart, the only colour here, just floating out of reach. Wanting to feel needing to touch the emotions that are held within it, but being forever just out of her grasp.

The other way I look at this art, and it is a bit biased, is that she feels the heart in her horns and, being that horns are an erogenous zone for succubi, she’s just on the edge of an orgasm. I like this second thought more and the way her lips are parted and her eyes are… i think this might be the more likely…

It’s a thought…



Nov 02 2016

Shiny is a good place to start for a costume after all…

Demon Devil CostumeSometimes the best costumes start with a basic dress with a few well chosen accessories to make it something a little bit more special. Occasionally, that takes looking into a custom made costume from far away and then finding things closer to home to finish things up…

Mainly because the accessories that are included aren’t all they could be.

This is called the Demon Devil Costume and it comes with the dress, the horns the model is wearing, the armlets and the pitchfork she is holding.

Shoes are not included, and it can be found for $40 US.

Obviously the horns do not match the dress, not to mention they really aren’t anything special. The pitchfork is one of the ones I really do not like as well. The choice of heels the model is wearing looks quite out of place.

Setting aside a lot of the things I don’t like here, I actually think the dress itself is quite interesting. It has a very “Oriental” cut and style which does look quite nice.

Some better heels, a pair of horns that are more in tune with the costume would be good as well. Red heels, not black, obviously, would also be a good addition to this.

As an aside, really this dress could be used in a few other costume concepts I think and as such, it’s a bit less of a Devil costume and perhaps something else.

I’ll give this two and a half out of five pitchforks.

It is interesting, there’s something here to work with. But as happens a lot, what I’m looking for isn’t in this.



Nov 01 2016

A Review of Sealed with a Kiss by Natalie Severine and Eric Severine

Sealed with a Kiss by Natalie Severine and Eric Severine

Sealed with a Kiss by Natalie Severine and Eric Severine

I’m rather sad as I write this review today as one of my favourite series of the year has come to a close. There are some characters that simply find their way into your heart and their story holds you always.

This, the thirteenth and final review of the Lily Quinn series written by Natalie and Eric Severine leaves me wanting and needing something more, which for me is the single thing that the best written stories have. But there’s something more to share, which you’ll find in the postscript to this review.

You can find my first review here, the second herethe third herethe fourth here, and the fifth review here. The sixth review be found here and the review of the seventh work can be found here. The review of the eighth work in the series can be found here and my review of the ninth work is here with the tenth review here. My review of the eleventh work can be found here and my prior review in the series can be found here on the Tale.

There are some truths we never see. We have the expectation, knowing, without fear, that a smile will be there, the warmth is awaiting us. When that is threatened, when the choice to be made isn’t really one, the one thing we’ve never been able to say… is.

Knowing what you must do is not the answer. Having your truth, being able to express it is. For doing the impossible means not listening to those that say it is… It is listening to one’s own soul that does.

It tells the story of:

My name is Lily Quinn and this is my last story.

It’s been a long, strange year. The strangest of my life and you know by now just how weird that is. I fought off everything that Asmodai could throw at me and thought it was all finally over. I thought the world was safe and Asmodai had no more tricks left to pull.

I was wrong.

There is no such thing as a free lunch. There’s always a price to be paid, an obstacle to overcome. Things can change, but at the same time there are some things that never do. For Lily, the price is one that she cannot pay, but needs to. It’s a choice to be made, but at a price. The truth that has been staring into her eyes for years needs to be accepted, believed in. For when you are trying to do the impossible, you need something to believe in. Sometimes, that’s a simple as the smile you’ve always known.

One of the things that I’ve wanted to see unfold in Lily’s story was her finally seeing what’s been there for her entire life. To open herself to being able to tell Max she loves him, to accept the truth which she’s always been on the edge of, but never going over. The same is true of Max, he’s always almost been there, trying to say the words, but never actually done so. Considering this story as a whole, this is what all else revolves around. The opening of Lily’s eyes to what Max has always been there for.

How that story plays out involves a lot of twists and turns, but they are silly or out of place. Lily’s past, those she’s helped, or been at odds with, come back in this story and in doing so that forces Lily to develop that last little bit as a character that she’s needed to. The wall that she’s had around herself and what we, as the reader, sees, gets torn down at several times. The most achingly devastating moment doesn’t involve demons, wizards, battles or any sort of action. It comes from Lily crying, knowing that she hasn’t said the one thing she needs to and she might not be able to.

Lily has been lost for the last little while in the series. That one scene, that one truth that hammers at her emotionally turns things around and Lily makes a telling choice. It’s that one step on a long path which needs to be taken, once it is, then the story ramps up the action, the characters and the plot to an amazingly good telling of what comes next.

There are, of course, plans within plans, and in being so there are a few twists and turns, but they aren’t silly or out of place. They make sense, they push the story along and in doing so they didn’t take away from the core plot. There is some erotica, a lovely scene between Max and Lily at the beginning that I adored, but also a scene involving some “full” succubi that was hot and very evil at the same time.

The telling of the story allows for many threads to be tied up, which I thought was done well. The climax of the story was a revelation that just made me smile. Beyond that, one secret that Lily was keeping, looking for the right moment to reveal, was even more thrilling and where that particular thread went to just made me want more.

The conclusion of the series was a little bit melancholy for me, mostly just from turning each page and knowing there were fewer and fewer to be. There are threads that I really want to see unfold, there are characters that I’d like to know what happens next, especially Max and Lily, but many others as well. The circle around Lily finds a way to come to an emotional conclusion, to allow the possibly of Lily to have some parts of her life reconciled. The story matters, the characters have their stories told and told well. That, more than anything else, it what captivated me.

A story that’s true to Lily, that tells of her world, what she needs and has. It’s transformational for Lily and Max in so many ways but never leaves who they are to the side. It’s important, always, to have an ending, after being invested in characters that means something. To have that, truly, makes this series wonderful.

Five pitchforks out of five.

A truly satisfying ending to Lily’s story, but with the door open to, I hope, something more to be. It’s rare to have threads tied up well, for a series to answer the questions that have been haunting it since the beginning. I was expecting quite a lot and in almost every way Lily’s story came to a conclusion that made everything worthwhile.

But I want more and dearly so. There are so many paths open to be explored, and the epilogue teases something delightful that I’d dearly love to see. This might be the end of Lily’s beginning, but I’m going to hope that it isn’t the end of these authors playing in this universe.

A Postscript: There’s a bit of a personal note that I’ll make here. There is, as I mentioned, an epilogue to this work, a new character appears to bring the series to… if not a conclusion, then a hopeful pause. It is the very last line which… really made me break down in tears. Earlier his year, my Eternal’s mother was called home by Goddess. While I know where the character’s name comes from within the series… and it is exactly what I would have expected Lily to do in all honesty… It struck myself and my Eternal very hard.

While I know that it shouldn’t have done so, being as emotionally attached to this series as I have been, and the events of our past year, the moment of seeing her name made me cry, but smile as well.

Something I am grateful for.