There is something that isn’t quite right about the way a lot of self published works appear. There are writing flaws, lack of editing and other things that are simply a matter of the author not quite doing all they should do when they create. But the one thing that I cannot stand is when a book is, for example, billed as being 15 pages in length but 8 pages of that is for copyright, book summary, self-promotion and so on. If makes it hard to actually enjoy the writing when you have to page past so many almost blank pages to get to what you are looking for… story.
- Title: Burning Up
- Author: Candra Aubrey
- Publishing Date: September 11, 2012
- Length: 15 Pages (3,694 Words)
- ISBN: 9781623271985
- This work at Smashwords
The summary tells of:
Desiree Nyman has always liked virgins. As a thousand-plus-year-old succubus, she’s had the time to refine her palate and enjoy the sweet taste of the innocent. She also has a soft spot for those who were bullied and a bit of a vindictive streak for those who did the bullying. After having her way with nineteen-year-old Fisher Whyte, Desiree heads for New York City for a bit of payback on his behalf. There she finds what she’ looking for as she drains the energy from two aggressive men, Ilias and Boone, who tormented Fisher when he was younger. She uses her power to pull the two of them together and seduces them into pleasing her and each other, before moving on. In one night, she is able to feed enough to satisfy her for awhile and also manages to even the score for the sweet, naive Fisher.
The thing about this summary is that… it’s missing a lot to be honest. You do know of course where the story is going overall from it, and that’s the point. But what’s missing from it is so much more.
The author speaks of where Desiree came from, but more interestingly, some of her past, which to me was more interesting than the rest of the story to be honest. How she was changed by Fae into what she is now, the Incubus she met, many little interesting points about her that aren’t developed. Especially with regards to nature and civilization, and most of all, her ability to shift herself and others through space.
All of that, to me, really are things I want to know about. But we don’t. The teases we see are there for a moment and then lost to the menage a trois which is the climax of the work. What makes that sadder is that the story is rushed to that point with little regard to actually using the character reveals we see.
Why can she only be in civilization a short time? What did she do that she was cursed to be a Succubus? How is it that she isn’t Fae and isn’t human? What does that mean?
There are other questions left unanswered and that brings me back to the comment I made at the start. The entire work is less than 4,000 words. The page count is 15 pages, but really there are only 7 actual pages of story.
Could the author not have fleshed out the story some more? Make it less a story of sex and in doing so make it a better story? I know that some people like hot flashes that have no story to them, but I personally don’t. I need some meat in my story and this one lacks somewhat for that.
Setting that aside, I liked Desiree, I liked her a lot and I wanted to know more about her. She isn’t just there for sex, that’s clear in her thoughts and actions. But rather than see more of that, to understand her wants and needs… It’s skimmed over for the sex.
The writing is quite good, and has some lovely moments of inspiration in it. It just really neeed more of that in having a longer story. It wouldn’t be that hard to make this story twice or three times as long, and really that would add so much to it. Character matters. There is the hint of that…
I’ll give this work two pitchforks out of five.
Again, far too short for all of the lovely hints of a larger universe that are given. I would like to see that… someday.