May 19 2015

A Review of the Lilith the Demon series by Charlotte Chase

Lilith the Demon: Full Series by Charlotte Chase

Lilith the Demon: Full Series by Charlotte Chase

It’s becoming more and more obvious over time that most of the shorter works with succubi, or succubi-like characters appearing in them are tending to focus on something in particular. I’d like to say that the focus was on story, perhaps some well written erotica. I would even be happy if the character was, just a little bit, not as stereotypical as most.

But it seems, sadly, that many authors are not putting all that much effort into actual writing, or editing for that matter, and just publishing something that really doesn’t have much going for it.

Stereotypically, of course, that means that some stories just amount to very little to like and even less to remember when the story is over.

The work tells the story of:

Lilith the demon has an ingeneous plan to bring about the birth of the Antichrist: obtain the seed of the Devil himself, then change into a man and find the most innocent woman on Earth to share it with.

Part One: Lilith is excited about phase one of her project, the one where she seduces the powerful and dangerous Prince of Hell. Lilith is experienced with seducing men; as a succubus it is her job. But this time the tables are turned on her, as the Prince of Hell commands far more control and respect than Lilith could ever prepare for–and he’s not going to let one uppity little demon have her way, not without punishing her first and using her body for his own dark, perverted pleasures.

Part Two: Lilith’s plan enters phase two. With Satan’s seed boiling inside of her and an innocent, holy woman picked out, all she has to do is seduce the unseducable. But the poor young widow inflames Lilith’s passions, and she can barely control herself as she takes her first female lover.

Lilith is a scheming succubus with grand plans. Wishing to make “a name” for herself, she entwines herself with someone she shouldn’t have and after being used in every way possible, she returns to Earth to complete her plans.

And in reading that entire summary, you’ve pretty much read the entire series from beginning to end. There’s very little story as the majority of the series focuses on Lilith having sex and that’s about all.

Lilith herself is stereotypically evil, self-centred, completely dislikable, but most of all, in being all of these things and more, that only serves to leave not much else in the story as a whole. The erotica is, as well, really not much more than a hot flash, if barely. It’s over the top, bland at times, and just didn’t do anything to hold my interest in the work.

Even when the work moved towards telling a story, it felt half-hearted and uninspired. This could have been something better as a whole if there would have been more story to balance out all of the erotica. I would have liked more about the characters, the reasons for why the story went the way it did and so on.

Overall, the series felt like a typical porn movie in who the characters were and what they did. This is especially true in how the story ended, which was extremely rushed. I wonder if the author came to the climax and then gave up on the series as a whole. It seems like it, in a lot of ways.

Blandly written, uninteresting characters, a plot that was very thin and only existed to give a reason why Lilith acted as she did. Needs more story, more character development, but most of all, the erotica needs to be so much more than it is.

One out of five pitchforks.

I don’t expect a third work in the series for one thing, but I would have liked the author to try rewriting things a little bit and reissuing this series. Flesh out the characters, tell a story and build some heat.

There might be something then.

 

Tera

May 18 2015

Snoops – Part One By TeraS

I was chatting with my heart the other night and he commented, when I showed him a rather poor movie with succubi in it, that it might be used by some sort of Succubi Central Intelligence Agency as a means of torture …

Now, pondering that a little further, one could imagine that the Realm might, possibly have such a thing as a succubi spy service …

And so, the question becomes … What’s that all about, anyway?

This might be a story worth telling …

Snoop
Part One
By TeraS

Usually, matters of state in the Realm include meetings in the Throne Room, where Tera and her Eternal, Keith, find themselves attending to—and being attended by—the mechanisms of the Realm’s bureaucracy. This is not, as many know, where Tera likes to be. For the most part, she tends to make decisions wherever and whenever the mood strikes her, even if, on occasion, it is someone else’s mood that does the striking. This drives the bureaucrats and ministers insane more often than not.

Of course, Tera is the one that does the pondering … and deciding, in the end. So it was when a little known branch of the Realm bureaucracy came into being: the Succubi Necessary Observational Operations Perspicacity Service, which Tera so named so that she could call them the SNOOPS (an acronym that makes her giggle every time).

The entire thing began when the Queen was posing, in the nude as it happened, for a purple-tailed, chocolate-skinned succubi who fancied herself an aspiring artist. Now, really none of this was all that odd—Tera was always trying to help those in the Realm, and elsewhere, find their talents and bring them to the fore. However, the fact that there was also a green-tailed succubi in the same room, holding a steno pad and quill in her hands, might have been seen as slightly different even to the none-too-observant … or those that might be drooling off in a corner, watching Tera’s tail drape over her curves, hiding them … slightly … sort of.

Even if that wasn’t strange enough, the conversation would most certainly reach out and tap them on the nose and turn their attention to it as a whole. The aspiring artist looked out from behind her canvas, brushed some of her pink hair away from her eyes, and commented: “Tera, it’s a good idea … really.”

Tera’s tail moved slightly: “Really, Deirdre?”

The tossing of a brush in Tera’s general direction was accompanied by: “Darn it! Don’t move!” The red-tail then arched an eyebrow in reply, which made Deirdre blush: “Sorry … Just … don’t move. It’s tough enough trying to paint you as it is without that darn tail teasing me.”

Tera’s reply was in a soft purr: “I have the oddest sense that you have me here, like this, so I can’t walk off as you try to convince me of your good idea.”

“Tera, you’d walk out of here, nude or otherwise, if you wanted to.”

“True.”

Deirdre peeked out again, then ducked back: “So, getting back to my idea.”

Tera sighed lightly and waited patiently for Deirdre to paint a little more before she continued to speak: “You want to create a little group of succubi and incubi who will be working as spies.”

“That’s a bit harsh.”

“All right: snoops.” The artist looked at her Queen, waving a brush at her: “And that’s a bit too light.”

“Perhaps. Still I like the idea of them snooping around rather than spying on others. But that’s all semantics, isn’t it?”

“Yes. But they’ll be in danger, in places that we normally aren’t. They’ll have to act in ways you’ll not be happy with, Tera.”

The royal eyes narrowed: “Such as?”

A brush was dropped into a metal can to soak off the paint: “Acting stereotypically evil.”

“And that is where I have the problem. That’s not how our kind is, Deirdre.”

Deirdre picked up the canvas she was working on and turned it onto its side: “I said ‘acting.’ That doesn’t mean they’ll actually do something evil. And really, let’s face it, if we have someone being the girlfriend or boyfriend or lover of someone … unpleasant … they can always mind control them a bit to believe anything.”

Tera hummed, then replied: “You know, I’m sure that I can manage quite well in …”

The purple-tail looked over the top of the canvas: “No, Tera, you can’t. You haven’t got the smallest bit of being ‘not nice’ in you. Also, you have a problem in that you can’t lie. So, you aren’t exactly what would be called prime spy material.”

“Snoop.”

Deirdre mirrored her model’s eyebrow arch: “Okay, I’ll give you that. You are a huge snoop and pain in the ass.”

The brunette smirked: “Thank you.”

“What did I say about moving?”

The room was silent for a time, save for the sound of paint being drawn over canvas, before the green-tailed succubi looked up from her pad. A long sigh was followed with, “Tera, it’s not a bad idea. We do that, in a way, right now. This just makes it formal.”

The Queen’s eyes shifted to look at the blond, Asian succubi: “You cannot be serious, Nadia.”

“We have been threatened before, been lucky to get out of things, not without, I’ll add, a lot of problems. We’re better served to get out there, have some warning of what’s coming and, if we have to, deal with it before it falls on our doorstep.”

She closed her oh-so-green eyes: “And this will cost?”

Nadia answered that: “Some space to call their own. Some support from beings that are aligned with you, Tera. Most importantly, we’ll have to find the right people in the Realm to get involved in this.”

One of the things about Tera is that she’s not exactly slow to make a decision, and that was true in this case, as well. “Go make your plans. Get back to me about who you want to talk to, though I have my own ideas about that. Find a quiet out-of-the-way place in the Realm to set yourselves up. Oh, and, for the record, even if this isn’t, you aren’t going to have a formulaic, snoop-looking building. Have some taste, will you?”

Deirdre nodded: “Won’t go nuts … Promise.”

“I’m not concerned about that. I am concerned about you keeping your mind on what you will be responsible for. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you are putting your Brothers and Sisters into harm’s way.”

Nadia commented: “You know, in the event that something went wrong, Tera, you’d have plausible deniability.”

Tera pursed her lips slightly and then her tail pointed in the direction of Deirdre’s painting: “Are you finished? Or rather, have you gotten what you wanted?”

Deirdre’s reply was a nod and then a nibble of her lip as Tera rose from the chair she had been sitting in and slinked her way over to have a look at the painting.

Tera looked at the portrait with a quizzical expression: “I do hope I don’t look that way.”

The canvas was completely blank, as pristine as when it was first created.

Deirdre smiled: “I can’t do portraits worth a damn. I can, however, fake it well.”

The red-tail picked up a red robe, draping it over her shoulders: “I hope you don’t with your snoops, Deirdre. I will hold you responsible for anything that happens to them.”

“I know.”

Tera’s green eyes bore into Deirdre’s soul for a moment, then she replied: “Nadia will be working with you from here on. You’re too brash and she’s too strait-laced. I only hope that will keep you both from doing something incredibly stupid.”

Nadia dropped her notepad at this surprise: “Tera!”

Tera smiled at her: “I know that you both are in cahoots in this idea of your’s. So, you might as well take some responsibility, as well.” As the two looked at each other, their sovereign tied her sash, adding: “You forget that I know exactly what you are both thinking.”

Desire tried to explain: “Tera …”

A wave of the brunette’s hand: “No, it’s fine. But it is also a lesson for the two of you. There’s no such thing as ‘plausible deniability’ for me. So don’t make a mistake; remember that I’m watching.”

The two slightly chastised succubi nodded as Tera started to leave. However, before she did so, she looked over her shoulder and smiled: “You’ll always be the Snoops to me.”

After their queen left, Nadia asked: “Where are we going to start?”

Deirdre smirked: “I think we find some suitably named succubi and incubi and ask if they want to join an exclusive club.”

Nadia giggled: “The Snoops?”

“Yup. The Snoops.”

May 17 2015

A Review of Purely Sinful by Rozalin Rose

Purely Sinful by Rozalin Rose

Purely Sinful by Rozalin Rose

Many times when a story has a Succubus as a main character, there is a problem. It’s very common for the Succubus to never change, to remain stereotypically evil. To not learn, to become more than she is and, usually, by the end of the work she’s likely to be a footnote in the conclusion, or worse still, just be removed when she’s no longer needed in the story.

It’s when the story forces the Succubus to look upon herself, to find that there is something more than being what she is. To have a focus on who she is, what she desires and, if she’s fortunate and the story allows, even find love.

The work tells the story of:

Detective Cole Harvey was hot on the trail of a sex trade organization based in Chicago when he encountered something no one could have expected. A succubus; a demon who takes the form of a stunningly beautiful woman and preys on the souls of weak willed men. As intimidating as she is sexy, the demon offers Cole a deal: bring her corrupt individuals to feed upon and she will help him find the person responsible for his wife’s brutal murder. Catching this killer is a case that has eluded him for a haunting two years. Could Cole trust the sexy succubus? Or would he end up becoming another lost soul for the centuries old demon to consume?

Cole is a detective on a mission who finds himself in the presence of a succubus who offers him something he cannot refuse. A change to find out who, exactly, killed his wife. The problem is that the succubus, Zafira, knows his thoughts and plays a game with his desires. But some games become more than they seem. They become, eventually, the truth, and sometimes the truth can set you free or bind you forever. The question for Cole and Zafira is which shall it be?

As a whole this is a complex story wrapped around two characters who play off each other really quite well. The world has many aspects to it, there are layers of plans, schemes, wants and needs that revolve around and between the pair. In doing so the plot evolves from what appears to be a simple question which Cole needs answers to into something more complex. The question of what would you do for someone you love and what risks would you take. That’s not a simple question in this work because it wraps tightly around both Cole and Zafira, making them question themselves and, more importantly, the reality that they both live in.

At the beginning, Zafira seems to be, but not quite, a stereotypical succubus. There is a certain attitude she gives that just makes it easy to, if not dislike her, then tolerate her. But what’s more interesting in her case is that as the story continues, there’s a subtle shift in her attitude, personality, and more importantly, she comes to a new understanding about herself. Within that context, by the end of the story, she’s a wonderful character in that while she has her moments, the real person beneath the horns comes out at least. That is well worth the story by far.

Cole’s character undergoes a similar transformation in that he is, very much, a lost soul at the beginning of the work, but over time he finds purpose again, holds onto that spark, and makes choices that lead towards an ending which while slightly telegraphed, makes sense and fits into how this universe works.

There are a vast number of supporting characters, some of which take on central roles to the main plot, others pass through as fodder for some displays of Zafira’s powers. With them comes a puzzle to sort out and figure out who is responsible for the events that unfold and what Zafira and Cole might do about that.

There is a light touch of succubus erotica in the work, which has a lot of heat to it, but, sadly, always ends in a stereotypical way for Zafira. It isn’t dwelled on for the most part, but it tends to become a bit repetitive through the course of the story. There are hints of mind control, a bit of dominance as well which add flavour to Zafira which work well overall.

Well written, I liked the plot, the puzzle, but most of all I loved reading how Zafira coming into contact with Cole changes them both and what happens to the both by the end of the work. However, the ending leaves a bit to be desired. With all of the building up of the mystery, the events of the story and all that both Cole and Zafira go through, the ending is a bit unsatisfying.

The ending felt too rushed, too much in a hurry to get to the last page and draw the story to its conclusion. It was a bit too pat, a little too rote an ending and after all of the turns and twists in the story to those final ten pages, I was slightly disappointed in that.

The ending leaves open the possibility of a following work, to see what happens to Cole and Zafira in the aftermath of their actions. But it does end in a way that brings closure to most of the story. But again that ending goes by in a rush, and I just found that odd. I felt like there was a missing chapter at the end, or perhaps more accurately, the final chapter was taking two longer chapters, cutting them into one and leaving a lot of needed pose out of the final work.

I’ll give this work four out of five pitchforks.

An amazingly good read which holds you throughout. There’s purpose in the story and the characters that are within the pages. Most of all, there’s growth and a transformation not just in Zafira, but in Cole as well which just works in the best way.

It’s a shame that the work isn’t well distributed, it really should be, as it’s well worth one’s time to read an become immersed in a well told story about Succubi and finding their truth and that of others.

 

Tera

May 17 2015

A Review of Accidental Succubus: Love At First Bite by Vivian Fraser

Accidental Succubus: Love At First Bite by Vivian Fraser

Accidental Succubus: Love At First Bite by Vivian Fraser

Origin stories need to have two things. One, there needs to be a past for the character in question, a reason for them to be where they are and why it matters to them. The second thing is that when the transformation happens, for example someone becomes a succubus, it shouldn’t be done in a single line of text.

It does not make for good story telling when questions are left behind in the aftermath and, more importantly, no one is really sure if the transformation happened in the first place. Assuming things isn’t a good idea you know.

The work tells the story of:

Melody didn’t think she’d be doing much more than flirting when she went out to the club to dance and have a good time. Going to vampire bars made her feel so alive, so sexy, so passionate.

This time is different, though. When she meets sexy vampire Julius all of Melody’s ideas about a little bit of innocent fun go out the window and she finds herself in his apartment, in his arms and under his fangs.

Every action has consequences, though. Is the price Melody will pay for her night of passion too high?

Melody goes out on the town and finds herself in the arms of a Julius, a vampire. After a bit, or bite of passion, Lissandre, a jealous succubus appears and things take a turn for the worst for Melody.

The work really isn’t about succubi save for the appearance of Lissandre for a few short lines in the work to transform Melody into a succubus and that’s the real problem. Melody simply becomes a succubus in the blink of an eye and there really isn’t any storytelling to be seen in that.

The core of this work is a vampire romance and that on its own is written well and has some lovely heat as well. But when Lissandre appears, she is simply a jealous woman who uses her powers to curse Melody and then… she walks away. There really isn’t anything told of who Lissandre is, what she wants. or for that matter, how exactly she transformed Melody into a succubus, assuming she did so.

As such, the story falls into a odd place at the climax of the story and once past that the story comes to a close, which obviously leads onto the next work. That pint of the story feels like the story was written to focus on the romance and erotic moments between Melody and Julius and when that story came to a close, the author tacked on a few pages to create some strife and confrontation before ending the work.

I can’t say that really worked as it just went by so quickly that I felt a bit let down by that. Add to that the oblique appearance of a succubus and the work just didn’t… work for me.

I’m giving this work two and a half out of five pitchforks.

It really isn’t a story about succubi, the appearance of Lissandre is fleeting and momentary and in that comes questions not touched on because the ending is too soon. The next work in the series I hope delves into that part of the story. However, for those that enjoy vampire romance there is quite a lot in this work for you. Sadly, not enough of what I was looking for however.

 

Tera

May 16 2015

And another Morrigan Aensland Tribute YouTube

Another of the many, many Morrigan Aensland tribute YouTubes today… There are some really nice images of her in this one, but, I really don’t think that the music “fits” Morrigan all that well…

And if you cannot see the video here on the Tale, try this link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZf_YE6mBVw

And, as always, the one image of Morrigan in the video that I liked the best overall:

Morrigan Aensland

It is, of course, a lovely piece of Morrigan art, but what really strikes me about this one is the way Morrigan’s eyes are, in a way, hypnotic. They seem to swirl a bit and that gives me pause and I wonder about Morrigan having mind control powers as well…

…after all, most can’t look away can they?

 

Tera

May 15 2015

A Review of Contractual Obligations – Book 1 by Zoe Miller

Contractual Obligations - Book 1 by Zoe Miller

Contractual Obligations – Book 1 by Zoe Miller

 

A short time ago on the Tale, I reviewed a wonderful world by an author that I really enjoyed and have been looking forward to seeing more Succubus-themed stories to appear from them. Their first work, Antiquity’s Scion, was I felt a wonderfully different story and I reviewed that work here on the Tale. They have started a series recently and today I will be reviewing the first work in that series.

The series isn’t set in the same world as the first work I read from this author, and this story has quite a different tone to it as well. It’s different, in both a good and perhaps not quite so much so way, but nonetheless, it tells it’s own story in its own way and that’s what is important.

The letter of the word can cut two ways. There is meaning in the words to each involved in them. One to answer, and one to speak them. Sometimes the order can be the most important thing to keep in mind for both sides, for it really does matter…

  • Title: Contractual Obligations – Book 1
  • Author: Zoe Miller
  • Length: 14 Pages
  • ASIN: B00XI96PJA
  • Publishing Date: May 10, 2015
  • This work at Amazon.com

The work tells of:

Arsa is a Skint, a sensuality demon who preys on human essence. Inexperienced, but primed and ready for her first foray to steal the souls of the unwilling, Arsa is surprised when her summoner turns out not to be some drunk college kid with a Ouija board but Grace Gallant, Esquire of the occult law firm Harris, Harris, and Clay. The tables turned, Arsa quickly discovers that Grace intends to leverage her preternatural powers towards career enhancement… after a little fun, of course.

Arsa finds herself summoned to the mortal world and things take an unexpected turn when the summoner turns out to be more than Arsa expected. A battle of wills, a turning of fortunes and Arsa learns that some deals are more than one sided, they are completely overwhelming.

Arsa isn’t quite a succubus, though she has the aspects of being one in her physical form, actions and needs. She is, for lack of a better explanation, rather new to the world and there’s a bit of innocence in her character that I thought was a unique touch. Being so, she’s kept off balance through most of the story and as a result things happen which twist Arsa in a lot of directions.

Grace, the other character in the story, is dominant, there’s no question of that. She’s obviously intelligent, has summoned Arsa for a reason, and has a slightly cold aspect to whom she is that makes her really quite dislikable. It’s in her tone, her actions, and as a result, there’s a blasé feel to her, as if she’s been down this road before and doesn’t really care much other than to get things over with.

While the work is written well, there is a problem. The story rushes through events very quickly and there isn’t really much time spent in telling more about where Arsa is, why she’s there, and what Grace has in mind. While the book blurb explains who Grace is, within the context of the story itself that isn’t explained. There’s a few leaps of logic that the reader needs to make to draw the threads together, but it isn’t explicitly explained as it is in the book blurb.

There is a bit of erotica in the work, but as the story moves so fast there isn’t a lot of time for heat to build up which hurts that. Also, as a result of Grace’s tone and her attitude, the dominance she holds over Arsa seems a bit stereotypical and becomes almost a caricature. The two characters at times don’t actually talk to each other but rather talk over or perhaps more accurately, each talks to a wall, getting no real response in return.

It’s not easy to like either character here, mainly because they rub each other in the wrong way from the beginning. There’s conflict from the first moment and the story focuses on how that conflict develops and what the resolution turns out to be. It does set up a lot of questions about both Arsa and Grace, but there’s really no delving into what’s going on under the surface and that’s a shame. The why of the summoning, the how, the explanation of why Grace does certain things to Arsa isn’t explained and as such, at points, there is some confusion in the story.

I think the author would have been better served to draw out the interaction between the characters more, possibly in making Grace less of a… I think bully is the best way to describe her at the moment, though I hope that isn’t true. There is a point to how they interact, why things turn out as they do and I understand that. But for me it was hard to get into the core of the story, to connect with either character. I wanted to understand Arsa better than what was revealed about her and to learn more about Grace, but that didn’t happen and needed to.

Being that this is the opening work in a new series, there needs to be questions and plots left over to be explored as the series goes on. In this case the background is very thinly told and I hope that more of the “why” comes in the next work. The author’s strength, at least to me, is in how they construct a universe and how that universe relates to the characters within it. Forcing the issue, as happens in this work, doesn’t allow for that to unfold.

I feel like this work could have been split into two separate parts and in doing so there would be more time to set things up. Perhaps in letting the characters tell their own stories before drawing them together might have worked better than just putting them into conflict at the drop of a hat. The author has a talent for telling involved, passionate stories. In this work I just didn’t feel that came out and that’s a shame.

I’ll give this work three out of five pitchforks.

The characters are interesting and the work sets up what seems to be a unique universe to play in. The problem is that the story moves far too quickly, leaving little time to enjoy the story. I hope in the next work in the series the author delves into the who, how and why because that needs to be explored. There’s promise here, but it isn’t bought to the fore.

 

Tera

May 15 2015

A Review of I, Succubus Incubus by Cain Berlinger

I, Succubus Incubus by Cain Berlinger

I, Succubus Incubus by Cain Berlinger

Mysteries are always interesting things to read. Sometimes the biggest mystery to solve is the one that resides within one’s self. It’s the question of who you are, what you desire, and what your dreams are made of. And both Succubi and Incubi love dreams don’t they?

Reality is what you make of it they say, but sometimes reality becomes something that you didn’t expect. When it does the questions left behind can be both troubling and arousing… If one cares to look into them deeply.

The work tells the story of:

Nick thought brother Jesse and sister Violet just wanted to get into his pants. What they wanted was to get into his nightmares.

When Nick moves back to New Orleans he meets and lusts after lounge singer, Violet, but she has other things on her mind. Sometime later Nick meets Jesse, who turns out to be Violets twin brother. Nick and Jesse have a brief affair but Nick still hankers after Violet. The final confrontation proves you cannot trust anybody.

Nick is trying to be an actor, but like all up and comers he needs to survive. He encounters Violet, a woman that made an impression on him and discovers that she still does. When her brother Jesse appears from nowhere, things become… interesting.

It’s quite obvious from the title of this work that Violet has the role of a Succubus and that Jesse has the role of an Incubus in this work. While they do, there are only hints about what they are truly like as a Succubus and Incubus. There aren’t the normal aspects seen nor are there really anything that points clearly at them being so save for a short passage in the work.

But the hints are quite clear and their actions do, in many ways, say that they are. They are both very sexual beings, they both play against Nick’s desire and they are both constantly in his thoughts. So as a whole, yes, they are what they seem to be.

Over the course of the story it’s interesting to watch as Nick grips with his own desires, thoughts and needs in the face of who he is and what his needs are. Violet opens a door to some of that but Jesse takes as much if not more. It’s an interesting situation to watch unfold and as it does it becomes clear that Jesse is lost to those around him to an extent.

While there are some hot flashes in the work between Nick and Violet and then more so between Nick and Jesse, they really aren’t the focus of this work so much as the mystery that surrounds all of them and what it all means.

When the conclusion comes, it is a bit confusing, though it is seen from Nick’s perspective and as such one would expect it to be considering what happens at the climax of the work. It ends on a question, an important one, and an opening towards another story about these characters. That question is one that I would like to see the answer to, if for no other reason than to tie up some loose ends and settle the final lines of the work which offer an opening towards something I found rare when it comes to stories about Succubi and Incubi.

The characters are very strongly written,with clear voices and actions that do not falter through the work. The settings are richly told and paint a vivid picture as well. There are a few minor word errors in the work, for example using “to” instead of “too” in one case. As well there are a few moments where the story became slightly confused, but I think that was intended to show Nick’s confusion more than any fault of the author’s writing. But it took me out of the work for a time as I mulled over the events told and tried to set them clearly in my own thoughts before continuing onwards.

I’m giving this work four out of five pitchforks.

The work needs at least one more editing pass to collect the small scattered word errors in it. There are things not explained that would be the start of another work easily and I would like to see that sometime from this author. The world they have created leaves one wanting and that is a good thing to have. A bit more clarity in two passages would have been nice as well, but as a whole a wonderful mystery that I did enjoy.

Tera

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