Oct 11 2016

A Review of Pact of a Succubus by Leona D. Reish

Pact of a Succubus by Leona D. Reish

Pact of a Succubus by Leona D. Reish

One of the authors that I follow is Leona D. Reish who has written quite a number of stories in which succubi appear in various forms. You can find two of my previous review of their works here and here on the Tale. What I find particularly interesting is this author’s use of succubus mind control and seduction in their stories. The characters have depth, the story is told well. But sometimes there are points where the things the succubus character does that are, at least for me, a little bit too far over the top.

Making a deal with a succubus is a very tentative thing. Not all deals are those spoken, some are the deals within one’s own will, desires and fantasies. When one summons a succubus, one’s true nature is that which makes the deal.

 

It is the story of:

Mark was a man feeling the pressure of the world bear down on his shoulders. Fears of both finding work and satisfying his lover in bed hunted him until that one fateful night. Under pale moonlight in the seclusion of their utility shed, Mark succeeds in calling the aid he so desperately hopes for.

What comes to stand before him in the occult circle is no angel above, but a voluptuous demon – a succubus has answered his call. With her uplifting power, Mark finds success and satisfaction, but what price has the pact truly come at? One should always be careful what they wish for, and just whom they dance with, lest they be dancing alone in the palm of a devil.

Mark found himself needing a way to be more than he was. A deal struck with the succubus Sofi’avez seemed to be all that he wished for. But then, the deal was everything that Sofi’avez wanted as well. The truth will come, when the time is right and when it does, then the price will be paid and in more ways than Mark could imagine.

While Mark is the main character of this story, really it’s more about Sofi’avez and her powers, her guile, her seduction that takes over the story soon after it begins. Sofi’avez is, in some respects, a somewhat stereotypical succubus in some of her aspects, but in many other ways she’s quite a lot more than that. While she does have wings, hooves, and all else that one might expect a succubus to have. it isn’t do much her physical form that matters as it is her personality and her powers.

There’s a very strong underlying succubus mind control aspect to this work which mixes seduction, a bit of ensnarement and a touch of submission. Sofi’avez projects herself as being in one moment submissive to Mark, as their pact seems to say, but in the next her tone shifts slightly, her powers come into play and Mark, along with another soul, are made to dance to what Sofi’avez desires.

The heat in this work came, for me at least, Sofi’avez’s use of mind control on her prey. There are other aspects, such as some transformations, gender swapping, and futa themes, but really they don’t have the same heat as Sofi’avez using her powers in ways that the other characters do not realize what’s happening until it is far too late. That makes for lovely heat and it gave Sofi’avez, her personality, something that was very interesting.

The erotica is a series of scenes that are part of the story, not outside of it. They build on the story, they transform the characters and push Sofi’avez to develop more than just being a succubus. While I enjoyed much of that aspect of the erotica, there were moments which, for me, pushed a little too far into the realm of pain and that I didn’t enjoy very much. The transformations are hot, the binding of souls to Sofi’avez is deliciously hot. While I understand that the more violent and painful parts of the erotica are connected to who Sofi’avez is, I’m not sure they worked as well as similar themes did in other works by this author.

One of the things that was missing, I felt, was telling more about Sofi’avez herself. There’s a lot about Mark, but for Sofi’avez herself, there’s nothing really told about her in depth and I was a little disappointed in that. When the work came to the climax, Sofi’avez seemed to slip into being an “evil” succubus with not a lot of character in her. Once past that, and the last parts of the story came, there was hints she’s more than she appears. It would be nice to know what that was. I think that’s just as interesting a story as that of Mark’s temptations and his falling to Sofi’avez and her seduction.

Three and a half out of five pitchforks.

I liked Sofi’avez as a succubus, as she was very seductive, manipulative and most of all, used the sexual needs of those around her to her advantage. While Mark doesn’t see the power she has until very late in the story, it’s there in her words, her poise and her temptations. The creation of her character, her dialogue and more was well done. The succubus mind control was some of the best I’ve read this year. Where my problem comes is that the erotica moved over a line into something that’s more pain than pleasure and I didn’t enjoy that when it happened.

I’d like to see a follow-on work, to tell more about Sofi’avez herself, what drives her and what she wants from Mark and otherwise. That interests me, and I can even manage to overlook her hooves because of that. The ending offers something to think about, and I’d like to know whether I’m right or wrong about Sofi’avez herself.

 

Tera

Oct 11 2016

A Review of The Succubus Hunter by Abbey Lynn

The Succubus Hunter by Abbey Lynn

The Succubus Hunter by Abbey Lynn

One of the things that draws me into a story is when there is more going on than what the main characters deal with. That there are other succubi, a society in which they work towards a common goal and purpose. To me that’s interesting, it means that the succubi aren’t what one might expect them to be. The only issue I have is when the story teases this, and then really doesn’t delve into what that means.

There is such a thing as perspective. Everyone has their own of course, some more focused than others. Sometimes there comes a need for that perspective to be changed. How that happens can change one forever.

  • Title: The Succubus Hunter
  • Author: Abbey Lynn
  • Length: 76 Pages
  • ASIN: B01DQ6JXOI
  • Publishing Date: March 31, 2016
  • This work at Amazon.com

 

It is the story of:

In the colonial era, huntsmen have been trained by the church to track down and kill succubus demons that have infiltrated the local villages. During an evening hunt, Nicholas gets separated from his companions in the woods and stumbles across a beautiful naked woman. Soon he realizes she’s the prey he’s been hunting, but her seductive powers prove too strong for even him.

His companions eventually rescue him, but it may already be too late. That night Nicholas begins to change, becoming more feminine, discovering a growing lust and hunger toward his fellow hunters. Transforming into a female succubus, the former hunter suddenly becomes the hunted. And Nicholas must choose loyalty between the brotherhood of hunters he once swore allegiance, and the new sisterhood of succubi she now unquestionably belongs.

Nicholas encounters a succubus and is drawn into her orbit. Saved, or so it seems, by his fellow hunters, Nicholas soon finds that there’s more than one succubus in the town. Soon Nicholas finds himself becoming a succubus as well, which opens up secrets about himself, the world around him, and what he thinks the truth is. The past tells a story and when it is revealed, then the future can be found.

The level of detail in this work is some of the best I have read recently. All of the characters have a background, a history and more. There’s not one character that appears to be in the work for no purpose at all. Being so, as Nicholas’ story is told, there’s a great deal of character development that swirls around him. Over time, through his encounter with one succubus at the beginning of the work, and another a bit further on, he is forced to see things differently, to lean things that, for the time this work is set, aren’t the sort of thing that would normally be.

The main focus is set on Nicholas’ transformation into a succubus, which is one of the more unique ones I have seen. There’s something like a hierarchy with the succubi in this universe and I found that to be interesting. The telling of Nicholas dealing with that, with having to confront another succubus who knows more than she lets on, provides a plot and growth in his character, eventually to be a her character, that was well thought out and made a good deal of sense.

There are two succubi that appear in this work, the one Nicholas first encounters who really nothing is told of, but she’s very much a succubus in how she captures him, draws him to her and what happens between them. The description of that scene is quite well done, the succubus mind control aspects I rather liked. Eventually we are told her name, Desdemona, but nothing else. I’ll also add that how her life ends is somewhat uncomfortably written, making me cringe a bit as Nicholas describes what happens during that.

The other succubus in the work, Constance, is far more fleshed out, having a history, a purpose, a meaning for her existence and how that ties to Nicholas. She is slightly confusing at times, her attitude towards him going in many different directions before things settle and the story continues towards its resolution.

There are a few erotic scenes in the work, the heat in them being good overall, save for how the first scene ends, which I didn’t really enjoy. When Nicholas takes her new form, taking a new name, that is a lovely sapphic scene that had some heat, but more importantly, there was desire between the characters and that made it a bit more.

The transformation scenes which Nicholas passes through are well done, not having many missing pieces to the puzzle as it unfolds. The transformation leaves her uncertain, looking for answers, and that brings Constance fully into the story. This then brings the background of succubi in this universe, how they exist, what they deal with into focus. I found this part of the story the most interesting to read.

The society spoken of I thought was, to a point, actually more interesting than the story of Nicholas. From what little was revealed of that society’s goals, its culture, its rules and the ceremony that occurs in the story between Constance and the transformed Nicholas are quite telling and intelligent. The author spent quite some time thinking about these points and making them more than a passing thing in the storytelling.

However, as much hints and otherwise the time spent in telling about the succubi society, it doesn’t really amount to much more than the edge of that story being told. I felt that this was my singular disappointment in the work. All of this promise, all of this story to be told and it only is done so fleetingly. I wanted there to be more time spent in that world once the climax of the story came, but that didn’t happen. Once that moment was past, the story came to an abrupt, if hopeful close far too soon.

Strong characters make things work something special. The plot, how detailed things are add to that by far. The issue comes in offering something more to be told and then taking it away before the story really can get past the choices being made and the future being promised.

Four out of five pitchforks.

A very good, well written work with interesting characters and story. I would have liked to know a lot more about the succubi society than was told considering how much detail appeared otherwise. The work really needs a continuation, something to fill in the missing gaps somehow. Even if that took taking the story to the present day, with the same succubi characters to do so. Well worth reading and I liked it quite a lot.

 

Tera

Oct 10 2016

The Second Coming – Part II By TeraS

Continuing on my October/Halloween story today… You can find Part One here on the Tale if you’d like to catch up on things…

The perception of good—or evil, for that matter—can be very dependent on what one’s perspective is. Horns, tails, and so on aren’t always what they represent. Sometimes they are, however. The thing that is the most difficult is being able to tell the difference when it matters. Beyond that, sometimes the choice made matters more, even if one cannot see it at the time.

 

The Second Coming
Part II
By TeraS

 

There are some that say getting there is half the fun, that the journey is more important than the destination. In fact, there are a lot of sayings which refer to the important aspects of traveling and that one should remember them fondly. As the airplane touched down on the runway, Cleo found herself mulling those thoughts over in her mind, if for no other reason than to distract herself from the flight she had shared with Mandy, time spent being more intimate with her than anyone Cleo had ever been with before. Save for … him.

His words still haunted her dreams sometimes. Damn him to hell, even if he was there already.

She shivered at the unbidden thoughts and looked across the aisle to where Mandy was sleeping, the screech of the tires not waking her up, nor the roar of the engines as they slowed the jet down. Reflecting on the past hours and what happened between them, Cleo didn’t quite understand exactly what pushed Mandy, why she felt this was the time to say what she did, what had made her say those three words:

“I love you.”

Cleo knew this, had known it for a long time, if she was being honest with herself. But she also had to be honest in other ways. Mandy was much younger, or perhaps it was better to say that Cleo was far older. The difference would make any real relationship awkward at best, impossible at worst.

Mandy remained blissfully unaware of Cleo’s thoughts. She curled up under a thin blanket, laying across some folded down seats in an impromptu bed of sorts. Cleo smiled a bit at the angelic expression that her apprentice showed as she cuddled around a pillow.

She wasn’t quite an angel on the flight over. No, that wasn’t the right thing to say. Nor was what Cleo had to explain to Mandy:

“You need someone better than me.”

It wasn’t the truth. She knew that. Mandy did, as well, she suspected, because it didn’t stop Mandy from what happened in the middle of the night, somewhere over the Atlantic.

Thank God for small mercies.

Looking at the sealed case which had accompanied her, as it rested on the floor, the question was if she’d be able to make good on her bravado and contain the succubus. Hopefully the answers were in the case.

The lights of the taxiway streamed by, flashing on and off as Cleo looked out the window. Was she ready for this? Could she do what was necessary? A cough from Mandy crystallized her thoughts.

Yes, because there was no other way.

Rubbing sleep from her eyes, Mandy mumbled: “Hey.”

“Sleep okay?”

“Oh … good enough.” The red head—when did her hair get so red?—waved her pillow: “Need a better pillow, though.”

She knew what was coming next, but fell into the trap anyway: “Too lumpy.”

“I like your lumps.”

Turning away, Cleo started to gather her things, trying to hide a light blush as she did so. Mandy had pressed herself against the window and was regarding the scene outside: “So, where to first?”

“Need to pay respects to officials in the diocese that reported this. Then we should go and talk to the pastor involved before getting to … her.”

The plane came to a stop, the engines spooling down in the next moment as the main door was opened from the outside. Mandy considered things, but then offered: “How about you go and deal with the diocese and I’ll go and talk to the pastor. I’ll meet you at the hotel after.”

“Any particular reason?”

Mandy’s answer was to point at her T-shirt: “I’m not exactly dressed for the occasion. You, however, look boring, and I’m sure they’ll love that.”

Cleo peered through her glasses: “Probably right; they’re not expecting you either.”

Mandy smiled.

“But you’re only going to see the pastor, nothing else; right?”

“Of course.”

“Miranda …”

She rolled her eyes: “Fine. I promise I won’t go and do something stupid.”

Nodding, for really there was nothing else that she could do, Cleo gathered her things and left the plane a moment later. Mandy watched from the airplane window as Cleo was driven off to her meeting.

As Cleo’s car vanished out of sight, the cockpit door opened and one of the pilots asked: “Need anything, Miss?”

Mandy had the oddest look as she slung her backpack over her shoulder and made her way out: “Oh, lots of things. But I’m working on them.”

The pilot watched her walking towards the terminal building until she was called by the other pilot about an issue. By the time she looked back, Mandy had vanished.

The drive to the diocesan office was uneventful. Cleo really not paying much attention as she looked through the file and reminded herself, several times, that she was here to make friends and influence enemies. The sigh at not having Miranda there was a long one. Like most bureaucracies, the diocese ran on its own schedule, and she found herself sitting in a reasonably comfortable waiting room for her turn to pay respects and get her marching orders. While she had left many of her things with the driver, she had retained the sealed case with her in case she needed it.

Pushing her glasses up into place, she hoped not to.

“Sister? If you would?”

Moments later Cleo had been ushered in and found herself on the other side of a dark oak desk being stared at.

“Hello, your Grace.”

“We find ourselves in a trying time, Sister. If what this seems to be is correct, it must not be allowed to become public knowledge.”

As if that was the real problem here. “Of course. I shall endeavour to be discreet.”

“Do you require anything?”

Prayers would be nice. Some divine help even better. “I have what I need. What remains is finding where she is, confronting her and putting an end to this.”

“I see. Should you have need of something, contact me directly.” In other words, don’t call me unless it’s dire.

“As you wish, your Grace. Is there any new information you can give me?”

He gestured to a small stack of papers: “That is all we know about the possessed herself. There are some new photographs—shocking. She remains attached to the apartment building.”

As Cleo looked through the papers, her mind reviewed what she had been told was to be her fate so long ago. To build a nest, fill it with devoted lemmings, then use them to open the gates and draw … that … to the Earth.

It seemed like the succubus was starting the process, but she didn’t have everything she needed. Thankfully, that wasn’t going to happen; the nun had left what the incubus had gathered in the catacombs.

But it could still be a trap, and she was the one going into it.

Cleo half-listened to the bishop going on, but her focus was on the photograph of a young woman attached to a summary of her life—Miss Ordinary more than anything else. She seemed nice, all things considered. The diocesan staff had managed to come up with a lot of detail on her: from a small town, small family, no relationships known of, excelled in college—was interested in archaeology, no less—and was working as an assistant to the National Museum before this all happened.

Cleo pursed her lips as she turned the page over and looked at what she had become: “Damn.”

“Pardon?”

Cleo’s eyes broke from the page: “Sorry, your Grace. Just … surprised as to her transformation.”

“It is … severe.”

You mean that she’s attractive. “Yes.”

Cleo looked at the succubus: “Not my type Thank God.” Stuffing the papers into her case, her eyes returned to her: “Is there anything else, your Grace?”

“No, I think we’re done here. Please keep me informed.”

She gathered her belongings: “Of course.”

Soon after, Cleo was on her way to the hotel to meet Miranda, hoping against hope that her apprentice didn’t do something stupid.

It had taken Mandy some time to locate the pastor involved. She had even taken the time to make herself look more presentable along the way, trading in her tempting look for Cléophée for something somewhat less sexy. While the jeans weren’t riding so low on her hips and there wasn’t any tummy being shown, the T-shirt still had a saying on it: “Give me cuddles”.

The church was, truly, one of the most beautiful places Mandy had ever seen. Lovely grounds; she especially loved the rose bushes dotted about the landscaping. There was a warmth, a joy that she felt the further she walked into this domain. The redhead, her hair in a scrunchie, had loved the little sign near the walkway leading towards her destination: “He could walk on water. Please walk on the grass.” So, of course, Mandy did so with delight. She had just reached the steps leading to the main building when her attention was diverted.

“Welcome! What brings you here on this fine day?”

Mandy turned towards the person greeting her and found herself in the presence of a kind gentleman with sparkling blue eyes.

“I’m looking for the pastor.”

“It would seem you have found him.”

He offered his hand in greeting and she didn’t hesitate to shake it, even with the gardening gloves he was wearing: “It’s good to meet you! I’m Sister Miranda and …” The handshake turned into a warm affectionate hug which Mandy enjoyed to the fullest. There were so few she had encountered that she liked at first blush, fewer still whom she felt had the wisdom of God within them.

There was no doubt that he was this and far more.

“Oh! Forgive me! I was going to tend to our roses! I’m sorry!”

Her laugh was sweet and unconcerned: “Please, don’t stop on my account … and I don’t mind the dirt. I work in dusty places all of the time.”

He peered at her through his glasses: “Dusty?”

“Yes. I’m … involved in the catacombs of the Synodical antiquities library. I’m Sister Cléophée’s assistant.”

A spark of recognition appeared: “Ah, yes! How is she? I haven’t seen her for years! Is she doing well? I trust she’s looking after herself?”

Mandy shrugged: “Bit stressed, but okay, thank you, Father.” Then she considered him: “How is it you know her?”

He nodded in the direction of one of the larger rose bushes: “Come, please? We can talk while I tend to things.”

Mandy found a small rock to perch herself upon as he began to trim: “I met Cléophée … oh … it must be just about 1999 or so. I was on sabbatical, working on some papers I was intending to publish. Found myself needing access to things that weren’t normally available, and so …”

“So you went to visit her?”

“More like came to odds with her. She’s very protective of her charges.”

Mandy just laughed: “Yes, well … that’s Cléophée.”

He continued trimming for a moment, then: “Well, if you know what sort of chocolate she likes, and where to get it …”

They both laughed over that revelation, both knowing instinctively that each had used that particular temptation on Cleo in the past.

He placed some clippings aside, regarding her: “So, what brings you here to visit?”

Mandy considered this for a moment, contemplating how to say something without saying it: “I’m here to … look into something Cléophée was made aware of by the diocese. About a certain woman who has … a very high sexual appetite.”

He was in the midst of clipping off a dried-out branch and paused: “She’s … been sent here?”

“No, we’ve been sent here. Well, in reality the church only knows about her, I’m … working in the background.”

His voice was a whisper: “If you are close to Cléophée … You’ll know her one secret.”

Mandy stood up and walked to him, placing her lips close to his ear: “All Hallow’s Eve … the catacombs, the sealed up section …” She paused, considering, then added: … an incubus, wanting her as his succubus.”

The sigh was telling even if Mandy didn’t see his eyes: “Yes.”

He remained kneeling as Mandy stood next to him, a hand gently lying upon his shoulder.

“Cleo wouldn’t talk about it much; said she came within a soul’s breath of being a succubus.”

He nodded: “Yes.”

The realization hit Mandy and she dropped to her knees beside him: “You … You were there.”

He nodded again, not saying anything.

“What happened?”

His focus was on a single rose, partly turned black: “It was All Hallow’s Eve, 2001. I was looking for what was rumoured to be some tablets telling of the earliest days of the church. She had started her work on cataloguing everything there, and she suggested we have a look in the deepest annex. We … didn’t find what we expected.” He picked up the shears and cut off the dying rose: “We found dark things that never should be touched. We were … lucky.”

She nodded: “Lucky enough that Cléophée was saved, the place was sealed and that would be the end of it.”

“Now it seems that someone found the missing link in the chain, has been possessed by it.”

“You knew immediately, didn’t you?”

“Yes. I … saw Cléophée, turned, on the way to being a succubus.”

Mandy’s mind reeled at the thought: her Cléophée a succubus? At the same time she found herself wondering what she looked like … and rehearsing some of her desires for Cléophée. “How do we stop this succubus?”

“I … don’t know. But I had to let someone know about this. They have to be stopped. Can you imagine the power they have?”

“I … have an idea.”

“No, you don’t. I hope you never do.”

He pushed the shears into the soil and turned to Mandy: “Whatever happens, don’t let her fall. Don’t leave her alone with the succubus.”

“She’s meeting with the diocese. I … offered to come here and talk to you. She didn’t exactly put up much of a fight over that idea.”

“She … probably never wants to have anything to do with me.”

“Why?”

Brushing his hands on his apron, he considered: “Would you want to be reminded about what happened? I still have nightmares about it.”

Mandy wasn’t satisfied with that answer: “Okay. You aren’t telling me the entire story. Out with it: what aren’t you saying?”

“I’ve spent my life trying to get over what happened. What we did to each other, how close things came to both of us losing our souls.” His eyes scanned the grounds: “I came here seeking solace for my sins. This is the only place I’ve found where I’ve been able to rest since that night.”

“Why?”

He turned to her once more: “When you crossed onto these hallowed grounds … what happened?”

Mandy didn’t hesitate: “There’s … a warmth here. Like …”

“Like Goddess herself was here with you?”

“You mean God?”

“We each see God out of our own experience and perceptions. Some see him, some her, some see something other. All are valid ways of seeing and seeking the Divine. Each of us has our own path.”

“So why ‘Goddess’ for you?”

He smiled: “That, my dear Sister Miranda, is a matter of faith … and of using a reference that the listener most appreciates. ‘Goddess’ seems to fit for you.”

Mandy was silent then, watching him return to his work. A soft buzz brought her attention to her phone: “Cléophée is on her way to the hotel. I should be going.”

“Miranda?”

“Yes, Father?”

“Do you call her ‘Cléophée’?”

“Only when we’re being very serious about something. She’s ‘Cleo.’”

“And you?”

“Mandy … most of the time.”

“Don’t lose her. If you need me …” he dug into a pocket and handed her a card, “… call me … anytime.”

She fingered the card, the only thing written on it a phone number: “You haven’t said your name.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Why?”

“Names have power. Lesson one from the hell we unearthed.”

“I need to know more, a lot more.”

“You know everything you need to know; more than I did.”

“You’re speaking in riddles.”

“They do, as well.”

Mandy’s frustration came to a head: “Why aren’t you telling me what I want to know?”

“Because … I was the incubus to Cléophée’s succubus.”

The revelation made Mandy step back: “Stay away from me.”

His expression was hurt, almost to tears: “I was the host to the incubus. I was the one used. I was the one that fell and almost took Cléophée with me.”

He left the shears in the dirt, standing up: “If she falls, then I will. She will come for me. She’ll come for anyone she loves because that’s what gives them power. If she falls, she’s coming for you, too. Then all will be lost.”

“She’s never said she loves me!”

“But you love her … don’t you?”

Mandy covered her eyes, sobbing loudly: “Oh, dear Goddess …”

He didn’t answer her. When she could see again, he was gone, leaving only the shears embedded in the earth, a single red rose cut and laying at Mandy’s feet.

She ran.

“Damn you, Cleo, you’d better be waiting for me or I swear I’ll never forgive you.”

At that moment, Cleo was being driven towards their hotel, the car passing in front of a certain apartment building. A tenant within the building looked down as Cleo passed by, her long black fingernails leaving scratches as she drew her hand over the glass.

“Little foolish Cléophée. Run about, chase your tail.”

She pulled back from the window: “Now, as for you, slave, I have need of you.”

The shrieks of pleasure echoed down the concrete canyon in the wake of Cleo’s passing, she never hearing them … But, from within her sealed case, a faint red glow seeped past the edges, as if trying to escape before it faded away.

Oct 09 2016

A Review of Demon Futa takes Revenge by Jocelyn Saragona

Demon Futa takes Revenge by Jocelyn Saragona

Demon Futa takes Revenge by Jocelyn Saragona

A short time ago an author released a series of three works about futa succubi. Each of these followed one specific character, then came to a close leaving the door open towards further stories about them. While I haven’t reviewed those works, but will shortly, one of the characters, named Sharis, is the centre of a new series of books about her.

Today then, I’ll be reviewing the opening work in that series on the Tale.

It is the story of:

Sharis is a futanari succubus on her way to her sorority’s first big party. Her futa nature is no secret to Lucy, who won’t keep her hands -or lips- to herself during the car ride. That’s only the start of Lucy’s impulsive exhibitionism. She shags a guy before the entire party. It excites Sharis and she wishes she could be that bold.

But Lucy is whipped, disciplined, and humiliated when upper-class members disapprove. Worse, someone recorded her little show and is blackmailing the entire sorority. When seduction isn’t enough to catch a blackmailer, the sorority turns to Sharis and her supernatural abilities. She makes a dubious deal with another, more powerful, hell-born vixen to save the sorority’s reputation.

Sharis isn’t your typical succubus. She isn’t from hell, she made herself what she is with a spell she shouldn’t have toyed with. But in spite of that, she’s found a home and she’s living the life she’s been dealt well enough. But when called to help a sister, she needs to call in the help of a real succubus. That’s when she has to deal with her heart and her duty. Neither is an easy choice, but then no choice ever is.

The single largest issue with this work is that it needs a serious editing in many ways. For example, at the beginning the sentence: “She leafed through the illuminated illustrations. ” No. That’s completely incorrect. There are a lot of instances of such mistakes appearing throughout the work and it really hurts what otherwise, as a story, has its moments.

As well, the dialogue is very stiff at times, it doesn’t sound like anything “in a normal conversational tone.” Beyond that, at times the narration loses its way, there are points where some details are skimmed over but most of all, there’s a real disjointed feeling to the story overall. It feels like the author was trying to find their way, didn’t quite manage it, but pressed on anyway.

The erotica ran hot and cold for me. I didn’t care for the attempts at BDSM, discipline and so on. It didn’t feel right, read right or, in the end, manage to get the story to move very far. I did like Sharis in some of her intimate moments, but again, there was a disconnection from what happened, who was involved. Sharis being pleasured in a car could have been very hot, but what comes out is little better than a hot flash. Really overall much of what Sharis gets involved in are hot flashes with little heat in them.

That is until Jacquette makes her appearance. While Sharis is the main character of the story, and a succubus, Jacquette is a far more interesting character overall. She’s more of a succubus, more seductive, more in tune with her powers and not afraid to use them to her advantage. There’s a neat little moment at the end of the work, beyond the climax, where Jacquette offers Sharis a boon and Sharis has to consider it. The idea of the series returning to that, the possibility for Sharis to be taught by Jacquette in fascinating to me. I hope that happens.

Jacquette is very much a more “evil” presence, she is very much a succubus, and glorifies in that. I liked her no-nonsense character, how she is very clear in what she wants and more. Where that takes Sharis in the future will be telling I think in many ways. The contrast between Jacquette’s evil and Sharis not accepting that she has to be so, to the point of pressing against Jacquette, was a wonderful scene.

I like both Jacquette and Sharis, but honestly without the story being edited better, the story being more, it’s hard to really enjoy.  Overall, the author taking the time to write more heat in their erotica rather than trying to write a porn scene would help a lot as well. More time spent on character, telling more about the relationships, opening up the story to be more would make this all it wants to be, but sadly can’t.

Two out of five pitchforks.

The work needs a serious editing, the number of mistakes in word choice, grammar and most of all the difficulty in reading the narration, or being able to get through the dialogue without wincing is a problem. It shouldn’t be. There’s too much promise in Sharis and Jacquette for that to happen. I like them both as characters, but there’s so little development to be seen and that bothered me. There’s some hope, at least in how this work closed, that the next work will press Sharis as a character forwards and I dearly hope that happens. Along with at least one more editing pass.

 

Tera

Oct 09 2016

A review of Turned into a Succubus: Gender Transformed by the Devil Herself by Lily Fey

Turned into a Succubus: Gender Transformed by the Devil Herself by Lily Fey

Turned into a Succubus: Gender Transformed by the Devil Herself by Lily Fey

There are some stories in which the ending is pretty much telegraphed from the opening paragraph. There’s little to be surprised over, the characters are somewhat stereotypical in their nature. Such stories tend to turn towards a darker ending, many times having a twist in the work, which isn’t really a twist all things considered.

Corruption of a character into being a succubus can be very trope-like. It really shouldn’t be. But sometimes the main character gets what they wanted from the beginning and so the story fits that purpose. The story holds to that darker form, that expression of evil only. I find that boring overall, and rather depressing sometimes.

  • Title: Turned into a Succubus: Gender Transformed by the Devil Herself
  • Author: Lily Fey
  • Length: 32 Pages
  • ASIN: B013GKHUZS
  • Publishing Date: August 4, 2015
  • This work at Amazon.com

It is the story of:

Arrogant sorcerer and gothic pretty boy Foster makes painstaking preparations and horrific sacrifices in order to bring the Devil into this world, so that he may ask Satan himself if he can serve under him as a demon. The only thing is, the Prince of Darkness is more like a Princess of Darkness, and she’s not willing to turn Foster into a demon unless he can prove himself to her.

Eager to please his Dark Mistress and prove his loyalty, Foster undergoes a gender transformation, and, if the newly transformed sorceress can prove herself, Satan just might turn her into a full-fledged demon. Little does Foster know that when you make a deal with the Devil you’ve got to read the fine print, because Satan has quite the role in mind for her new-found demon-to-be.

Foster’s goal has been to get the Devil’s attention. He finally does, and she’s unimpressed with him. Still, she could use him somewhere, for some purpose. Foster then discovers that what he wanted isn’t what she gets.

Overall the story is rather dark, the characters are, for the most part, unlikeable in their thoughts, actions and words. Foster in particular is really very unlikeable and that’s a problem when that is the main character. There’s not a single redeeming quality about him, nor really does his character develop into something more than what he starts with.

The devil’s first appearance is a quick transformation scene, one that passed far too quickly. The same can be said for Foster’s own. There’s not a lot of detail, there’s a rush to get to the sex and that leaves a lot to be desired overall.

The erotica isn’t very hot, really it is a series of porn movie scenes strung together with some various taunts and promises from the Devil herself. It’s somewhat clinical, forced, and the heat just isn’t there.

There’s a real lack of character development, there’s little time spent in telling more about the Devil, to give her more character than being evil and manipulative. Foster is singularly focused on one purpose throughout the work. When his “rewards” is given, the shift into that new form, being a succubus, is done in an instant, there’s a complete change in her personality, and she’s evil… just because.

I couldn’t really get into the story, I didn’t really care about any of the characters. The erotica didn’t have much heat, the theme was overall dark and to a point depressing. Even the twist, when it came, didn’t do much save stress how much Foster’s transformation changed her, making her a pawn. But then she’d always been one. She just never realized it.

One and a half out of five pitchforks.

I didn’t like any of the characters overall, they all being stereotypical in their actions, words and thoughts. The transformation was well done, but then the story devolved into sex scenes, some dark turns and a feeling that, in the end, nothing came from it. Perhaps it is what the characters wanted from the beginning, at least one did, and I expect they all did in the end.

 

Tera

Oct 08 2016

A YouTube video game scene with a Succubus possession

Most of the time in video games, Succubi appear as actual characters, horns, tail and all. It’s uncommon as a whole to find a game where there’s a bit of a succubus possession theme. That’s more of a popular theme in story writing and it can make for some interesting storylines. I found a YouTube showing a scene from Dungeon Travellers 2 in which a character has possession of a Succubus Ring… and then is possessed by it…

 

If you can’t see the video here on the Tale, please try this link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjlVF9wqVtY

Now while there isn’t an actual image of the succubi, there is one of the character being possessed… and so…

Dungeon Travellers Possessed by Succubus

The main change is the eye colour of the character and that glow around the ring she’s wearing. It’s actually quite a change from her usual personality to being possessed… and no, she’s just as busty before, during and after, the succubus has nothing to do with that.

I thought how the succubus told of her dreams of wanting the player’s character and using that to control her, and trying to control him, had a little bit of mind control as well which, sadly, didn’t really go very far.

Still, the entire scene might make for a good little bit of erotica at some point for me to write…

We’ll see…

 

Tera

Oct 07 2016

A Review of The Demon’s Daughter Likes to Watch by Nessa Triskelion

The Demon's Daughter Likes to Watch by Nessa Triskelion

The Demon’s Daughter Likes to Watch by Nessa Triskelion

A short time ago I reviewed the first work in a new series about a succubus named Elodie and you can find that review here on the Tale. At the time I noted a series of questions and issues that bothered me about the work. I also mentioned what I had hoped might be the focus of any works that followed. Recently another work did appear and while there was some opportunity for more story to be told, and there was to a point, the story of Elodie herself seemed to go into a bit of a tail spin… literally.

Telling a story needs to be more than a narrative about what happens around a character. Even when that story has some heat in it, not doing something with that heat can be disappointing. It’s a shame when much of the story seems to be pieced together and the outcome winds up to be not much more than an interlude.

The second work in Elodie’s story is:

The work tells the story of:

Elodie is a fledgling succubus just trying to make her way through college. When she and her best friend have the opportunity to watch a pair of girls make out in the showers, will she be able to resist trying out her powers on Stephanie? No. No she won’t. And the result will certainly be juicy…

Elodie has a series of issues, not the least of which is that she needs a job and quickly. Being dragged by her best friend to work out brings with it a little voyeurism, some fun and games and the possibility of something going right for her. But not all things are quite expected and family is, after all, family.

I had the feeling that this work was a little lost for the most part. There didn’t seem to be a real direction to the story at times for one. The other issue was that the erotica felt almost tacked onto the story as an afterthought. The heat simmered, trying to come to a boil, but never really got there. It teased and not much more than that. More so, the erotica didn’t really “show” very much, leaving much of what happened to the reader’s imagination. It was a little disappointing in that this work is about Elodie, she is a succubus, and she barely acts as one.

Part of that is Elodie’s character, her desire to not depend on the talents she has, which storywise is interesting to read. But that means the story falls back on what happens otherwise to her. Her day isn’t really under her control so much as she is dragged along by circumstance. Elodie tends to be rather whiny much of the time, but there are moments when the story takes a positive turn.

Some of this is her desires when she encounters someone, some is her past which is touched on more. Still more comes from the appearance of a family relation. But in all of these moments it happens so fast that little time is spent on developing things than it is in a rush to move onto the next moment in the story. Much like the first work in the series, this work is too short, which leaves a lot of story and development to the side.

I really do like Elodie as a character. I’d like to know more about her mother, which doesn’t happen, and as for Lala, Elodie’s aunt that appears for a fleeting moment there’s a certain familiarly about her, one that suggests that this universe is connected with another series in some way. Perhaps, as in that series, there will be something told about Lala herself along with Elodie.

While there are no obvious editing issues, the story is short, the heat of the erotica is lacking. Character development gets a toehold, enough to start to tell something about Elodie herself, but only skims the surface. The main thing, as a whole, is the work is far too short and that hurt the heat, the story itself and the characters.

Three out of five pitchforks.

The heat that exists in this work doesn’t actually settle around Elodie. It holds itself to a pair of minor characters that appear, then vanish moments later. Even when Elodie’s powers come to the fore and there is some heat, that felt muted and inconsequential. That said, the telling of more about Elodie, her life, her family and those around her was what kept me in this story. But it wasn’t quite as strong as the first work in the series.

There will, obviously I think, another work in the series to come. Perhaps with that will also be some focus on building Elodie’s character, telling about her mother, who still is a mystery, and perhaps take Elodie from being something of a wall flower into something more.

I hope so, because there’s a lot about Elodie I like and would like to see more of. I hope that will be.

 

Tera

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