It is never a simple thing to put the thoughts in one’s mind onto the computer screen and share them with the world. The idea can be very good, the characters, setting, and moments in the story can be more than enough to hold the interest of the reader by far. The problem comes when the story isn’t what the reader expects.
The other is when the story suddenly ends, or tries to, and then what follows is an information dump that doesn’t seem to tie into the story just read, or, for that matter, just leaves the reader completely confused about what they just read in the first place.
- Title: Jezebel
- Author: Gabriel Grantham
- Length: 17 Pages
- IBSN: 9781311254580
- Publishing Date: October 20, 2014
- This work at Smashwords.com
This work has a very long summary, I have reduced that to this shorter version for brevity:
Jezebel reigned in Hell as Queen of the Succubi. Empowered by Lust, Jezebel was the Embodiment of Lust, Sex, The Lascivious, The Lustful, Ultimate Man Eater. Born a Demogorgon V-Class Succubus from Archangel Michael and a Daughter of Eve, Jezebel held Hell Lordship, and descended to take her place as a ruler of Demonic Realms, where Jezebel possessed the powers of a Dark Lord as a Demon Queen on par with the Seven Princes of Hell.
A seductive devil on an eternal journey for the fall of man into the sins of the flesh as she fed on the Souls of the fallen. With connections to powerful people in the criminal underworld, and as a powerful figure in organized crime, she took on a human disguise to blend in with society as Jezebel Jackson, a multimillionaire businesswoman from London, England living in Los Angeles, United States.
The summary seems to point towards a story that begins in the current day and continues from there. What in fact seems to happen is that the story begins with Jezebel, the succubus of the work, being present in the middle of a war. It tells a short story about what happens there before skimming onwards into a larger story, but not in detail, and then… things get confusing. But I’ll return to that a bit later on.
Jezebel is not quite a stereotypical Succubus in character, and thankfully she has no hooves, is the image of the seductress, and more importantly, she is intelligent, powerful, and isn’t afraid to be exactly who she is and do the things she is capable of. I liked her from the moment she appears in the story and there is a lot of personality and strength of will in her that does make for some really interesting story telling… at first.
The beginning of the work, seeing her in her role in what seems to be a war among demons is well done and , in truth, that on its own would make for an entire book by itself. It isn’t over the top erotica, in fact there is very little erotica, the story does not need that, and that works well because it tells of Jezebel’s will and what she is capable of doing beyond her powers of a Succubus. The problem comes in that the story in the war comes to an end very quickly and then what follows reads like the outline to her life, things that she does, and then the story comes to a sudden halt when an unexpected conflict confronts her.
But unlike the war told well, this is all bits and pieces, teases of story and nothing more. It pales in comparison to the beginning of the work and that takes quite a lot from it. Then the work takes another turn and there is a massive information dump about beings, monsters and so on that just feels like it was added into the work to pad out the length.
In short, the work is unfocused and scattered which is a problem. Within the pages of the work it is billed as a prologue to a series, but it doesn’t feel like a prologue as a whole. The story of the war does and does that well, but it is the telling of what comes next and then the odd addition of the information dump that removes any sort of structure to the work.
This didn’t need to happen at all. The author should have told the story of Jezebel in war, in much more detail, more than they did. That is a story that I found to be very interesting and I wanted more of that. There are so many questions left unanswered, and the characters that appear alongside Jezebel as well are fascinating. But that isn’t built on. It should have been rather than skipped over.
Two out of five pitchforks.
It’s just so scattered a work as a whole that it is hard to understand why the work is written the way it is. If it was just the opening itself with a better summary than this work has it would be perfectly fine and that alone would keep my interest in reading this tale in the following parts. But the addition of a passage that fells like it was put in to pad the length of the work just creates so much confusion and that wasn’t necessary at all. More of the past told would have been good. Focus on that and the rest will come when it should otherwise.