Sometimes the concept for a book is better than the work itself. Taking a simple premise and turning it into a story is not the easiest of thing to do. It’s a bit more disappointing when there is the hint of a story that has a lot of background, which isn’t shown. Starting a work with story, a good concept, and characters that seem to have something going for them and then quickly moving towards what amounts to a porn movie doesn’t do a lot for me.
That’s a shame when the Succubus herself does, in a lot of ways, have a lot going for her. And I do not mean her looks alone, or her sex appeal or drive.
- Title: My Stepmother is a Succubus
- Author: Jenny Clara Fick
- Length: 15 Pages
- IBSN: 9781310819988
- Publishing Date: July 27, 2014
- This work at Smashwords.com
The work tells of:
Jerry returns from college to find his Dad re-married to a stacked babe named Margo. But is Margo all that she appears? Or is she actually a Succubus intent on slurping every last drop of cum from Jerry and his Dad.
Spoiler Alert: It’s the latter.
Jerry arrives home to find that his father has remarried to his surprise. Her name is Margo, she looks very much like a porn star, snd Jerry can’t get her out of his mind. Soon enough he can’t get out of her clutches and discoveries just how insatiable a Succubus can be.
The idea of this story is actually a good one in a lot of ways. I especially liked Margo’s seduction of Jerry, the use of what seems to be mind control on her two “victims” and her character. She is obviously a Succubus from the moment she appears and isn’t at all tame about her wants and needs. But while that part of the story is the focus of it, there are moments in the beginning of the story which lead to a lot of questions about Margo herself. None of these are really answered of course as the story quickly moves from setting up how she is there to what she does to Jerry and his father.
The erotica is very “porn movie” in tone as a whole, but while that does overwhelm a lot of the side story and other, at least to me, interesting moments, there is a good deal of heat in it which comes from Margo’s use of her Succubus powers. She plays with Jerry, in a lot of different ways, she uses a bit of mind control on him as well. That part of the erotica is actually hotter than the actual sex scenes overall save for one minor thing that bothered me.
Whenever Margo used her powers on Jerry, any actions that started were all in capitals and then the ending scene was marked in capitals as well. That bothered me for two reasons, one, it was jarring in that moment, but more so as these happened right about the time where, usually, I expect to see some of the powers of a Succubus appear and seduce fully. But that turns out to be a rare thing in the work. It’s when Margo’s control over Jerry is used, told fully, that the story becomes very hot and I enjoyed that part of it.
Margo in her Succubus form has horns and tail, but she also has a bit of an odd addition to her that, at least for me, made me tilt my head and wonder about a lot. Still, she is a Succubus, she puts Jerry on a leash and has her way with him and then… The story ends rather abruptly.
This work was supposed to be the first in a series, but as of this review I haven’t found the next work in the series. As such, this work standing on its own… doesn’t really. It’s missing something to make this more than porn and more of a story. That could have happened and should have if for no other reason than the first scene when Jerry meets Margo and she twines her tail around him,
Two and a half out of five pitchforks.
The idea is interesting, and this could have been more than a very short hot flash, but it isn’t. There is the beginnings of a story, one that would be nice to see, but it gets overcome by the need to get to the porn scenes. That’s a shame honestly… I think there’s a good basis for a book here, the author just needs to find it.