There is such a thing as a short story. To me, a short story has a plot, characters that are at least somewhat interesting, and a conclusion to the story that, to some extent, makes the story worth reading.
There is such a thing as a hot flash. To me, that’s a story in which the erotica is hot and climaxes very quickly.
To make the two of them work together isn’t the easiest of things. Doing so in a story that has no depth to it, other than the climax is a problem sometimes… It’s worse when the work has an obvious mistake in it that removing a single comma would have fixed before publishing it.
- Title: The Succubi
- Author: Dionysus K.
- Length: 6 Pages
- ASIN: B00IXR3C48
- Publishing Date: March 10, 2014
- This work at Amazon.com
The work tells of:
They want his body and his soul … A short erotic horror story.
Jacob is visited by a trio of Succubi that have their way with him, over and over again. They do with him as they wish, he having no control over what happens and when it is over finds himself in a compromising position with a story to tell that seems impossible to the one he tells it to.
This work is described as an erotic horror story, but there isn’t all that much in the way for horror. There is a hot flash, some erotica, and much of the story is spent telling of what the Succubi do to Jacob. The story reads like a porn movie for the most part with a touch of mind control and body manipulation for good measure.
The story seems to be told from Jacob’s point of view, but at times it also tries to tell what the Succubi are thinking as well. It makes for a story that seems to be pieced together from multiple viewpoints and in that comes a lot of confusion.
It could be said that Jacob had a dream about Succubi or that they came to him in a dream and then passed into the real world, but the ending makes any point of this very vague. The ending itself kills off any sort of heat in the story very quickly and I cannot understand why the author decided to end the story where they did.
If this is supposed to be horror, I would expect a certain ending. If it is erotica, I expect another. What this work has is a bucket of water that is tossed over Jacob in what has to be the most awful way possible.
There is a major editing mistake that should have been caught but wasn’t. Not just once, not twice mind you, but at least ten times the author confused “it’s” for “its”. For example “baring it’s fangs” is completely wrong. What little dialog there is does not sound right, the ending for one didn’t make sense. It sounded like there were words missing. It would have served this author well to edit this work at least one more time, not so much the content as the grammar and spelling.
I’m giving this work one out of five pitchforks.
It needs editing badly. It’s an attempt at a hot flash that ends abruptly and in a way that just made me question the entire point to the work. Far too short, really nothing to it and I didn’t care for it much.