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Dec 12 2014

Does the Lost Girl do windows?

The last season of Lost Girl started this past week and I have to admit that I was… disappointed with the premiere episode. The one thing that I cannot accept is when a storyline in the past says one thing, but then is completely tossed aside for the sake of having a rather inane scene unfold. I don’t expect things to make complete sense, after all that’s something that isn’t going to happen often, but there is such a thing as a series bible for writers to follow. So why don’t they? More on this rant later I promise.

The other thing that gets to me is when the action in the episode just stalls out. Sweeping vistas and landscapes are wonderful, but they don’t add anything to a story, only take time away from it. Standing in an elevator doesn’t do much either. Walking around and looking for the sake of killing time in an episode is, after all, just killing time. The end result of wasting time is taking what should have been one action packed episode and stretching it out over two episodes. It’s a waste honestly. And there isn’t any time to waste this season because it is the last one after all.

There is, however the parts of this episode that I liked, that had promise and, I hope, foretell something really amazing happening in the next episode of the series. But with that something amazing I fear there will be also something that does, sadly, mean that we won’t see a favorite character any more in the series. Promise is one thing. Getting run over by boredom kind of ruins that for me as a whole and it shouldn’t. Still, I’ll hang on to the promise in spite of the many, many things that I didn’t enjoy in this week’s episode.

The first episode of the fifth season, also episode sixty-two of the Lost Girl TV series, was this week. Bo goes to Hell and discovers that the goddess in charge cares more about flower arrangements and colour patterns than anything else. Lauren gets a black eye when she and Dyson open a gate and find it shocking. Tamsin gets fixated on boobs and cereal for some reason or another while Trick does a lot of reading… again. And Kenzi’s dreams turn into nightmares… just because they can.

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This is the first review of the fifth season of of Lost Girl. A summary of this episode has been added to the SuccuWiki, but won’t be adding my commentary to the articles there as that is what the Tale is for….

Bo finds that wearing some shoes can hurt…

 

Like Hell, Part I

 

The episode opens with a series of flashbacks which include: Bo (Anna Silk) telling Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) that they are family, and Kenzi telling Bo that family sticks together, Trick (Richard Howland) telling about the Helskor and what they are capable of, including leading to the end of days, Bo telling Dyson (Kristen Holden-Ried) that she needs to find the missing Helskor, Hale (K.C. Collins) proposing to Kenzi and then being killed by Massimo, then Bo refusing to save Hale, Kenzi telling Bo that she would never forgive her. Bo telling Lauren that she chose her and then Lauren broke her heart, Kenzi demanding that Bo unclaim her and then Bo doing so, Bo crying out that her father was close by and that she could feel him, Dyson claiming reality to Bo, and Bo warning Lauren that she was going to be a target as she was able to turn Fae human. Kenzi reading the prophecy about Bo’s heart being able to close the portal and stop Bo’s father from returning to Earth, Kenzi stating that she would wait in Valhalla for Bo to rescue her, Bo grieving at Kenzi’s grave, and finally Tamsin (Rachel Skarsten) warning Dyson that he could not allow Bo to find the second Helskor.

The actual episode begins with an image of a rocky desert landscape, Bo climbing up a desert peak and singing the words to She’ll be coming round the Mountain as she does so. Reaching the top of the peak, Bo pauses, looking around at the landscape, having a flashback of Kenzi’s death at the Portal, and then rummaging around a bird’s nest that rests there. eventually removing the second Helskor that she was seeking. As Bo holds the shoe, the ground shakes and she comments: “Like I wasn’t expecting a booby trap.” Bo then begins her descent, but then loses her grip at one point, commenting to herself “Oh, come on.” and then falls to the ground a long distance below her. The scene then moves to Bo laying on the ground and three hunters finding her there unconscious, badly injured, but alive. After they comment about “taking her home and taking turns taking care of her”, one of them leans in close to Bo, and in the next moment Bo takes the Chi from that hunter and then the other two immediately afterwards. Bo is healed, then comments to one of the hunters: “How sad, you don’t get to take care of anyone ever again.” before setting foot on his privates, picking up the Helskor and then walking away, continuing to sing to herself as she does so.

Following a very abbreviated opening title sequence, which consists of the Lost Girl show title and a few bars of the theme, Bo is then seen back at her home where she rummages around looking for something before calling out “Roommate!” and storming off. Bo enters another room where Tamsin is eating cereal and demands to know where Tamsin hid the other Helskor that Bo had possession of. Tamsin attempts to lie about where it is, replying “Where’d I hide what shoe?”, Bo commenting: “Oh lying is not your strong suit milk mouth, cough it up.” When Tamsin comments that Bo has found the other shoe and asks how, Bo replies: “Eagles. Climbing. Very ‘I’m not a girl. Not yet a woman.’ So now I can put on both shoes and skip into Valhalla to get Kenzi back. Kenzi? You remember? She raised you when you were a wee reborn Valkyrie?” Tamsin pleads with Bo, telling Bo that she cannot go to Valhalla, but when Bo asks why, Tamsin can only reply that Bo cannot go, but not the reason why she cannot, other than Bo will never come back, adding: “There’s a why, a really good why.” Bo is unimpressed commenting: “Good stuff, very convincing.” Tamsin begs Bo to trust her and not continue on the path she is choosing, but Bo replies: “I can hear you in your sleep. Screaming. What happened when you delivered Kenzi’s soul?” Tamsin tells Bo that she wishes she could explain, but she cannot do so. Bo begs Tamsin to tell her what happened no matter how awful or horrible it is, mentioning “Hellfire, evil dragons, sexy dragons, I don’t care”, but Tamsin refuses to answer. When Bo asks Tamsin to go with her to Valhalla, Tamsin again refuses to answer and Bo resigns herself to go to Valhalla alone. Bo demands the shoe again, Tamsin comments that it belongs to the Una Mens, Bo noting that they are all dead and wanting to know what Tamsin’s point is. Tamsin then tells Bo: “It’s with the next in charge.” before continuing to eat her cereal.

The next scene begins at the Dal Riata where Bo places the Helskor shoe she recovered on the bar in front of Trick and Dyson. Trick tells Bo that they need to talk, but Bo replies: “This is the part where you tell me I’m making the wrong choice and putting myself in grave danger.” Trick answers: “Well, sort of.” Then Bo continues: “And in dealing with matters of the Afterlife there are unknowns, rules. Everything has a price.” Trick asks if Bo is willing to pay the price and her answer is: “Nailed it.” Bo explains that Kenzi is in danger and alone and she was “held back from saving her once and I will not let that happen again.” Dyson tells Bo that they will do what they can to ensure her return and that he would go with Bo if he could do so. Bo asks if that choice is because Dyson pledged fealty to her. but Dyson replies: “Because I love Kenzi too.” Trick then offers Bo the shoe he had in his possession with the words: “For the worthy hero. Bring her home. And if you happen to see Isabeau, your Grandmother, tell her…” Trick does not finish that sentence, but Bo nods in understanding, picks up both shoes, and comments: “Let’s hope they fit.”

The next scene begins with Lauren in a medical clinic looking after patients. A coughing patient attracts Lauren’s attention and she comments to another doctor: “He’s code you know what. We’ll take him in.” Lauren then sees Bo standing nearby, holding the Helskor. They move off to a private room where Bo begins with: “Worst case? I loose all control and go on a murderous spree like the last person that put on these shoes and the only way to stop me is to…” Bo then makes a throat cutting motion with her hand, then continues: “That’s code for slit my throat” and Lauren replies: “Very clear thank you. I’m assuming that’s what happened to the woman from Dyson’s past? The one that your subconscious depicted as me?” Bo teases: “You sang in French you know.” Lauren asks if she was good and Bo comments: “A plus.” Bo tells Lauren that she doesn’t want to hurt anyone and Lauren promises that Bo will not. Lauren then walks towards some of her equipment, explaining as she does that she will be watching for anything “abnormal.” As Lauren looks at tablet, Bo puts one of the shoes on and when Lauren returns, Bo grips Lauren by the throat, giving her a slightly evil look before laughing and letting go of Lauren, she commenting: “Oh. We’re joking.” Lauren then asks Bo not to put the other shoe on until she has done some tests and has calibrated her equipment, including using an anal thermometer on Bo. When Lauren walks away, Bo mumbles to herself: “I have to get to Kenzi” and puts the other shoe on. After a moment, both shoes vanish leaving Bo in her bare feet. Bo gasps out Lauren’s name and Lauren comes running over to Bo, asking what she did. Bo explains that she “had to, I couldn’t wait.” Bo has just enough time to tell Lauren that something is happening inside of her, reach out to touch Lauren’s hand, and then Bo vanishes in a burst of light. Lauren looks to where Bo had been moments before and says: “Other worst case? You disappear.”

Bo is then seen in what appears to be the lobby of a vast hotel, climbing up a circular staircase. She walks around the lobby for a short time and then pauses to look at some flowers and touch them. A woman (Michelle Nolden) later to be revealed as Freyja, walks up to Bo and comments: “You’re late.” Bo asks what she is late for and the woman replies: “The shitstorm. Welcome to my hell.”

After the first commercial break, Freyja continues, as she fiddles with a flower arrangement: “Two hundred and six arrivals, thirty-nine events and a disaster of a reno in the Turkish spa.” Bo asks: “A spa? In Hell?” Freyja answers: “Only I am allowed to call it Hell, it’s Valhalla to you.” before then going on a rant about what kinds of flowers she wants to see in the lobby and elsewhere in her realm. When Bo comments that filler is “blah.” Freyja looks at Bo, realizes that she is not “the florist” and asks “Why in the name of my glorious afterlife were you fondling my flower?” Bo pauses, then answers: “That’s a great set up for a joke really but lady.” Freyja interrupts with: “Mistress.” Then continues: “What am I supposed to do now? My florist is stuck in Tartarus till Tuesday.” before storming off. Bo rushes after her, saying that she is looking for a friend to which Freyja replies with no interest at all: “How refreshingly earnest of you. Check in first, make friends later.” before walking off again.

A women stands at the check-in desk for Valhalla, and is told that she “isn’t in our system” by the clerk there before being ignored by him. She then walks past Freyja who comments in a disgusted voice: “Ugh. A stray.” Freyja then gestures towards the woman who then vanishes into a black portal surrounded by fire that Freyja summoned. As a bellhop cleans up some ashes on the floor, Freyja comments: “Always book ahead” and then asks Bo what her name is. Bo then diverts Freyja’s attention towards a group of female athletes. As they walk past, Freyja comments: “Warriors truly. They would kill to win. Until a bus killed them. Large groups are the worst.” As Freyja walks off, Bo comments: “Speak for yourself.” before turning her attention to the front desk clerk. Bo attempts to use her powers to influence him in order to obtain some information, but he refuses to allow Bo to touch him and she is unsuccessful, leaving moments later, looking for another way to find Kenzi. Bo notices a maid cleaning a railing above her and shortly approaches the maid, touches her, and draws her away from her duties.

The scene shifts to Tamsin, who is watching television at Bo’s place. Lauren enters the room and comments: “Wow. This is sad.” Lauren then asks Tamsin to tell her everything about the Underrealms, but Tamsin’s response is: “Eat a sack of tits.” Lauren asks Tamsin why but the answer she gets is: “Because then your mouth would be full of tits and I wouldn’t have to listen to your dumb ass voice.” Lauren presses Tamsin for information. Lauren calls Valhalla Tamsin’s home, she calls it “more like our head office.” Lauren tells Tamsin that she can help and she has to. Tamsin tells Lauren that she has no idea why she can’t but Lauren presses on telling Tamsin: “You claim to be part of this group, that you love Kenzi and Bo? I don’t see it.” Tamsin angrily tells Lauren: “Well, maybe you should wear some glasses.” Lauren isn’t moved, telling Tamsin: “You kind of peaked at ‘Sack of tits.'” Lauren presses on, demanding to know what Bo is facing in Valhalla, but Tamsin does not answer. Instead she picks up a knife and then cuts into the couch she is sitting on. Tamsin then removes a diary, handing it to Lauren with the warning: “If they find out this diary exists I’m dead.” Lauren takes the diary and asks: “How is documentation of your first Valkyrie kiss supposed to help me?” As Tamin fixes up the couch again, she tells Lauren: “It’s less first finger bang and more… just more. Trust me. Plus I never kiss and tell.”Lauren tells Tamsin to “sprout some wings and fly to Bo” but Tamsin refuses, saying that she needs a soul to go to Valhalla. Lauren notes that she has a far who is dying in her clinic and offers that to Tamsin. Tamsin replies that Lauren is human and “you’ll never understand.” Lauren tells Tamsin: “Maybe not. But we have all made sacrifices except for you. It’s time to get your Valkyrie on Tamsin.”

We return to Bo who is now dressed like one of the maids as she enters an elevator. There are literally hundreds of buttons on all of the walls of the elevator and for a moment Bo looks at them in confusion. She then pauses at one button, looks at it, smiles, and comments: “Kenzi prints.” Using the maid’s keycard, Bo activates the elevator, presses the button and then exits the elevator on one of the hotel’s floors. After passing two women in the hallway, Bo wanders the hallway until she reaches a hotel room door, opens it, and goes inside. A woman is seen kneeling on the floor by the bed in a black dress, her face is not shown, but she is eating chocolate. Bo approaches her and calls out: “Kenzi?” Kenzi turns to look at Bo with wide eyes and says: “Bo-Bo.”

After another commercial break, Kenzi and Bo rush towards each other, screaming happily and their words to each other frantically spoken until there is a pause and Bo asks: “You don’t look dead” and Kenzi replies: “I don’t feel dead.” Kenzi tells Bo that she’s missed her and Bo tells Kenzi: “I’ve missed you. Not since you walked into the portal, but before then. I was distant and selfish and…” Kenzi stops Bo, telling her: “Bo. I’m here, you’re here. In couture apparently, but that’s all that matters.” Bo tries to ask Kenzi if she has seen Hale but Kenzi stops her, shouting: “Safety test!” Bo asks: “Mother’s name?” Kenzi answers: “Birth, Aife. Adopted, Mary Dennis. Dream, Tina Turner.” Kenzi asks: “Wing sauce?” Bo’s answer is: “Half extra hot, half honey garlic, all blue cheese dipped.” Bo then asks: “Middle name?” Kenzi replies: “Trick question, you don’t have one.” Kenzi’s last question is: “Favourite alias?” Bo struggles with that question, noting that Kenzi has had so many of them, but finally answers: “Toni with an ‘i’ Soprano.” Kenzi then joyfully sits on the bed with Bo and wants to “tell you all about how this place is hell, but first, do you want a Belgium waffle?” Bo looks at the offered waffle, commenting: “Yeah. It looks totally hellish” before taking a bite, being amazed how good it is. Bo then asks Kenzi if she has been hurt, Kenzi says that she hasn’t been and that “it’s been five star everything since I got here. Anything I want? Mine. Watch this!” Kenzi then picks up the room phone and comments that she doesn’t like the view, which had mountains in it. There is a sound like the room moving and the scene out of the room windows changes. As Bo looks out the window, Kenzi continues: “You know how many emojis I’ve wanted to text you about this place? Any Ben and Jerry’s flavour I want, including the discontinued Oatmeal Cookie Chunk!” Kenzi then rushes off, gathers a small collection of movies, showing them to Bo: “I’ve got Clueless 2, Sister Act 3 Rosemary’s Baby’s Got Back, a prequel to Goonies… And they’re all super watchable.” Then Kenzi shows Bo a card that indicates that Kenzi is hosting a party, also noting that “they keep sending me dresses in my size in hard to pinpoint style.” Then, after a short pause, Kenzi continues: “But I am so glad that you are here to save me from this trash hole.” The room phone then rings, a blue circle glowing around where the rotary dial would be on an old phone. Kenzi walks over to the phone, answers it: “Hello mouth breather. If you want to play stalker from The Bodyguard, try Whitney’s room! I’m busy!” After Kenzi hangs up the phone, Bo asks what the call was about, Kenzi replying: “Blue light hotel perv calling once a day. Another reason for you to get me out of here.” Kenzi then offers Bo some Chunky Monkey ice cream, the two enjoying it, as the scene ends.

Meanwhile, at the Dal Riata, Lauren, Dyson and Trick are looking through Tamsin’s diary. Lauren frets: “For all we know they are being tortured, or burned alive or worse buried alive over and over again. Hellshoes? Emphasis on the ‘hell’? Why couldn’t Tamsin tell us herself?” Trick explains: “A Valkyrie’s blood is bound by secrecy. If they discuss details of other worlds they die.” Lauren comes to grips with this and understands that the only way Tamsin can talk about Valhalla is through a secret journal. Dyson reads a passage of Tamsin’s journal where she writes: “Thomas thinks my job is so simple. Heaven, Hell, so much more than that. I have to run along now, sneaking into Tartarus with Nismat today.” When Lauren asks about Tartarus, Trick replies that it is an afterlife that he thought was fiction. Trick then explains that folkfore says that souls are assigned to different realms.” Lauren asks if Kenzi is in Valhalla, then wouldn’t the Hellskor take Bo there but Dyson interrupts with another passage of the diary which reads: “How silly. Everyone is chattering about a pair of shoes created for non-Valkyries so that they could enter Valhalla on the Bifrost.” Lauren hears “Bifrost” as being “Beef Roast” when Trick says the word and asks Trick if he is hungry. Trick then explains that Bifrost connects the different realms like the branches of a tree or a bridge. Dyson then ominously continues: “The wearer of the shoes can collect souls to build a dark army. The army to end all life.” Trick asks: “The real question: Why do they only work on Bo? Someone or something wants her to bring hell on Earth.” Lauren comments: “This is bigger than bringing Kenzi back isn’t it.” Trick replies: “It’s bigger then all of us,” Dyson then shares an image and explains that he knows where the place is, having found Tamsin there after she took Kenzi’s soul to Valhalla, but that the gate only reveals itself to Valkyries. Lauren wonders if there is a way for them to mislead the gate and trick it into appearing because she has a lock of Tamsin’s hair that she took from Massimo’s things after he was killed by Bo. Dyson comments that usually he is against using anything from Massimo, but: “if this is the only way? Let’s go and open some gates.” as he and Lauren leave the Dal Riata and Trick behind. As they do so, Trick continues to look through Tamsin’s diary, pausing at some evil looking images.

Back in Valhalla, Freyja is ranting over the efforts of some interior decorators as Tamsin enters the room. Freyja asks Tamsin what colour she thinks a chair is, Tamsin answering: “Um… Not Lame′?” Freyja nods: “Good answer.” After the interior decorators leave, Freyja comments that Tamsin has come home, Tamsin tries to brush that off, saying that she was just delivering a soul and wanted to see her and “Thank you for being so…. great.” Freyja replies: “You are a suspicious little thing. A Valkyrie with an extra seven lives.” When Freyja comments on the deal with Trick, Tamsin asks for forgiveness, but another Valkyrie enters the room and whispers something to Freyja. Freyja then tells Tamsin that she brought “sub-par souls.” When asked what to do with the soul that Tamsin brought: “Up or Down?” Freyja replies: “Down.” This outrages Tamsin and she attempts to defend the soul, but Freyja responds: “With a dead tooth and no please with us.” Freyja justifies her decision by noting: “We house fallen warriors. If you are going to resume your Valkyrie ways, do it right.” Freyja then turns to the Valkyrie that entered the room (Katie Corbett), adding: “Like Stacey.” Stacey looks at Tamsin and comments: “Brave girl. You’re back. And back on complex carbs I see.” After Stacey leaves, Tamsin continues: “I brought you Rainer. I paid my debt.” Freyja declares that Tamsin will have to do more to make amends with the other Valkyrie and that she has made too many deals with the wrong people. Tamsin admits that it is her fault and when she does so, she tells Freyja that she is standing with her, calling Freyja “Mistress. Mother of Valkyries.” Tamsin then begs to talk about “Liberation” with her, but Freyja replies: “I’m interested in a far different kind of release.” Freyja then demands to know about “these souls” and Tamsin claims them to be “A Fae an a human, but their time is not yet.” which refers to Bo and Kenzi. This angers Freyja and she tells Tamsin that Valhalla is: “Not your personal holding pen” and calls what Tamsin has done a “Faux Pas.” Freyja then berates Tamsin for her past and when Tamsin claims to be willing to do anything a phone rings in the room, a blue light glowing around its dial. Tamsin tries to refuse, but Freyja forces Tamsin to answer the phone, saying that she has “held him back long enough.” and adds: “You have made such a mess Tamsin. Clean it up.” before walking away as the phone continues to ring.

Bo and Kenzi in the meantime have been drinking together in Kenzi’s room. Bo asks: “Why haven’t we ever been on vacation?” Kenzi’s answer is: “Apocalypses, love triangles, it’s hard to get away.” There is a knock at the door and when Kenzi opens the door there is something on the floor in front of the door. Picking it up, Kenzi looks at it and then shows Bo what it is. It is the photograph of herself and Hale together that she tore into pieces after his death. Kenzi tells Bo that there were no other copies and as well “That’s Hale’s chicken scratch on the back, I know it.” Kenzi reads the note which says: “See you soon Little Mama.” Bo asks if Kenzi thinks that the note is from Hale, Kenzi does not believe it is and she tells Bo that they need to leave. Bo in the meantime reads a card that was with the photograph and tells Kenzi that: “That party you are hosting? It’s a wedding.” When Kenzi asks who’s wedding, Bo tells Kenzi: “It’s yours. To Hale.” Kenzi doesn’t accept this, saying that Bo came to get her back to Earth adding: “Bo before Bro! Let’s go!” Bo then asks Kenzi to think about this, what if the wedding is real, but Kenzi continues to refuse to accept or consider the possibility. Bo tells Kenzi that she “deserves to be happy. You deserve. And if that is what your heart wants, if you are happy here…” Kenzi whispers: “I would do anything to see him again. Anything. To see him smile at me. To push my face into his back. He has such a nice back!” Bo explains to Kenzi that: “The selfish thing for me to do would be to drag you home with mr. You need to find out.” Kenzi asks Bo to stay for the wedding, and Bo agrees as she wonders if where they are isn’t Hell but Heaven.

Elsewhere, Tamsin has approached the phone and answers it. After a pause she recites: “Eyes both brown and blue. Virtuous yet lustful. Heart both strong and gentle. Neither Dark nor Light. Yet both. She is yours.” As Tamsin hangs up the phone, an evil smile plays across her features.

Returning from commercial, Tamsin is waiting in the lobby for someone and then steps out of hiding as Kenzi enters wrapped in a bathrobe as she leaves an elevator. Kenzi greets Tamsin happily and rather hyperly, wondering if Tamsin is “something old” for her wedding in some way. Kenzi realizes then that Tamsin is mad as Tamsin demands to know where Bo is. Kenzi explains that Bo is on a scavenger hunt: “Looking for something new, something old, something borrowed…” Kenzi then explains to Tamsin that she is getting married to Hale, as well as asking if one of Tamsin’s sisters might have seen Hale. Tamsin does not respond to this, instead asking Kenzi again where Bo is which begins to freak Kenzi out. Tamsin tells Kenzi: “I need to right my wrong.” When Kenzi cannot answer, Tamsin tells Kenzi: “Do you think I will let a little human get in the way of my true potential?” Kenzi tells her: “Your potential was eating an entire box of Vector at one go! Come on! Cheesies! Bad hair days? X-Files! I practically raised you remember?” Tamsin threatens Kenzi, telling her: “I’m not going to hurt you, I’m just going to squeeze you till you pop.” Kenzi then hits Tamsin with a bannister, striking Tamsin in the face. Kenzi apologizes: “Oh my god I’m so sorry I was aiming for your boob!” Kenzi then gathers up her things and rushes away as Tamsin pushes her jaw back into place, following moments behind Kenzi.

Elsewhere in the hotel, Bo arrives at the room where Kenzi’s wedding will be held. Stacey calls out to Bo: “The not-Florist. Can I help you?” Bo replies: “I was just looking for something blue. It’s my best friend’s wedding.” Bo then touches Stacey’s arm, using her powers as she does so, Stacey commenting: “It’s my favourite movie.” Then adding: “No shit, you are a Succubus.” Bo asks if Stacey has seen the Groom, and is told that: “I’ve heard that he’s on his way. Traffic on the Bifrost can be brutal. Let’s hope he’s not late. Or intercepted.” Bo comments: “What did you say? I like my caveats loud and clear.” Stacey explains: “Kenzi proved herself a worthy warrior. Freyja is celebrating her and her love. It was all perfect. Now that you’re here sniffing around I’m not so sure anymore. I have to tell Freyja.” Bo stops her, promising not to “get in the way” but asking to see Hale. Stacey refuses, telling Bo: “You can’t see Hale before the wedding. He’s been fitted.” When Stacey mentions a white fedora that Hale wanted, Bo comments: “That’s him. This is real.” Stacey asks Bo if she’s disappointed, but Bo claims that she isn’t and that she’s happy for Kenzi and Hale, but she’s sad that she will have to say goodbye. Stacey tells Bo to get Kenzi as Hale will be there soon. As Bo leaves, a house phone rings, the blue glow around the dial, and Stacey comments: “It’s not you I’m worried about. It’s him.” as she answers the phone.

Kenzi, in the meantime, has managed to get back to her room and locks the door behind her. Tamsin pound at the door, screaming for Kenzi to let her in, adding that she knows that Kenzi is in the room. Kenzi attempts to convince Tamsin that there is only a cleaning lady in the room which seems to work, and Tamsin seems to leave, but moments later a fire axe comes through the door as Tamsin looks into the room and cries out: “Here’s Tammy!” Before Tamsin can enter the room, Kenzi opens a window and crawls out onto the ledge in an attempt to escape. Tamsin then comes crashing through the door with Bo following her into the room saying: “And here’s Bo.” Tamsin replies: “Isn’t it customary to end that sentence with ‘bitch’?” Bo replies: “You said it crazy eyes.” Tamsin tells Bo: “It’s time to deliver you.” Bo tells Tamsin she isn’t a package, and Tamsin tells Bo there is an easy way or a hard way as she swings the fire axe. Bo asks: “Is there a medium option?” The two then fight each other, wrecking the room before Bo gets the upper hand and pins Tamsin to a wall, finally using her powers to calm Tamsin down and bring the fight to an end. Bo tells Tamsin: “You don’t get to keep attacking us. To hurt me is one thing, but Kenzi?” Tamsin tries to explain that it isn’t because of Valhalla, it is because of what she does there and she didn’t want either Bo or Kenzi to see what she becomes there. Bo then warns Tamsin: “One more strike and you will never set foot into our lives again.” As Bo leaves to find Kenzi, Tamsin explains: “When you fed off of me, you said I tasted happy.” Bo brushes this off, assuming that it was Tamsin’s relationship with Dyson. Tamsin reveals that: “No. For the first time, in all of my lives, I have a family. This is my last life. I don’t want to live it without you.” As Tamsin finishes speaking, the phone rings again. Tamsin tells Bo: “It’s him. The man who hired me I thought it was The Wanderer, but it’s someone more powerful. He wanted me to deliver a woman that I thought couldn’t exist. You do. He wants you Bo.” Bo answers: “Well, he can leave a message. I have a wedding to get to.” Bo then leaves the room as Tamsin stands crying.

After yet another commercial break, Bo and Kenzi are seen walking towards Kenzi’s ceremony, Bo in a black dress and Kenzi in a white wedding gown, her hair done up. Kenzi asks: “How white is too white?” as she brushes her hands over her dress. Bo tells Kenzi that she loves the dress as they stop walking towards the ceremony. Bo tells Kenzi: “Look, you only get married in your afterlife once so you might as well do it right, right?” Kenzi agrees, then adds: “I assume Tamsin isn’t coming to axe the cake?” Bo replies: “She’s in a time out.” Bo then gives Kenzi a series of gifts: “Something old from a warrior to a warrior. Joan of Arc gave it to me in the lobby I saw her in the lobby complaining about a burnt smell in her room.” Kenzi smiles as she looks at the handkerchief: “Classic Joan.” Bo continues: “Something new. Matches from the Gift Shop.” Bo then offers Kenzi her garter knife holder and blade calling it: “Something borrowed.” Kenzi lifts the hem of her dress and Bo wraps the garter around Kenzi’s right thigh, Kenzi then placing the knife and handkerchief beneath it. Bo then tells Kenzi that she ran out of time for ‘something blue’, calling herself the worst Bridesmaid, but Kenzi tells Bo: “No. You’re my something blue.” Bo tells Kenzi: “Kenzi, I’m sorry that I couldn’t save Hale. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to save you.” Kenzi shakes her head: “It was my turn to do the saving. Can you give a girl that?” Bo continues: “How many times have you saved me?” Kenzi shrugs: “A few?” Bo explains: “Since we first met you saved me every. Single. Day. In ways you can never really understand. In ways I can barely understand. You just did. And I want you to be happy. I do. And I know it doesn’t seem like it from the way I was acting but it’s true.” Kenzi, close to tears, tells Bo that she knows. Bo tells Kenzi that she doesn’t want to leave her in Valhalla, which Kenzi says she knows, but tells Bo that she has to leave her there. Bo manages to whisper: “I know.” as a set of doors behind Bo begins to open, a bright light streaming from them. They turn to the doors, Bo tells Kenzi she’s beautiful and asks if Kenzi is ready. Kenzi answers: “To get married dead? Yeah. It’s what every little girl dreams about.” Bo offers Kenzi her arm, Kenzi takes it, saying: “Let’s do this shit.” and they walk towards the open doors together, arm in arm.

Once through the doors, time seems to slow, the light coming from the front of the wedding chapel, Bo and Kenzi walking together down the aisle. Kenzi tells Bo: “I can’t do slow walking, can’t I just run to him?” Bo clutches at her chest, her hand over the place where her Father’s mark once appeared as she tells Kenzi to stop. Kenzi asks why, as they are “almost there. I think.” Bo quickly tells Kenzi: “I just need to run ahead and make sure that everything’s a-ok at the alter. Maid of honour duty. You just stay here okay?” Kenzi tells Bo she will and to hurry. Time slow again, Bo moving towards the light, Kenzi waiting a moment, then following behind Bo. Off in the distance, there is the shadowy image of a man standing at the alter, hands on hips, waiting, who it is cannot be seen clearly. Pausing a short distance from the alter, Bo calls out: “Hale?” The light grows very bright, the scene being washed out and then returning to Kenzi who blinks her eyes. The light brightens again, then a white fedora is shown laying on the floor with white flower petals around it. Freyja then appears behind Bo and Kenzi, telling them: “I sent him back.” Kenzi demands to know what has happens and Freyja explains: “You walked into the Chinvat, closed the door to Hel. Tamsin brought your soul here but had already promised yourself to another after-realm. You belong to him.” Kenzi asks: “Him who?” But Bo replies: “My father.” Freyja then gestures towards Kenzi with the intent to send her away, but Bo attempts to intervene, pleading that Freyja send Kenzi home and that she send Bo to her Father instead, adding: A soul for a soul, I am the one he wants. This was his plan all along. He knew that I would come.” Freyja admits that what Bo is saying is true as Tamsin runs into the room yelling: “Stop! These souls cannot be separated!” Stacey replies, in an uninterested tone: “Look who just read the rule book.” Tamsin explains as she is restrained by two other Valkyrie in the room: “Bo comes wearing the Helskor and is permitted to take home a soul that is claimed to her. Kenzi is her human.” Kenzi tells Bo that she is sorry, but Bo tells Kenzi that it isn’t her fault. Kenzi tells Bo that she thinks Hale was there with him, that she felt him and he was happy. Bo asks Kenzi if she want to stay, but Kenzi refuses, saying: “No. No it’s not my time. I want to go home with you. Reclaim me quick.” Stacey whispers something to Freyja who tells Bo that she does not see a claim and orders one of the Valkyrie to take Kenzi away. Bo tries to claim Kenzi, but Freyja tells Bo: “The deal was made before the claim was restored.” Bo begs Freyja to keep Kenzi safe, but the only promise given is: “Your wish will be fulfilled.” A black portal surrounded by fire appears behind Bo and she vanishes into it, the portal closing a moment later, Kenzi screaming as Bo vanishes. Freyja then orders Kenzi to be returned to her body.

After another commercial break, Tamsin is being held by her Valkyrie sisters, Stacey gloating as she picks up a necklace: “Tamsin… Tam-Tam… You tried, just like you always did when we were in school together but it’s not enough. It’s never enough.” Tamsin definitely replies: “Screw you Stacey.” Stacey tells Tamsin that she is not special, and that she is “just like one of us.” Tamsin growls: “I will never be like one of you.” Stacey replies: “Valhalla one-oh-one. What does Freyja hate more than anything girls? Unbalanced books.” Tamsin screams: “Stay away from them!” Stacey answers: “Can’t. With Kenzi gone we’re down a soul. Time for me to get another. One close to the Succubus’ heart.” Stacey walks away as Tamsin yells for her to stop, still restrained by the other Valkyrie.

Dyson and Lauren are seen standing at the graffiti covered wall where Dyson had recovered Tamsin from the gates to Valhalla at the end of the previous episode. Dyson wishes Lauren luck as she holds a lock of Tamsin’s hair to her chest and she reads Tamsin’s diary out loud. After reading the passage, the gates to Valhalla appear and there is the sound of screaming, which Lauren thinks is Bo, while Dyson thinks is Kenzi. Dyson forces the gate open and they both walk through the gates, pausing just beyond them. Lauren then seems to be possessed, or transformed, her eyes darkening like Tamsin’s did when she was using her powers. Then in a strange voice Lauren proclaims: “Upon blessed wings our legions carry forth the human soul, back to her body as requested by our leader. And you, wolf, have trespassed upon forbidden territory.” Lauren then seems to return to normal before collapsing into Dyson’s arms, dropping Tamsin’s hair as she does so which burns away into nothingness. Tamsin asks: “Kenzi?” Dyson answers: “Yeah.”

The next scene shows someone striking a match, which then reveals Kenzi, dressed in her bridal gown, sealed within her casket. As the match burns out, Kenzi whispers: “Help.”

The final scene of the episode shows Bo once more in Valhalla’s elevator. She looks around at the buttons on the walls and sees one that is flashing the same blue colour as had been seen on the telephones before. She looks at the button, presses it with the words: “You want me? Here I come.” The elevator then begins to move, shaking violently, with the bell sounding the passing floors rapidly as it does so as the episode comes to a close.

 

 

Fade to black…

 

Welcome to Hel, Bo… Please leave your soul at the desk and take a number. At least that’s how I saw this episode overall by the time the end rolled around. I can’t describe just how disappointed I was in this episode when I watched it. I expected something better when Bo found Kenzi, I expected more in the myths used, I wanted to see more of Bo’s past, of her Father. I expected that there would be more to Lauren, Dyson and Trick’s involvement. But really that didn’t quite come out in the story.

It felt very much like a series of good ideas for scenes were stitched together in a way to make some kind of storyline that would make some sense. But there was so much running around in circles, so many moments of the episode stalling for time and not getting to the point that it just didn’t really work overall. I don’t understand why that is exactly. Why does it take two episodes to get from finding Kenzi to wherever the story goes from here? Why was it so necessary to spend so much time having Bo or Kenzi standing around looking at the walls around them and not getting to the story?

In the moments when they went back to the relationship between Kenzi and Bo, what each means to the other, in those moments the episode shined and I was captivated by them. but Freyja was a waste of time, so was Stacey really, and that didn’t do anything to help the story along. Spending a huge amount of time looking at Freyja in her red dress ranting and “being evil” just didn’t work. She seemed more like middle management than the one in control and that shouldn’t have been. She seemed to be trying to be “Morrigan Light” and not managing that well either.

What was sadder came in the moments when we hoped that Kenzi would have her dream, to be with Hale, to speak the words that she wanted to tell him… and it didn’t happen. Then, of course, she gets taken away, Hale as well, and they are apart once more. One fate unknown, one fate hanging by a thread. That was just cruel and while I didn’t really expect to see a wedding this episode, there should have been a little more the moment than a shadow, a flash of light, and scream of dispair.

Tamsin’s appearance was disappointing as well because she is a better character than she appeared to be at the beginning of this episode. While the scenes with Bo were quite revealing, the ones with Lauren were… uninspiring and crude by far. I was just waiting for a fart joke or two, considering where everything went in that scene, and that didn’t set right with me.

I wonder just what the writers took out of this episode in order to stretch it out over two and if in doing so they did the right thing or, as I fear, they just wasted at least half an episode in posturing and ranting which adds up to nothing that made the series progress as it should have. We’ll see, of course, soon enough.

The one thing that bothers me more than anything else is how the writers seem to have forgotten all about what happened last season in order to get Bo on a mesa and then have her fall off before kicking someone in the nuts before moving on. That all seemed like a waste of time and just didn’t fit into the story we have been told. We know that Dyson gave one Helskor to Angel a long time ago and to keep it safe until the right person, Bo, came to claim it. Why was that entire plot tossed away? Wouldn’t it have been really interesting to have Bo walk into a nightclub, bar, library, bookstore, something… and meet Angel? To have a conversation about Dyson? Perhaps to learn what happened to Angel in that span of time? This was a missed chance to make the story better and it was not taken. That just hurts.

On to the characters in the episode…

Bo… She was, as a whole, kind of a lost puppy this episode which bothered me. When she was focused on Kenzi, that went well and I liked that a lot, but that beginning sequence in the desert turned me off for most of the episode and when the “freak Lauren out” scene came, that didn’t go over all that well either. I didn’t really see Bo thinking so much as reacting and as a character that doesn’t work for her. Starting a season with Boffy isn’t a good sign.

Dyson…If nothing else this episode at least he staid what he feels and made his reasons clear to Bo which accounts for a lot. The embarrassment while reading Tamsin’s diary was cute and I have to admit that I laughed at that moment. He was a bit headstrong and I have the worst feeling that he didn’t think before acting with Lauren at the gates to Valhalla, which for his character doesn’t quite seem to fit.

Kenzi… I can’t believe I am going to say this. She really disappointed me this episode. Kenzi is not, at all, the type that just loses her mind at the drop of a hat and she tended to do that a lot. I don’t care for Kenzi being blonde either. Then there is her hairstyle, which really doesn’t work for her, and as for that wedding dress… I think that has to be the most awful thing I have seen Kenzi wear in ages. I’m hoping that the dress was what she was buried in and that when, I hope, she and Hale are together, there’s something that’s more to who they are and what they are rather than what everyone else thinks they should be.

Trick. Trickipedia… Again. Not happy at all about that. I did like that he asked Bo to pass on a message for him, and she knew what that was. But Trick isn’t being what he should be in the series by far. Also, he is the Acting Ash isn’t he? So when will be be acting like the Ash?

Lauren. Bit too hyper and rattled as a whole this episode. A lot of questions about her unanswered as well. Is she Light or Dark? What was she doing in that clinic anyway? What are her plans going forwards? What happened with The Morrigan? Is Lauren planning something? To become Fae perhaps? Things to wonder about around the overstressed girlfriend scenes.

Tamsin: I see that the old bitchy Tamsin is back, at least to a point. Not really thrilled about that and her quips with Lauren and otherwise just fell flat. It’s sad because Tamsin had grown a lot by the end of last season and she’s starting this one being a lot like she was at the beginning of the last. That shouldn’t be.

Freyja. Really don’t care at all about her. She’s a second rate Morrigan character-wise and as such she’s trying to be “trouble with an attitude” which just didn’t work at all. I gritted my teeth every time she appeared and just found myself not caring at all when she was in a scene. Her entire routine of “Oh, you’re just not good enough to be near me” just rubbed me the wrong way and for a character that should have been, at least somewhat, having some fire inside of her, I just didn’t see that in her.

Stacey. Just a sad, sad Valkyrie. Come to think of it, everyone in Valhalla is so full of themselves and out of touch with everything that I am amazed that anything gets done there. Getting everything you want doesn’t mean to lose who you are for that. But it seems like that is one of the costs of being there.

The rest of the characters were, as a whole, filler and forgettable. Little bit parts that could have meant something, but were there for shock, amusement, or otherwise trying to add some colour into the story. Perhaps making the core story more focused would have meant not needing to add little scenes that didn’t amount to anything.

The opening of a new season should be inspiring and make you want to see what happens next. If I wasn’t so invested in the series already I think I would find it hard to do that. I shouldn’t.

 

My Review of Dark Horse

Keeping my interest – 3 Pitchforks

Portrayal of a Succubus – 1 Pitchforks

Overall look and feel – 3 Pitchforks

Storyline – 3 Pitchforks

Main Characters – 4 Pitchforks

Mythos – 5 Pitchforks

Overall Rating – 3.2 Pitchforks out of 5

 

This was, regrettably, another episode that moved at a glacial pace for the most part. There was just too much posturing I felt over the course of the episode that didn’t really amount to very much. What’s worse, at least for me, is that Kenzi… Didn’t “feel” like Kenzi. Oh it was her, there’s no question about that, and it was wonderful to see her, but… it felt wrong somehow. It’s hard to put into words exactly why that is, I think it’s that Kenzi wasn’t being herself very much if that’s one way to explain it. She was hesitant, uncertain, and not herself and that just made the episode feel wrong as a whole. There were too many characters to dislike in the episode as well for me at least. I didn’t care for Freyja at all, nor Stacey for that matter and that set my opinion on things as a whole… off. I know there’s been changes in the direction of the series his season, I get that, but when the characters themselves aren’r quite true to their past, that’s a huge problem for the episode and series. Also, seeing Kensia listed as a “Special Guest Star” just tells me that she won’t be in the series through the entire season and that just made me very sad. It rips the heart out of the series for me, takes away the connection that she has with the fans and… that’s just wrong.

Bo was not a Succubus in this episode again really. Yes, she used her powers twice to some effect, once sort of, and it just didn’t really go anywhere or do anything. She was Boffy again, all fighting and little thinking, which again doesn’t work for me. I didn’t expect much in the way of anything Succubus-like regardless in this episode, it really didn’t call for it, but I did expect more of Bo than what she did in this episode.

The concept of setting Valhalla in a hotel, especially the Royal York. is quite a good one really. But there really wasn’t a lot of that explored and having Freyja as vain as she was just rubbed me the wrong way. As a foil to Bo she was more “I’m evil” than “I’m someone that you need to respect” and that’s a real problem with the setting. The ruler of such a realm should be more than window dressing and that’s really all she seemed to be, other than a lot of ranting and losing her temper. That’s not any means to respect, it’s revealing how impotent one is. Still, the setting, Freyja aside, was well shown, I liked the overall look and concept quite a lot. I would have liked a bit more personality in the wedding scene however and there was too much time spent in the hallways, Kenzi’s room, and just running around that bothered me. The most interesting thing I thought was the elevator actually and how that worked. I thought that was well done and had a lot of possibilites.

The storyline seemed to be very scattered, moving from desert mesa, to the Dal Riata, a medical clinic and then off to Valhalla before coming back to Earth and Kenzi’s current fate. The biggest problem I had was that there was a certain mythos about the Helskor set out last season and that was tossed to the side with the first moment of this episode. That was just wrong and the writers missed a chance for more to be told about Dyson’s past because of it. Then things seemed to revolve around Bo running around in circles, all fury and nothing, until the trap was sprung, she had no choices, and the train just ran her over on its way to the ending. Add to that the lack of closure for Kenzi, how her story was rushed through, and the ever so weak “wedding” scene that from the beginning was clearly a trap, even if Kenzi and Bo didn’t seem to see that, and it just was… disappointing.

There was some good however in the moments between Bo and Kenzi more than anything else. At least their lives are settled, they understand what each means to the other, and there’s a lot of emotion in those moments. It was good to see Dyson tell the truth, for Lauren to show her willingness to do whatever it takes, no matter the cost. Tamsin had promise in her battling against her nature, her sisters, and her fate as well. Trick however was… just there. The main cast has shrunk a lot right from the start of this season and that’s a problem. The original cast was “together” much more than it is now. The episode felt like a series of vignettes that didn’t quite connect together as well as they could have.

The mythos of the series had a lot added to it this episode, and I thought the mix of several myths and legends worked well together. The twist in how Valhalla was shown was rather unique even if I didn’t care for several of the characters connected to it. There was a bit more revealed about Bo’s Father in that he’s been scheming for a long time it seems and with that the question of how it is that he has so much control over things is a question to wonder about… Whether that will be explained more fully, or if he’ll appear before the end of the series finally, is quite another.

I just really want to be more engaged in the next episode than I was with this one. That alone would make a real difference and I hope that happens… But there are a lot of concerns appearing over the horizon that worry me.

 

Next Week: Like Hell, Part II

Bo needs the help of an estranged family member. Lauren‘s haunted by a mysterious spirit.

 

Possibly one of the most useless episode summary teasers I’ve ever seen from Showcase honestly. Actually that brings up something else that I noticed as well. The series isn’t on iTunes as yet. Well before the first episode even aired last season you could buy the season on iTunes, but this season there isn’t a glimmer of any indication that the season will even appear on iTunes. Personally I think that’s a shame because I’m sure a lot of people would rather buy the series than torrent it. Which, as an aside, is amazingly popular there. So Showcase, get your act together and put the series out will you? It would be appreciated!

Back to the summary then, I wonder if Bo is going to finally meet her Grandmother and find out the truth about what happened to her after all of this time. I think that spending ten minutes at some point with the two of them talking would be a really good thing. But, as a bit of a thought, and I don’t expect it to happen, what if Aife, Bo’s mother, is there? She’s popped up in all sorts of weird places and this really wouldn’t be that much of a surprise would it? So, if that happens, then we have Bo, her mother and her father all in one place at the same time. Isn’t that what Bo’s father had wanted, at least from what Aife has told in the past?

Around all of this, of course, comes what happens to Kenzi, being that she is buried alive at the moment. I’ll guess that Dyson is the one that gets her out of that situation. Then the question is, what does Kenzi do from that point onwards? She knows that Hale is in Valhalla somewhere, she knows that Bo is there. So how is Kenzi going to get back there and is that all part of Bo’s Father’s plans? Plans within plans within plans. Actually that seems to be the core plot of the entire series when I think about it a bit. Probably better not to as I’ll begin ranting again.

As I see things, at least based on a lot of episode titles that are starting to appear, it feels like this year Bo will be going over the edge and that’s troublesome to me. I don’t like the idea of the series devolving into a series of fights as that really doesn’t do anything for me. I don’t expect a lot of closure, at least in the first half of the season, but there had better be a good ending to the series as a whole. And that scene I saw earlier this year in production with what looked like a car accident had better not be the conclusion because, honestly, that’s been done before.

Anyway, up next comes a confrontation, probably not a single answer, and only more questions. I hope not, but I’m expecting that.

I’ve ordered more popcorn. I’ll need it.

 

 

Tera

3 comments

  1. avatar
    James

    I hate to point out that Your Majesty has been consistently disappointed in this series from the beginning, consistently holding out hope that it would get better. Alas, they are running out of time.

    And I am afraid that, if the filler, the self-referential, self-conscious tidal wave of hipness substituting for exposition are any indication, the writers are bereft of ideas, and improvement will not come.

    On the bright side, I would point out that Heather Locklear was a “special guest star” through most of “Melrose Place, and Zachary Harris through every episode of “Lost In Space.” Kensia may have simply gotten a better payday . . .

  2. avatar
    Pocong

    Ughhh… The idea of Valhalla as a hotel that’s basically heaven REALLY rubs me the wrong way. It just feels like they’re trying to make a sexy square peg fit into a bloody, viking shaped hole you know?

  3. avatar
    TeraS

    I hope she did, and I hope she’s having a blast in her new roles…

    Tera

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