Generally speaking Succubi do not possess others. Now, that’s not a rule mind you, but overall most Succubi seem to be quite happy with having their own forms and then mimic others to get what they want.
The idea of a Succubus, or for that matter, many Succubi possessing bodies is in itself an interesting idea… But the real question is how to approach that and make it interesting…
I’m not sire that possessing a group of stripper friends is the best way of going about things but…
- Title: Demon Sluts From Hell
- Author: Lauren Stone
- Publishing Date: January 8, 2012
- Length: 14 Pages
- This work at Amazon.com
The work is the story of:
Tammy just wants to dance on stage, but her lack of confidence is holding her back. She works as a shot girl at a strip club and is the only witness when six horny demons invade the bodies of her friends. These demons get their power from sex and sex comes easy when you’re a beautiful stripper. Tammy will need to overcome her confidence issues in order to save the day and ultimately find herself on stage, where she knows she belongs!
Tammy serves drinks at a nightclub, but she wants to dance on stage. One, because she believes that her dance and ballerina training will help her, but mainly because she needs to make a lot more money to pay her school bills. In other words, Tammy is the stripper to be with the heart of gold that needs a break to get herself into a better place than she is at the moment.
There’s more not to like about this work than there is to like about it. The main thing being that the author needs to spell check and grammar check their writing, Most of all they need an editor to help take this work from… well, B-grade porn film wanna-be to something better than that.
Honestly I don’t think it would take all that much to manage it. There are a lot of things in the work that I did like. The idea of hell being offshore of New York was cute, the friends of Tammy were interesting, up until the point of them being possessed. I could even like the “bad guy” of the work as well… to a point.
But it’s really difficult to read a work of erotica that seems like it was written as fast as possible and then shoved into the world without much thought being given to making the story interesting, the sex scenes hotter, and the characters people that you wanted to keep reading about.
The descriptions of what is going on seem… clinical, for lack of a better description. I like some heat with my erotica, but that heat coming from the characters saying do me baby oh yeah no, sorry but no, there are better ways to build heat than that.
There is a story in this, one that I really wanted to like, but from the first page I just found myself less and less interested in the entire thing and that’s a shame. The idea is great, the execution leaves something to be desired and that… that shouldn’t be.
I mean, we are talking about Succubi here. Speaking of the Succubi themselves, they were more interested in groping each other and making almost bimbo-like conversation that I just didn’t like them at all. They were stereotypical in a lot of ways and that just turned me off further still.
One final note. This work is no longer published on Smashwords where I originally found it, but it is on Amazon currently. I can only hope that the author fixed the errors in the story first before they published on Amazon.
I’ll give this work one pitchfork out of five.
The writing didn’t flow well, the author needs an editor desperately, and there should be more “show” and a lot less “tell” then appears here. This author did write another work, this time with an Incubus in it that I’ll review next week for the sake of completeness, but… we’ll see.