I don’t really enjoy stories that are more horror than erotic in nature. It’s a fine line to walk and many writers can’t quite manage to make that work in the best of ways I have found.
If they can manage that, then the question turns to one of the story, where it goes, and if it makes some kind of sense. If however there are more questions left behind at the end of the story, then I’m not quite so sure about that being good for the story overall.
It gets more difficult when a theme, like Succubi, is mixed with others such as futa porn… Once in a while that works and I can accept all of the story… But then, it can’t be something really short as well… That starts to bother me some…
- Title: Showertime Succubus
- Author: Ryl Zero
- Publishing Date: March 12, 2012
- Length: 9 Pages
- This work at Smashwords.com
- This work at Amazon.com
The story tells of:
A succubus deals out some carnal karmic justice on a rapist. Erin arranges to be alone with a coach not known for being a gentleman in order to deal out some carnal karmic justice, and have a little fun into the bargain.
Erin is waiting for someone to arrive in the shower with her so that she can make him pay for what he’s been doing… And being that Erin is a Succubus, she can make sure that happens… permanently.
Erin interests me. She’s much more mature than she seems to be in the story. But as much as that is obvious and as much as it should be part of the story, it really isn’t. The core of the story is her revenge on him and then the aftermath of it.
That’s not poorly done by any means. The writing is very good, the characters, Erin in particular are well done, her attitude and control of the situation is very Succubus like. The problem is that, to me at least, it’s shadows and mirrors of what and who she is. We really never see the real Erin for the mirages around her. Oh there is a glimpse when her eye turn completely black, but otherwise we have no real idea of the real her.
Perhaps that’s the point if you think about it. A Succubus is, after all, supposed to be what the others around her want her to be… But then the question is, what is Stacy’s relationship with Erin here? Stacy is obviously human, but also knows what Erin is so… Who is she? We never really know by the time the story ends.
There is a transformation of Erin because of what she does, and that in itself is interesting. But what that means is only touched on for the erotic scene that follows it. Perhaps that is the one problem with this story… Lots of tease, lots of heat, but the ending… Not too satisfying to me at least… Heat without meaning isn’t quite enough.
There are too many questions left at the end of the story and I would have liked it to be longer and tell more about Erin and Stacy… Where they met, why Stacy knows all about Erin… Things like that are left unsaid and I would have liked to know.
I’ll give this work three pitchforks out of five.
Interesting but short, a little on the squick side for me personally, but I am glad that the majority of the horror is off the page… But still… Would like to know more about Erin… She’s more than she seems to be and we only get a tease of that…