One of the things that bothers me about some stories is that here is one character that is responsible for everything that happens. That’s not really a huge problem unless of course why they are doing so is never explained. What gets to me most of all however is pricing a book at a level that makes no sense for what you receive.
- Title: Devil’s Play
- Author: Bryony London
- Length: 7 Pages
- Publishing Date: May 9, 2012
- This eBook at Smashwords.com
- This eBook at Amazon.com
The story is of:
Todd thinks he has Psi Pi Psi all figured out, but when he meets Deanna for his kinky initiation, things take a turn for the demonic. Is she too hot for this frat boy to handle?
I have to say up front that I am very disappointed with the author most of all. Charging three dollars for a seven page book is not anything near to being fair.
I expect more from an author when their books are priced this high and this author did not deliver on my expectations. Yes the cover is nice, yes there is a story to be read. But the thinness of this story, the lack of depth in it, the complete inability to justify the cost of this work?
That kills it for me before I turn the first page.
Setting aside that, Deanna is every bit the Succubus in this story. But no horns or tail to be seen. She takes a soul, there is no doubt of that, and she has magic to use, again, without a doubt. There is a lot to like about her as a Succubus, but, and here’s the thing, she switches personalities so much in the story that I wondered if she had multiple personality disorder to be honest.
The “big bad” of the story, Barry, you dislike from the moment you see him. Just about the worst person you can think of, he seems to care more about beer than anything else and that isn’t a character trait nor is it a means to define him as a character.
What gets to me more is that we never get an explanation to why exactly Barry is involved with Deanna. Also, what is never explained is why all of the ceremony is needed for Deanna to claim a soul? There is a lot of disconnects such a short story and that bothers me.
The author at least spell checked the story and had it edited. That helps some, but overall? I just really can’t like it as much as I would want to for the flaws in it.
I’m giving this work two pitchforks out of five.
Deanna is interesting, seductive, and actually has a personality. That was a plus for me. The negative came in with Barry, his attitude, and no explanation whatsoever of why he did what he did. Not to mention Deanna’s connection to everything. Oh, and the open door at the end for the story to continue? I’m not sure I want to continue if another story comes…
For the cost of this eBook, I expect at least ten times the pages… Seriously. At 99 cents, okay, that’s fine. But three dollars? No, sorry, you have the money for this one, you’re not likely to have anymore from me.