I didn’t expect what happened here… I really didn’t and what comes afterwards even more so…
Desires – Truths
By MZ and Tera S
MZ raged and burned… waiting for his answer…. he hurt… he wanted Tera to suffer…. he was blind with his revenge. MZ was Tera’s contraposition as he impatiently demanded and Tera calmly continued.
Tearing off my jacket, I threw it away. Spinning around and examining the black statue, my eyes burned with lust for power.. for my sweet revenge. “I WANT IT ALL….”
Tera ignored my outburst and continued. She droned on and on about having no fear of love. Then she say,
I turned my head over my shoulder and spouted back at her. “I don’t care about your opinions… I WANT IT ALL…”
Tera continued on undaunted, explaining how her Love is more powerful than anything I could throw at her. My chest flaring with each passing second as my impatience grow… “Tell me about the spell… what are you waiting for… I WANT IT ALL…”
Tera tried to placate me with an excuse of why she attacked me… How I hurt one of her loved ones… and how she found loving homes for all my slaves. It was enough. I turned back staring with murder in my eyes. “AND I WANT IT NOW…”
Then she did something I wasn’t prepared for. Her eyes were still soft… still loving… no hurt… no judgement….
Those eyes… I know where I’ve see those eyes before now… There the same as her’s were…
Tera got my attention with how her repeating my question. I paused for a moment looking down with my hands on my hips. She continued. I looked back up… not taking my eyes off hers for a second… I had to know… I needed to see… those eyes one more time…. to know if I’d been lying to myself ever since then.
My heart seemed to stop… I found my soul thirsted for those words. I started to find it hard to continue hiding from my pain… my guilt… my memory of those… Oh so wonderful eyes… My throat burned and as those … Oh so wonderful eyes convicted me to my core. Then Tera said the words that healed me…. She gave me such a precious gift… one I had no right to expect and never could earn…
I couldn’t face Tera anymore… My tears no longer waiting… I turned back to the statue… ashamed and convicted by what I now knew was True, Sincere and Perfect Love…..
Mother had those same eyes… I told myself she looked at me like that out of hope that blinded her from my faults… her hope that I would change… I convinced myself of that as I looked into those …Oh so wonderful eyes.. and promised her I would change just before she passed away. It was all my fault.. If I had changed before she caught me like that… she wouldn’t have gotten into the accident escaping the pain I caused her.
I fell to my knees… the tears streaming down my face… splashing upon my lap. I hung my head in defeat… in sower… how could I face those… Oh so wonderful eyes.
Mother could tell… she knew the whole time while I lied straight to her face… she knew and never flinched… never judged my… never stopped loving me. She told me a mother’s love was endless and forever… and I betrayed her… How.. How can I forgive myself? I’m not worthy of that gift…. of those… Oh so wonderful eyes…
I lift my eyes upon the statue… it was a monument to my hate… showing me just how evil I really am… I took a something so perfect… so needed and locked it away from the world… trapped in a black form, just as my heart had hardened to everyone else and myself. I slowly answered Tera in a weak soft voice… filled with haunting pain.
“How can you ask me that? My heart has a history of hurting the ones that mean the most to me. I’ve destroyed lives.. families… I’ve been through this such a long long time, just trying to kill the pain.” I lowered my head and in a raspy barely audible whisper. “Please… just tell me how to finish the spell.”
It’s never easy to see oneself is it?